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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 3 post(s) |
Reaver Glitterstim
Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore
653
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Posted - 2013.12.02 08:46:00 -
[1] - Quote
time to do it again. This time lets try to keep the jokes relevant to EVE, not so much of the Earth jokes redecorated for EVE eh?
I'll start: What's the difference between an Amarrian and a Blood Raider?
One is a bloodthirsty hypocrite dedicated to nihilism, worshiping a font of eternal youth, killing in the name of a child-killing, slaver devil-god. The other's a Blood Raider.
(I didn't make that one up) Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!! |
Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
627
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Posted - 2013.12.02 08:55:00 -
[2] - Quote
Phoenix. Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Ramona McCandless
Red Federation RvB - RED Federation
1187
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Posted - 2013.12.02 08:55:00 -
[3] - Quote
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:time to do it again. This time lets try to keep the jokes relevant to EVE, not so much of the Earth jokes redecorated for EVE eh?
I'll start: What's the difference between an Amarrian and a Blood Raider?
One is a bloodthirsty hypocrite dedicated to nihilism, worshiping a font of eternal youth, killing in the name of a child-killing, slaver devil-god. The other's a Blood Raider.
(I didn't make that one up)
I want the above on a t-shirt
DEATH TO THE FALSE GOD
HAIL THE COLOUR OF THE TAINT CLARET THAT RUNS TRUE High Priestess of The Temple of the Holy Amarr Suicide Cult of Haimeh "You are, quite literally, the best person ever." --áDomanique Altares,-áRifterlings "Send Ramona your ISK, and biomass." --áJarod Garamonde,-áSardaukar Merc Guild |
Anomaly One
90
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Posted - 2013.12.02 08:58:00 -
[4] - Quote
I got nothin *~~*running my own mission and have some class bully run up and blow me up because they think its funny, then give the excuses that I was just firing fireworks at you*~~* |
Reaver Glitterstim
Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore
654
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Posted - 2013.12.02 09:09:00 -
[5] - Quote
Phoenix at a stargate in lowsec getting popped by a Raven. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!! |
Starbuck05
The Mjolnir Bloc B O R G
53
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Posted - 2013.12.02 10:17:00 -
[6] - Quote
Droping a blops gang on a frig then saying gf in local? Not a joke..but funny still...
Otherwise,i got nothing... -á- I am the commanding officer , u should adress me as sir ! -á- But if i call u sir , what would i call your wife then ?? |
Jove Death
The Jovian Navy
222
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Posted - 2013.12.02 10:23:00 -
[7] - Quote
I got this mail
So, you're Jovian? I haven't seen many, but you don't look like one... 'm suspicious now... perhaps you're planning to infiltrate the empires and secretly replace everyone with a Jovian. After all, the cloning and capsules were your tech originally.
Or maybe... you already have and I'm the last non-Jovian person left in New Eden!
Dunno about you but I lmfao Quoting "you will die" in EvE is fail Chars dont die in EvE. Unless you have a heart attack eek
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ACE McFACE
Radical Astronauts Plundering Eve
1566
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Posted - 2013.12.02 11:54:00 -
[8] - Quote
Debora Tsung wrote:Phoenix. I am now in hospital after my sides literally split. You should be notified if someone quotes your post so you can continue the argument! |
Giuseppe R Raimondo
Lowsey Pirates Inc. Capital Alliance
2
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Posted - 2013.12.02 12:01:00 -
[9] - Quote
-Your mom is so fat that 1400 can hit here when moving -Your mom is so fat you need a HIC to stop here.
(Dont mind grammer, writing from a phone) |
Signal11th
DARKNESS.
1132
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Posted - 2013.12.02 12:05:00 -
[10] - Quote
Yo mama so fat she has to be cyno'ed into the kitchen. Powered by-áreaTh-áFilter V1.23 "All posts by this pilot are personal held views and not representitive of-áany-ácorp or alliance I am currently a member of. Like I'd give a-ásh*t anyway. God Said "Come Forth and receive eternal life!" I came fifth and won a toaster. |
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Debora Tsung
The Investment Bankers Guild
630
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Posted - 2013.12.02 12:18:00 -
[11] - Quote
Signal11th wrote:Yo mama so fat she has to be cyno'ed into the kitchen.
Your signature is quite hilarious.
I'd refrein from Yo moma jokes unless they end with "[...] then I'd be your dad!" Stupidity should be a bannable offense.
Also This --> https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=216699 Please stop making "afk cloak" threads, thanks in advance. |
Treborr MintingtonJr
Quantum Reality R n D The Methodical Alliance
40
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Posted - 2013.12.02 12:38:00 -
[12] - Quote
Which caldari battleship is a non-stop party bus to Ibiza?
Rave-en
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Ptraci
3 R Corporation Boarderline Cartel
1411
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Posted - 2013.12.02 14:30:00 -
[13] - Quote
Someone actually bought my Phoenix. |
NEONOVUS
Diabolically Sexy Eureka-Secret Science R Us
509
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Posted - 2013.12.02 14:47:00 -
[14] - Quote
Naked Ammatar man tells the local paladin he loves crash and needs more crash. Just now You have to appreciate a man who knows what he likes. In the case of a certain enthusiastic man from Riramia IV, that would be crash. How do we know this? Because the 21-year-old told paladins that he "loved crash and needed more crash." In fact, he told them many times. He also scampered naked through a habitation complex, attempted to get in a ground car with a woman and her child, donned pajamas, got on the hood of a patrol car, dove head-first into an officer, tried to flee, was hit with a PEP twice, removed the pajamas and was arrested. Per the arrest report, "Statements from the defendant were not possible as he would only state he loved crash and needed more crash. From this we gather that the man is seeking help for his condition.GÇ¥ The local Theology Council has reported that the man will be given a full detox and additional aid through this trying time. Meanwhile, anonymous sources report that an orbital bombardment of the manGÇÖs district has been ordered for their failure to uphold the principles outlined in the Scriptures. Their failure to aid a man in such need of distress points to a laxity that must not be allowed to spread.
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Sebastor Cane
The Outlet
85
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:06:00 -
[15] - Quote
1. Man goes to the doctor and says "my life is worthless. I have no friends and i'm an unkissed virgin and i never leave the house" The doctor looks over the mans notes and says "leave nullsec and only play casually and all of your problems will be solved" |
Inquisitor Ageri
24th Imperial Crusade Amarr Empire
167
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:20:00 -
[16] - Quote
I got one...
Why did the TQ server require an emergency shutdown today?
...Because it wasn't cap stable!
*sigh |
Jarod Garamonde
Sardaukar Merc Guild General Tso's Alliance
799
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:22:00 -
[17] - Quote
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:Phoenix.
Fixed it for you That moment when you realize the crazy lady with all the cats was right... |
Treborr MintingtonJr
Quantum Reality R n D The Methodical Alliance
44
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:23:00 -
[18] - Quote
Man - Doctor doctor I think I'm a Phoenix!
Doctor - Well you've made a Dread-ful mistake |
Bloody Slave
Republic Military School Minmatar Republic
61
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:30:00 -
[19] - Quote
Inquisitor Ageri wrote:I got one... Why did the TQ server require an emergency shutdown today? ...Because it wasn't cap stable! *sigh
LMAO, and I was expecting you to tell them to biomass on the end.
If your balls are hurt and bleeding don't sit in a pool full of piranhas (note to myself: don't complain in GD) |
Jasmin Natinde
Hedion University Amarr Empire
2
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:55:00 -
[20] - Quote
A newb in his Rifter joins his new nullsec alliance on his first ever op. Everyone else is in blinged out T3s and T2s, a dozen guys ready to rock. "Just sit back and watch the show" they tell him.
First they go three jumps to a neighbouring system, and meet a gang of similar size. FC yells out orders, everything works like clockwork, the enemy all get blown up with no losses - the newb is suitably impressed. Then they go 10 jumps further. They jump into a bubble camp, the overview all read. FC rallies his troops, they make good use of ECM and all that and after a while the reds are all dead, and only one guy loses his ship. "Wow these guys are great".
That one guy reships, and they go 20 jumps further deep into enemy territory. They get a few kills along the way but finally they get hotdropped, quite a few capitals and a couple of titans on top. All seems lost, but the FC descovers a freaking new game mechanic just in time, distracts the enemy with pictures of ladies in local, and generally uses his machiavellian skills until there's 5 of them left on the field, amid a pile of capital wrecks. "Holy freaking space, you guys are the best" "We know" the pros say, smugly.
Time to head home. 30 uneventful jumps later they're one jump from home and ready to call it a day. Suddenly the newb spots one lone guy in local and he's barely older than he is. "Come on guys let's get him, i can fight this one too !" Complete silence. Then a moment later he sees 2 of his mate's ships self-destruct, 1 ship abandoned by it's owner, the FC flying in panic to a safespot. "Man, how good must this guy be if he can scare a bunch of pros like my buds !".
Finally he hears the FCs terrified whipser on vent.. "run man, run.. it's an AFK CLOAKER".
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Icarus Able
Traverse Holdings Setting The Universe on Fire
204
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Posted - 2013.12.02 15:59:00 -
[21] - Quote
Jasmin Natinde wrote:
Finally he hears the FCs terrified whipser on vent.. "run man, run.. it's an AFK CLOAKER".
I loled. |
Jenn aSide
STK Scientific Initiative Mercenaries
3526
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Posted - 2013.12.02 16:08:00 -
[22] - Quote
Yo momma so stupid she heard you was flyin a Nightmare and tried to wake you up.
(Thanks, i'll be here all week, try the veal) |
NearNihil
Every time is Fuwa time
80
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Posted - 2013.12.02 16:10:00 -
[23] - Quote
So a Gallentean, a Blood Raider and a Jovian walk into a bar...
I forget the rest of the joke but grr Goons. |
NEONOVUS
Diabolically Sexy Eureka-Secret Science R Us
511
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Posted - 2013.12.02 16:42:00 -
[24] - Quote
NearNihil wrote:So a Gallentean, a Blood Raider and a Jovian walk into a bar...
I forget the rest of the joke but grr Goons. The Gallentean asks for a Panfizzle Garglebanger Atomic Fireball. She wakes up in a new clone the next day in a deep isolation cell administered by The Society of Conscious Thought. The Blood Raider asks for a Blood Light and is given a Bud Light. He proceeds to use the bartender to fix the mistake. The Jovian is never served sinks into depression and dies. |
Wyrmlimion
The Scope Gallente Federation
22
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Posted - 2013.12.02 16:48:00 -
[25] - Quote
What do you call a fleet with mulitple Avatar's?
A Sausage-fest.
How do you describe jumping your Avatar into a system?
Letting your flag fly. |
Reaver Glitterstim
Dromedaworks inc Test Alliance Please Ignore
658
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Posted - 2013.12.02 16:52:00 -
[26] - Quote
I hear Caldari's yellow flag with a Scorpion battleship on it, saying "don't warp through me" was the dominant flag before they switched to something with pretty colors and shapes to represent all their districts or something. Morons. Fit a warfare link to your tech 1 battlecruiser. Train Wing Commander. Get in the Squad Commander or Wing Commander position. Your fleets will be superior to everyone else's. (had this sig BEFORE Odyssey BC rebalance) And bring back the missile Inquisitor!! |
Abdiel Kavash
Paladin Order Fidelas Constans
2110
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Posted - 2013.12.02 17:26:00 -
[27] - Quote
Read in somebody's bio a long time ago:
"The Amarr pray for power. The Caldari pray for profits. The Gallente pray for freedom. The Minmatar pray that their ships won't fall apart." |
NEONOVUS
Diabolically Sexy Eureka-Secret Science R Us
513
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Posted - 2013.12.02 17:31:00 -
[28] - Quote
The Cadari do SCIENCE!!! for profit. The Amarr do SCIENCE!!! because god is dead. The Gallente do SCIENCE!!! to make pleasure. The Minmatar don't do SCIENCE!!! They have magic instead. |
fatzy pillow
School of Applied Knowledge Caldari State
2
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Posted - 2013.12.02 17:36:00 -
[29] - Quote
EVE trailers - if that's what made you sign up. LOL |
Ivan Krividus
Straightedge and Compass Industrial
27
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Posted - 2013.12.02 18:49:00 -
[30] - Quote
fatzy pillow wrote:EVE trailers - if that's what made you sign up. LOL Op said to keep it revenant. This joke is irrevenant, you vagabond. |
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