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Vandle Cascade
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Posted - 2010.08.26 18:29:00 -
[1]
Hey I wanted to start a topic on best pirate jokes or sayings and see what we come up with. I'll go first.
Im the scurge of the vaginal canal.
BEGIN!
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Brusanan
Beware of Carp General Tso's Alliance
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Posted - 2010.08.26 18:43:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Brusanan on 26/08/2010 18:43:28 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8e08V1NRvk ______
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Paknac Queltel
Coffee Muggers HYDRA RELOADED
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Posted - 2010.08.26 18:46:00 -
[3]
What does a pirate do when he's sued?
Go for Yarrbitration! - Paknac Queltel
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SFX Bladerunner
Minmatar Black Serpent Technologies R.A.G.E
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Posted - 2010.08.26 18:47:00 -
[4]
Edited by: SFX Bladerunner on 26/08/2010 18:47:26 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AzpByR3MvI
Biggest joke ever __________________________________________________
History is much like an endless waltz, the three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.. |
omgfreemoniez
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:02:00 -
[5]
Pirate: Knock knock Noob: Who's there Pirate: A pirate Noob: A pirate who? Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR Noob: What? Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW Noob: You're weird Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS Noob: I'm out of here Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap
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Ran Khanon
Amarr Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:06:00 -
[6]
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite? I agree with everything Barakkus posts. |
Grace Halibel
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:21:00 -
[7]
Originally by: omgfreemoniez Pirate: Knock knock Noob: Who's there Pirate: A pirate Noob: A pirate who? Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR Noob: What? Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW Noob: You're weird Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS Noob: I'm out of here Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap
ROFL XD This one wins hand down, thank you so much for posting it XD
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kiki mo
Caldari Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:22:00 -
[8]
Originally by: Ran Khanon A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite?
That joke was a crime; and the punishment was to read it.
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Ran Khanon
Amarr Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:35:00 -
[9]
Originally by: kiki mo
Originally by: Ran Khanon A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
hahahhAHAHA OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY! Rite?
That joke was a crime; and the punishment was to read it.
;_; sorry for was rly bad joak I agree with everything Barakkus posts. |
Razzor Death
Antares Shipyards Circle-Of-Two
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Posted - 2010.08.26 19:38:00 -
[10]
Hi-jacking thread with best youtube song ever ~~
-------------------------------------------------- I'm posting in your thread and I didn't even read the OP v0v |
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Atomik Harmonik
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Posted - 2010.08.26 20:21:00 -
[11]
ok...my turn for a really bad joke
Q: Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?
A: It was rated ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
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Fat Uncle
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Posted - 2010.08.26 20:41:00 -
[12]
Originally by: omgfreemoniez Pirate: Knock knock Noob: Who's there Pirate: A pirate Noob: A pirate who? Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR Noob: What? Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW Noob: You're weird Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS Noob: I'm out of here Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap
Quoting for win
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Ichire Dacar
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Posted - 2010.08.26 20:53:00 -
[13]
Why are pirates called pirates?
They just ARRRRR!
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Spruillo
Gallente
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Posted - 2010.08.26 20:57:00 -
[14]
Originally by: omgfreemoniez Pirate: Knock knock Noob: Who's there Pirate: A pirate Noob: A pirate who? Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR Noob: What? Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW Noob: You're weird Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS Noob: I'm out of here Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap
southpark much?
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Mytzso
Private Nuisance
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Posted - 2010.08.26 21:49:00 -
[15]
Originally by: omgfreemoniez Pirate: Knock knock Noob: Who's there Pirate: A pirate Noob: A pirate who? Pirate: LOL NOOB CRY MOAR Noob: What? Pirate: ROFL YOUR TEARS SUSTAIN ME GB2WOW Noob: You're weird Pirate: LOLOLOL DELICIOUS TEARS Noob: I'm out of here Pirate: Fapfapfapfapfap
a clear winner
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Raiden Kaine
Semper Liber Everto Rex Regis
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Posted - 2010.08.26 22:12:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Brusanan Edited by: Brusanan on 26/08/2010 18:43:28 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8e08V1NRvk
+1 |
Xearal
Minmatar SOL Industries Kamikaze Project
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Posted - 2010.08.26 22:56:00 -
[17]
Here's definitely a good one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK2tWVj6lXw
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kiki mo
Caldari Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2010.08.26 23:05:00 -
[18]
here's definitely a bad one:
Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.
random movie pirate reference - Steve the pirate in 'Dodgeball'
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Corelous Alterrian
Amarr Beyond Evil and Good
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Posted - 2010.08.26 23:16:00 -
[19]
VETO,
Nuff said.
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OneTimeAt BannedSpank
Amarr Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta
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Posted - 2010.08.27 00:02:00 -
[20]
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!! ~
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Joe Phoenix
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Posted - 2010.08.27 01:58:00 -
[21]
Edited by: Joe Phoenix on 27/08/2010 02:00:04 Does the dirty pirate count?
Ran Khanon get my vote for making me laugh :)
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Vandle Cascade
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Posted - 2010.08.27 21:28:00 -
[22]
ok you guys are the best pirates you WTFPWNED the **** out of this thread with your bad jokes good job guys... |
Jawmare
The Python Cartel. The Jerk Cartel
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Posted - 2010.08.27 23:42:00 -
[23]
Your KD ratio :smug:
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Tortugan
Internal Anarchy WE FORM VOLTRON
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Posted - 2010.08.28 00:16:00 -
[24]
Originally by: OneTimeAt BannedSpank Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
First I was like :/ Then I was like :'| Then I was like xD
:D
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xXThunder StruckXx
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Posted - 2010.08.28 01:10:00 -
[25]
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because theyYYYYYYYYaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr !!!!
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mamolian
Cruoris Seraphim
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Posted - 2010.08.28 01:37:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Vandle Cascade
Im the scourge[sic] of the vaginal canal.
BEGIN!
So your a nasty dose of genital warts then huh? Remind me to wear a condom if we ever meet bro. -----------
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Spruillo
Gallente
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Posted - 2010.08.28 03:01:00 -
[27]
So a pirate stumbles into the bar with a ship's wheel hanging out his pants.
Bartender asks "So uh... Whats with the ship's wheel in your pants?"
Pirate says "AAAAAARGG, It's driving me NUTS!!!!"
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Gavin Darklighter
Ministry of War
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Posted - 2010.08.28 03:46:00 -
[28]
A young man is captured by pirates and is persuaded to join the crew rather than walk the plank. After a few weeks at sea the captain speaks to the man and asks him how he is getting on. The man replies that on the whole he is enjoying things - the rum-soaked drinking binges, the plundering, etc - but there was one thing missing.
"What's that?" asks the captain. "Well, there are no women" replies the man.
"Arrr" says the captain "Follow me!" The man follows the captain to what appears to be a barrel, on top of the barrel stands a coconut with a face drawn on and a few strands of wispy straw for hair. On the barrel is a crude outline of a woman's body and between the legs is a bung hole. "We calls her Carmen," says the captain, "and you may take her as you will". The man explains that he was unlikely to make use of her and goes on his way.
However, as the months go by with no respite, Carmen appears more and more attractive to the young man. Finally he can resist her no longer and the man has his wicked way with Carmen the rum barrel. To his amazement the experience is far more satisfying than he could ever have imagined!
The next day the captain greets him again. "How did you get on with Carmen then, lad?" he asks eagerly. The man replies "Rather better than I thought... actually, it was rather good!"
"Good," says the captain, a great beaming smile splitting his black-bearded face. "It's your turn in the barrel tomorrow!"
signature picture exceeds the size limit.~WeatherMan |
Terra Mikael
Private Nuisance
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Posted - 2010.08.28 12:58:00 -
[29]
Edited by: Terra Mikael on 28/08/2010 12:59:35 More like a special move, but...
The Pirate:
When you are about to blow your load, take it out and shoot it in one of the girl's eyes. when she gets up to go rinse out her eye, kick her in the shin so she hobbles around yelling AARRRR!
___________ Proof that Daniel Jackson is a ret@rded furry |
Ran Khanon
Amarr Swords Horses and Heavy Metal
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Posted - 2010.08.28 13:11:00 -
[30]
Originally by: Terra Mikael Edited by: Terra Mikael on 28/08/2010 12:59:35 More like a special move, but...
The Pirate:
When you are about to blow your load, take it out and shoot it in one of the girl's eyes. when she gets up to go rinse out her eye, kick her in the shin so she hobbles around yelling AARRRR!
I'm sure the topic read 'jokes' not 'post your best pirate themed sexual violence and physical abuse moves' I agree with everything Barakkus posts. |
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