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Attrezzo Pox
Amarr Navy of Xoc Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:39:00 -
[1]
So my wife is on me about starting a family... I know the majority of you can't contemplate such an experience because lots of people who play eve either 1. don't know any girls (like me in college) or 2. are 20 something gamer types that don't have time for a family let alone are married or ready.
Once upon a time, I met a guy when I was with the privateers who's 9 year old played eve and mined for him. I thought Score! that's the way to go... Maybe it can be done. Right now I have a close friend who's wife is working on #2 and he's gone all emo and quit (again).
So, to those experienced eve players. Can one play eve, AND in fact, have a life and a family. This of course implies that you know the names of all your children, and you spend time with them not on the computer. IE they do their homework, or you play catch with them, etc.
Please try to include serious responses, though really funny ones are ok too.
*-------------------------* PoX IS Eve!!! BOOM!!! |
Lochmar Fiendhiem
Caldari International Multi-Player Consortium
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:41:00 -
[2]
is your friend chinese? If so call child services.
Originally by: Halkin bob is dead, goons are great, cheese is cheesy, there we go no need for any more threads
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Discrodia
Gallente Independent Miners Guild Guild Alliance
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:41:00 -
[3]
*Is happy he doesn't fall into either of the OP's catagories*
I think you can. You just can't 23/7 EVE like some people do. If nothing, else, it might be something to bring your family together, like a family activity... just putting out ideas ^_^
GL either way. ______________________________________________
Discrodia > SILENCE! I KILL YOU! Northern Fall > They're just sleepers disc... |
Attrezzo Pox
Amarr Navy of Xoc Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:46:00 -
[4]
Originally by: Discrodia *Is happy he doesn't fall into either of the OP's catagories*
I think you can. You just can't 23/7 EVE like some people do. If nothing, else, it might be something to bring your family together, like a family activity... just putting out ideas ^_^
GL either way.
Heh, I said "lots of people who play eve" not everyone.
It's ok, it's a man thing. heh ;-) *-------------------------* PoX IS Eve!!! BOOM!!! |
Attrezzo Pox
Amarr Navy of Xoc Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:47:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Lochmar Fiendhiem is your friend chinese? If so call child services.
Nah he was British, and awesome. If I'm able to keep playing I fully intend to allow my kids to mine for me if they wish. *-------------------------* PoX IS Eve!!! BOOM!!! |
Jonan Hannon
Gallente
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:49:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Attrezzo Pox
Originally by: Lochmar Fiendhiem is your friend chinese? If so call child services.
Nah he was British, and awesome. If I'm able to keep playing I fully intend to allow my kids to mine for me if they wish.
Go one further, get those damn kids running courier missions a lß biological macros :)
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Haakelen
Gallente The Scope
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:53:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Attrezzo Pox If I'm able to keep playing I fully intend to allow my kids to mine for me if they wish to eat.
fyp
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TimMc
Gallente Brutal Deliverance
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:53:00 -
[8]
Yes, but you will have to join a relaxed corporation that won't expect anything from you. You may be on call for kids or babies at any time, and you may need to take a week off eve. Alot of corporations won't put up with it, especially 0.0 ones.
But there is always a way to play eve that can incorporate your lifestyle. I've found pirate corporations are extremely laid back if you want PvP, although its not very profitable once you get banned from empire so alts are useful.
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MidnightMartyr
Gallente Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:53:00 -
[9]
I've got two. An 8 yearold and an infant, and to be quite honest I don't have much trouble playing. My wife and I just have certain agreements in place. One of us is always available to care for the kids while the other gets their game fix.
Though yes, there will be many times where you will need to drop whatever you're doing in order to tend to your child, which makes flying recons very appealing. Carefully plan your ingame actions and you should be fine.
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Sun Clausewitz
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Posted - 2009.04.08 15:58:00 -
[10]
I got one who will be 3 in June and a 2nd that is due in July. I work about 50 hrs/week and I can put in a 15~20 hours per week.
I'm never gonna be a trillionaire and I am sure no big alliance would want me. I get my isk off of manufacturing, and I get my pew-pew off of FW.
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Ana Vyr
DB - LJ Industries
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Posted - 2009.04.08 16:41:00 -
[11]
Define: "play eve".
I've got a wife and two kids myself and all that goes with that. Pretty much the best you can really do with regard to MMO's is play casually after the kids are in bed. During the day, it's very tough to play (for any length of time) because you get yanked off the computer all the time by said kids and wife (and really it's a bit irresponsible to be gaming when your kids could be benefitting from your time spent with them, IMO). This tends to curtail any group activities you could do in game during those hours.
I happen to be an insomniac to some degree, so I can get a decent stretch of time in late at night most nights, but most folks need more than 5 hours of sleep a day though.
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rodensteiner
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Posted - 2009.04.08 16:42:00 -
[12]
I got married a few months ago, and of course, don't play as much any more. I also have a new job that demands 50-60 hours a week, so of course, I play even less. Doesn't really bother me much, though.
Several of our corp members have RL girlfriends or wives/children, and they still manage to play quite a bit.
Also, my corp is headed by a husband/wife couple, works out quite well, although they don't have kids.
Honestly, talk to your significant other about it. Usually, some kind of agreement can be worked out. You just have to realize that family is in fact a priority (yes, more than important than EVE...crazy stuff, huh)
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Michelle Vega
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Posted - 2009.04.08 16:49:00 -
[13]
My almost 10 year old mines in one display and plays gta4 in the other. All I have to do is put food infront of him and ask him to take a 10 minute break every hour. Naturally he has to do his homework first and has to go to bed on time. Also he gets enough exercise at school and on weekends he has his friends over and do other stuff than play on computers, like playing on his ps3 and stuff like that. So it works out ok, and it does wonders for the marriage since you have more time to eachother and an electronic babysitter (so to speak).
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Adeline Grey
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Posted - 2009.04.08 16:54:00 -
[14]
I got married two years ago and now have a one year old baby. I still play Eve, but mainly only on the weekends, but sometimes I can squeeze an hour or two in after work or before bed. Having a family has definitely hurts my play time, and I won't see any benefit for at least another 4 or 5 years when I can have my little girl farm isk or mine for me while I at work.
P.S. - To whoever said you can't do it in a 0.0 corp, that is a load of crap. This isn't WoW. People disappear from Eve all the time and as long as they communicate with their corp that they won't be around for a week or whatever, or that they are busy in rl and won't be playing mcuh for the next period of time, then everything is generally fine.
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Dmian
Gallente Gallenterrorisme
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Posted - 2009.04.08 16:57:00 -
[15]
Originally by: Ana Vyr Define: "play eve".
I've got a wife and two kids myself and all that goes with that. Pretty much the best you can really do with regard to MMO's is play casually after the kids are in bed. During the day, it's very tough to play (for any length of time) because you get yanked off the computer all the time by said kids and wife (and really it's a bit irresponsible to be gaming when your kids could be benefitting from your time spent with them, IMO). This tends to curtail any group activities you could do in game during those hours.
I happen to be an insomniac to some degree, so I can get a decent stretch of time in late at night most nights, but most folks need more than 5 hours of sleep a day though.
Same thing here. I'm divorced and have custody of my 5 years old son. I play when he's asleep, usually sacrificing sleeping time. I can't commit to a real PvP corp, so I mostly do missions and I'm focused on the industrial side of the game. ----
Originally by: Anne M. Lindbergh There is no sin punished more implacably by nature than the sin of resistance to change
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Illectroculus Defined
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:16:00 -
[16]
Being able to play Eve is the least of your worries when having a family - and I'll tell you that kids are infinitely more rewarding and frustrating that EVE could ever be.
I've got 2 little ones, Skye is 4 and Orion is 2, and I can find time to play, but how I play depends on what kind of attention I can afford to give the game. So at one end I'm Ice Mining in a hulk in Hi-Sec or handling a lot of those 'boring' logistical operations that are necessary to maintaining a 0.0 alliance. At the other end of the scale I'm participating in PVP operations with a fleet. I can quite happily fly missions while reading my kids a bedtime story (although I sometimes have to let them push f1-8 for me).
Life in 0.0 is eminently possible with any number of distractions.
I recently won a lot of brownie points with my wife while participating in a corporate mining operation I was giving her a back massage.
Oh and I'd suggest that you setup your gaming system so you can play it one handed while standing and rocking a baby in your arms, because you'll find that with young kids you'll be getting up a lot in the middle of the night to comfort them, so you can squeeze in a bit of gametime, help the kid and again, win brownie points with the mother as you let her sleep.
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Mal Lokrano
Gallente Faulcon de Lazy
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:19:00 -
[17]
One of my close friends in Eve has a wife and 10 year old son, yet he plays more than I do . ____________________________________________ When going to a party with wine, women, and song. Always acertain the vintage of the first two. |
Rheed
We The People
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:21:00 -
[18]
It definatly changes everything... We've just recently had a daughter (she's 12 weeks old right now) so here's my normal weekday:
Pick up my daughter from the babysitter at 5:30 pm (wife drops her off in the am).
Get home at 5:45, change diapers and feed her the bottle (wife can't feed her a bottle, cus she won't take it from a lactating woman, and she has recently put some back and can't nurse). Play with her for a bit. Now it's 7:00pm.
Wife takes over and I get to play until 8:00 (unless it is my turn to make dinner then I don't really get to play).
8:00 Clean dishes/kitchen, sanitize bottles and get ready for bath.
8:30 bath time, and I have to help with the taking off of the clothes, drying off, diaper, lotion, sleeper, hand off to mom for feeding.
8:45 play EvE for a little bit, (which is just basically logging in and talking to people), chat with the wife, play with the baby if she's done eating, maybe change another diaper.
9:00, play with my daughter for a little bit and take her up to be swaddled and lay down for the evening
9:30 - 11:00 play EvE until bed time, 10:45 if sex is involved.
Weekends - I get to stay up a bit later ;)
----------------------------------- Look at me! I'm on the INTERNET!!! |
Sun Clausewitz
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:31:00 -
[19]
Be sure to name your kids after a ship or system so you can explain to them where their name came from in 10 years
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Vancali
Minmatar Black Moon Privateers
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:34:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Rheed 9:30 - 11:00 play EvE until bed time, 10:45 if sex is involved.
lol
I have been married for almost 4 years, have a 1 year old, and have been playing since launch. Before the kid it was no problem. My wife loves pogo.com for some reason. With the kid, most of that free time is gone, as it should be.
I love spending time with my daughter, and I love the game. But she is far more interesting (so is my wife I guess ). You will get to play EVE when they go to bed, just not as much as you would like. I was in a 0.0 alliance for ages. They all understand there is this mandatory thing called RL and aren't to bothered by the fact that you have to go at a moment's notice. If they don't understand, they are a load of single guys who don't have a life.
You can make this game work. Just consider it a hobby that you can enjoy whenever you get a chance. You won't be rolling in the Isk, but that is to be expected. Just train up for research agents, get manufacturing going, and you will be ok. _______________________________________ This sig took me 10 seconds to make. =p |
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Rheed
We The People
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:36:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Sun Clausewitz Be sure to name your kids after a ship or system so you can explain to them where their name came from in 10 years
hehe "Ishkur! Quit pulling Jita's hair or you will be sent to your room like Dominix!" ----------------------------------- Look at me! I'm on the INTERNET!!! |
Bklyn 1
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:38:00 -
[22]
2 kids here - 2 and 5 years old. I play after they go to bed generally, while my wife is watching her shows. Some nights I won't play and just hang with my wife. As long as I don't crack out and stay up till 2am too often it's no problem. Sometimes I play during the day on weekends or in the evening when the kids are playing with friends or whatever, but mostly they keep me busy. Sometimes I can even play while watching them (laptop ftw), but too often I have to stop to tend to them, so I don't do that too often.
Basically, it's not a problem. I don't play as much as I would if I was single and living alone, but kids are awesome. The little anarchists just have me laughing all the time. And when my little girl gives daddy a big hug, I just melt!
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Major Theef
Blueprint Haus Shadow of xXDEATHXx
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:43:00 -
[23]
Like a lot of others in this thread have pointed out, balancing the time requirements of Eve with real life responsibilities depends largely on who choose to play with.
Our corporation is made up entirely of 30+ year-old gamers. Therefore, most of us have families/kids/dogs/cats/jobs, etc. We live happily enough in 0.0, and while we're by no means an 'elite' organization, we have fun and get by. Babies crying/kids screaming/dogs barking is a constant source of amusement on vent...and "sorry guys, gotta log...domestic aggro" is never frowned upon.
Good luck to the OP on finding the right balance...it can be done. :)
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Da'iel Zehn
Construct Core Operations Construct Consortium
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Posted - 2009.04.08 17:57:00 -
[24]
It can be done, but time management is the real key.
I have been married for 9 years and I have a 6 year old. I play mainly when the wife and child are asleep usually 2 hours a night, thereby sacrificing sleep time. I work in a bit more time here and there and on the weekends some.
I spend time with the wife and child, work 40-50 hours a week, take care of everything at the house.
I have experienced wife aggro. And Eve did cause problems when I was ignoring my other responsibilities.
The important thing is to not let the game take over your RL. Do what needs to be done, spend time with your family. After all, Eve will one day be gone, and the family will still be there.
If I didn't have the family and a job I would probably be on 23/7, eating cake mix, drinking a 3 liter Dr. Pepper, and wearing depends.
--
DZ's website
Got a problem? Talk to my gun.
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5pinDizzy
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:03:00 -
[25]
What are these wife/girl items you speak of and how much isk do they cost?
if you disagree with me then you should probably post a response and stop reading my signature. |
Attrezzo Pox
Amarr Navy of Xoc Wildly Inappropriate.
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:12:00 -
[26]
Wow, some really good replies.
In review, it can be done... yey! I'm printing this to show my wife. She already agrees but at least this will give us a place to start when deciding a "middle ground".
What about scheduling? A particularly important op or money making run may require some pre-planning. Have any of you with kids been able to do that with any luck? What I'm thinking is that perhaps to mitigate not being there most of the time, instead I'm certainly there for a whole day/weekend or whatever is needed for a particular op maybe once every month or so. Does that work out with enough corpmates to make it even worthwhile to suggest?
I'm definitely going to get a better laptop, since they don't have classic graphics anymore I'll have to get one with a decent 3d card to play at all.
Also, how many of you do it as 'family time'. LAN parties are one of the most fun things you can do with buddies. My wife and I host one or two a year at the least. Does that mentality transfer well to a whole family? I'm not just talking eve here so does it work out for anyone to say "OK Billy, this Saturday your mom and I want to play *insert mmo here* do you want to invite some friends over?" I know there are some issues like said friend doesn't have the game or a computer, but has anyone ever done that successfully? *-------------------------* PoX IS Eve!!! BOOM!!! |
Zedrik Cayne
Gallente Suddenly Ninjas Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:23:00 -
[27]
Make sure you have a laptop that can run the game.. That way its an easy thing to do..wherever you end up in the house.
Setup your machine so you can sit at it one handed and play. As your other hand will be full of child for the first few months. There will be times when you will have spent a half hour trying to get the baby to sleep, and the only place they will want to sleep is on *you*. Which means you can get an hour or so in while they are passed out until they wake up with a dirty diaper or hungry again.
Your first few months will be a blur of:
1) Baby wakes up 2) Change baby 3) Feed baby 4) Put baby back to bed
Try to sleep when the baby does, but that is also the time you can squeeze game time in.
This will be an intersting time in eve, as you will be on at all sorts of odd hours, meeting all sorts of denizens from around the world whose prime-time you will be trespassing on. If you are an ore thief, you can select a special project corp to target. Striking whenever you are online. You can be their special nightmare. Same thing goes if you are market oriented. Your irregular schedule will allow you to out-play some of the market traders who tend to have a set of online hours.
When the baby starts to hit a regular schedule, this kind of goes away. Your play hours will be whatever you can squeeze in when you are home, after baby's gone to bed and after household chores..but before bedtime. Get your wife interested in pogo.com. That way you can both be messing on the computer doing something 'together-ish'.
And most of all...ctrl-q is perfectly acceptable any time if you're dealing with your child :) (PS: Babies like the new explosions more than the old ones...gatecamping with baby in the lap makes giggles) --
Remember: Carebears aren't people. They are giant flying piħatas.
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Kopesse
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:27:00 -
[28]
I'm 30 this month (sob) and I;
Work to pay the mortgage, Go to Uni, Have a wife and three young kids that i manage to spend time with.
I still have two accounts. The key as mentioned is no hardcore compulsory op type corps. I play any evening I'm free, manage 15 to 20 hours a week regular, sometimes more depending on RL commitments. Way back in the day, it wasn't unusual that I spent 16 hours in one sitting. That cant be done but you can still have a blast though.
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Vincent Gaines
Tau Online Explorator Corp
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:28:00 -
[29]
I have 3 kids, weekdays go:
6:00 come home, relax and eat 7:00-8:00 eve time 8:00-9:00 make sure kids stay the **** in bed (they never do) 9:00-10:30 eve time 10:30 bed/sex
weekends I have more time, and occasionally I have more time to spare to eve like wednesdays (kids go to evening church)
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Raimo
Gallente Wrath of Fenris
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Posted - 2009.04.08 18:29:00 -
[30]
Edited by: Raimo on 08/04/2009 18:29:46 Wife and 2 small kids here. Having a family definitely puts a dent in to the time available for gaming, but I can squeeze something in, usually taking it off my sleep after everybody is in bed... Also occasionally during the day when they're having a nap if I'm home(usually before DT for me)
And also there can be some hilarious incidents like ceptor dogfighting with a baby in your lap and the baby suddenly gets distressed... I won though, and calmed the baby down. Had the opponent known... :P
I've found PVP-centric FW pretty ideal for a family friendly PVP life btw. ---
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