Rade Aren
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Posted - 2008.10.05 15:44:00 -
[2]
most slaves were already evacuated ,
1 hour Unit Next Work Shiftàààà.we where on the last Transport , when I looked out of the shipÆs window I could see the minmatar fleet and the Orange Exhaust coming from there ship . suddenly I noticed the ship was slowing down badly ? æwhatÆs going onö I asked . A soldier next to be replied æwhere being webbedÆ . whatÆs that ? I asked . æTroubleÆ said the other soldier next to him ,a amarr Frigate on patrol suddenly decided to try take down the last unguarded Tranport the fleet Suddenly the lights started flickering , æ Great we are being NeutedÆ said the second soldier , I couldnÆt understand what they where talking about , maybe some day I would , Suddenly the Door ahead to me just sealed , æwhere taking hull damageÆ its sealing areas for damage control . just hope our part of the ship doesnÆt get hitÆ . æthere must be something we can do ?Æ I asked . æ I donÆt think so , if your not a captain or a part of the Crew thereÆs not much you can doÆ Then there was a Flash ,a light I looked outside the Amarr Frigate was in pieces , I could just barly see the minmatar Frigate speed by Then as the warp kicked in I looked at my brother and then the soldiers , æThatÆs fastÆ I hadnÆt seen a ship move so fast , æitÆs a clawÆ the soldier said he stood up patted me on the back and said æ you have a lot of catching up to doÆ and he walked out of the room I looked at my brother at least I wouldnÆt be alone , the Announcement Com clicked to Life , we will be reaching Minmatar Space in 20mins ,
, 20 mins to freedom I thought , 2 mins to a new life .and a lot to catch up onà
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Kimochi Rendar
Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.10.06 10:57:00 -
[4]
It's a good piece that shows promise, Pilot. A couple of things though...
You might want to get someone to proof read your work for you. There are quite a lot of grammatical errors in there that make it a bit jarring to read.
Also, you really should post this here instead. The IGS is for communication between Capsuleers, corporate announcements and such, and is not intended for written works.
Good luck!
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