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Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Istvaan Shogaatsu
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Posted - 2006.06.03 20:10:00 -
[361]
I haven't talked to Rich in a few days and I'm pretty sure the other guy hates me, so yeah, coincidence ;p
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Archbishop
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Posted - 2006.06.03 20:26:00 -
[362]
Bloody brilliant as always HG a really incredible read!!!!!! The pictures and graphics just add to the entire story. Truly you're writing ability is in a class by itself when it comes to EVE.
Archbishop
PIE WEBSITE & FORUMS PIE INFORMATION CENTER |
SpaceDrake Storyteller
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Posted - 2006.06.03 22:34:00 -
[363]
Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu I haven't talked to Rich in a few days and I'm pretty sure the other guy hates me, so yeah, coincidence ;p
I meant in the cosmic sense. We've both been waffling for a few months TBH and within twelve hours of each other we finally get our butts back in gear without even speaking to each other.
The Hand Guides. Or somesuch.
Also, I finally had a chance to read over the chapter.
Sweet Zombie Jesus. The cat has not only left the bag, but it has attached a rocket booster and is now somewhere in the stratosphere. I was expecting you to keep that one under wraps for a while (and as I said elsewhere, you wonder why Gauti may not be completely happy with you. ) Still, magnificent atmosphere, and it sets the wheels in motion for more awesomeness to come. I for one cannot wait. -------------- What good are actions if there's no one to tell the tale afterward?
Player of the character "Andre Ricard". |
Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.06.03 23:39:00 -
[364]
I just read the whole thing, and I love it.
Good work, Istvaan! -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
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Bruno Bonner
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Posted - 2006.06.04 04:53:00 -
[365]
Great work as always.
And as you often ask for constructive feedback, ill give my humble opinion in the only piece that seemed a bit odd.
"The infiltration of the Matari agent aboard the Ship".
Killing another matari to actually get inside the ships seems odd, if it was a gallente agent i would buy the idea of killing his own bloodline. However with minmatars it doesn't seem so plausible, or at least to me.
The act of actually killing his own blood should have had some minor consequences. Perhaps we will see this unfold in coming chapters.
Please keep them coming. Bruno
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aka BinderAJ |
Gaven Lok'ri
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Posted - 2006.06.04 05:00:00 -
[366]
Edited by: Gaven Lok''ri on 04/06/2006 04:59:58 Good read Istvaan.
Deus Vult! PIE Website |
Takitoo
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Posted - 2006.06.04 06:23:00 -
[367]
I really enjoyed it. Good Read. Write more.
... Nubcakes. ___________________________
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Kyoko Sakoda
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Posted - 2006.06.04 06:58:00 -
[368]
He writes plenty, quality > quantity... nub.
Seriously awesome work from start to finish. I could be an ass and nitpick but I'm not an English major. Is it just me or are the illustrations just getting better and better?
Learn what it means to be Caldari - www.omertasyndicate.com |
Hilion Narath
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Posted - 2006.06.04 09:12:00 -
[369]
Think they were done by 'Tajidan' . Least, I know the first one was. Good read! was.Linky
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Hilion Narath - Pilot |
Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.06.04 10:07:00 -
[370]
Originally by: Takitoo ... Nubcakes.
*sits back and waits for Takitoo's impending gruesome and excruciatingly painful death* -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
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Karunel
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Posted - 2006.06.04 13:00:00 -
[371]
Awesome ¦\o/¦
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Istvaan Shogaatsu
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Posted - 2006.06.04 17:18:00 -
[372]
Originally by: Bruno Bonner Great work as always.
And as you often ask for constructive feedback, ill give my humble opinion in the only piece that seemed a bit odd.
"The infiltration of the Matari agent aboard the Ship".
Killing another matari to actually get inside the ships seems odd, if it was a gallente agent i would buy the idea of killing his own bloodline. However with minmatars it doesn't seem so plausible, or at least to me.
The act of actually killing his own blood should have had some minor consequences. Perhaps we will see this unfold in coming chapters.
Please keep them coming. Bruno
I'd hafta disagree, for two reasons. The first being, we've seen countless examples of Republic Minmatar being fully willing to destroy a Bestower packed with five thousand slaves, just to get at the sole slaver-captain and his few dozen Amarr crew.
The second is, there's no Gallente slaves aboard the Chorus of Angels ;p
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Beringe
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Posted - 2006.06.04 22:27:00 -
[373]
\o/
I will read this first thing tomorrow, and leave some feedback... ------------------------------------------- "Never underestimate the power of language."
--Daitan Beringe, honorary director in charge of bottles-- |
Discorporation
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Posted - 2006.06.05 08:44:00 -
[374]
that was a good read :)
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SteppinRazor
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Posted - 2006.06.05 09:34:00 -
[375]
The first chapter of yet another master-piece by Istvaan Shogaatsu, what a excellent way to start a new week.
Can't wait until the next chapter.
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Hardin
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Posted - 2006.06.05 11:56:00 -
[376]
A good read but...
JAMYL SARUM IS DEAD
------------------------------ Hardin's Blog
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Tyrrax Thorrk
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Posted - 2006.06.05 17:41:00 -
[377]
Tsk, you should know better Hardin.
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Amial Starkiel
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Posted - 2006.06.06 21:14:00 -
[378]
Just read through the whole story arc, Istvaan, and I thought I'd try to give some more elaborate comments than just "it's great!".
First of all, I do really like it. Your writing style is clean and easy to follow with good grammar and story-telling techniques. I realise some of the happenings are tied in to in-game events, but I've tried to judge the text mostly on how it reads as a separate story, without knowing the background.
Your story-flow is swift and as a reader I have little dead time. To achieve a high pace when the characters are essentially only talking is an art and these parts are the ones I like the best -- the parts when the characters actually act. In this respect, the most "action filled" scene -- the ship battle scenes against the Tempest are really the least interesting for me. What lifts this scene is the bit about Istvaans show of sympathy for the dead slaves (character development) and the political aspects of relations to Jericho faction (although I do think the whole swift solution of the "misunderstanding" came about a bit too fast. A quick call was all that was needed for Jade Constantine to be convinced? An small story-arc about how operatives rushed to establish this "proof" in time would have made for a more plausible story I think).
Another really strong point of your text is your lifelike description of the millieus. My favourites are the gritty Gallente implant clinic and the slow walk and dialogue with the vista of cold Caldari skyscrapers in the background. For some critique, I found that the inner sanctum of the GH-SC seemed to vary a bit in exactly how secure it is. The Eve-sister coming to look for her leader is led straight through the base of operations where the results of a major heist operation is being celebrated -- that sounds amateurish and inconsistent to me. Another critique is that the names are quite complex, so it becomes difficult to separate them from another when you jump a lot between them. In some situations it would have been nice to have some more reminder than just the name. I had to flip back several time just to remember who the person was that the story now focused on. That said, you do a good job at separating personalities overall, and create distinct characters also when they don't have any bizarre body modications to make them stand out.
I like that he characters grow over time and that e.g. Istvaan grows from being a mysterious and unapproachable "X-files bad guy" (as is the impression I get in the first couple of chapters) into more of a human of flesh and blood with his own demons and good sides (as presented in the almost family-like structure of the close-knit Guided Hand Social Club) as time goes on.
I find it a great touch to have minor characters return through the chapters, like the Sebiestor bartender at the club (strangely enough I felt a character-character link there, bartender reminds me of Amial's personality somehow. Anyway). I find myself wishing more than ever that you could get out of your pod in game to actually spend 0.0001 ISK on a cup of tobacco-tea ...
As said, I really like the read; the story is compelling and professionally written. I hope to see more and from reading this I look forward to maybe meeting you in roleplay sometime.
/Amial
PS: on a side note -- what happened with the Gallente body-implant fetishist? Was he killed in the Amarr attack to reclaim the cross? I must also admit I feel I'm missing the finer parts of the endings of chapter seven, since I don't know who Jamyl Sarum is ... DS
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Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.06.06 22:03:00 -
[379]
The only thing you need to know about Jamyl Sarum is that she's dead.
As you can see, Istvaan is a very bad man -------- Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk [04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw [07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
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Tyrrax Thorrk
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Posted - 2006.06.06 23:03:00 -
[380]
Jamyl is the leader and Heir of House Sarum, she was supposed to commit suicide when the last Emperor was selected, but seeing as she didn't say the words of the suicide ritual, her troops crashed the ceremony shortly before she self-destructed her battleship, and she hasn't been replaced by anyone in the Sarum Family only a fool would believe she's actually dead.
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Uuve Savisaalo
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Posted - 2006.06.06 23:11:00 -
[381]
Originally by: Amial Starkiel Just read through the whole story arc, Istvaan, and I thought I'd try to give some more elaborate comments than just "it's great!".
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Another interesting fact is that yes, the events do very much correspond to reality.. if you'll look over the 'intergallactic summit' forum just now, you'll notice announcements about the angel cartel going to war..with sansha's nation. That said, all of us are real characters (and people) with our own established personalities. Its nice to sometimes find yourself featured in something like this :)
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Hamish
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Posted - 2006.06.24 03:09:00 -
[382]
I liked the old name of this thread better ¼_¼
The Hamish Saga |
Istvaan Shogaatsu
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Posted - 2006.07.05 01:35:00 -
[383]
Hamish is such a weird name. Like ham-ish. Akin to ham. Hamlike.
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Hori To
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Posted - 2006.07.11 12:33:00 -
[384]
thank you for an afternoon of good reading.
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Hellkyte
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Posted - 2006.07.14 07:59:00 -
[385]
This thread is 2 years old, wow. I guess I have to read this huh?
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Tyrrax Thorrk
Amarr
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Posted - 2006.07.28 03:10:00 -
[386]
it's a pretty awesome read |
Lautrec
LFC 3rd Front Alliance
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Posted - 2006.07.31 18:20:00 -
[387]
Since I have now read all of this it would be pretty rude not to take the time to say that it's pretty ******* awsome.
Thanks for taking the time to inspire others mate.
Signature file size to big, please keep it under 24000 bytes - Petwraith |
Zeraph Dregamon
Amarr Guiding Hand Social Club
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Posted - 2006.08.24 20:52:00 -
[388]
<3
GH-SC
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Ethidium Bromide
ZEALOT WARRIORS AGAINST TERRORISTS Curatores Veritatis Alliance
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Posted - 2006.08.28 12:00:00 -
[389]
just a little thought: maybe you could do a .pdf file for download of the complete Hamish saga? i'd really love to read it again but not on screen this time
Originally by: George Petsch Nochricht: Dei schwarer StroinlSser trifftn Karli[Baatzis] und ruiniert erm so richtig de Dosn, 1343.7 schhodn, oida.
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Zeraph Dregamon
Amarr Guiding Hand Social Club
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Posted - 2006.10.05 17:16:00 -
[390]
I don't think HG is gonna do that, but he'd probly welcome someone else taking it on
*wants more*
GH-SC
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