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Silver Night
Caldari Naqam
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Posted - 2008.02.18 05:00:00 -
[1]
Silver Night appears on the feed. He looks grim. His face is pale, with greasepaint. A cheerful smile is painted on, some smears showing an inexperience with face painting. His normal conservative suit is replaced with a single piece baggy clown costume, in bright clashing red, green and pink. There are fluffy buttons in lime green down the front. In, perhaps, a nod to the Sansha aesthetic, there are spikes sticking out of the shoulders and elbows. His pointed hat has a sky blue tassel at its apex. The red clown nose is slightly crooked, and blinks in an uncertain rhythm. He begins his announcement in a monotone, expression carefully schooled:
Today, in contravention of current standing orders and combat doctrine of Naqam I purchased two Battleships in Amarr, at the Emperor Family Station. I first engaged Feiyra of PIE, who was flying a Harbinger, in a Scorpion. I can make excuses about the setup, and I have other places. But suffice it to say that I was beaten, in a battleship, by a battlecrusier. Approximately forty minutes later, I engaged the same pilot, this time in an Armageddon. I was, again, defeated.
Silver continues to maintain a straight face and a monotone throughout. The paint is running slightly as his face breaks out in sweat.
I have failed myself, my ancestors, my Nation, my people and my corporation. Despite my incredible shame, I am not going to resign. While other corporations would execute or torture me for such an incredible failure, Naqam and the Nation are more forgiving. The price of my failure is merely that I learn from this astounding disaster, and my own humiliation.
But with Pod pilots, what kills us and what doesn't kill us both make us stronger. As my first experience with fighting other pod pilots in battleships, I hope I come away from this with knowledge at the least. And I can only hope that it makes me a better pilot for the Nation in the future. The ideals of the Nation continue to drive me to fight its enemies, and I can only hope with experience I can cure my current incredible ineptness.
Silver's expression becomes even more grim, as he continues in the same monotone. There is now a hint of embarrassment that must be verging on physical pain if you listen closely.
I will now enact the final part of my redemption. Let this be the most dire of warnings to other pilots. Do no cross the Nation, Naqam, or (especially) IzzyChan. The price will, I guarantee you, be higher than you ever wish to pay. After all, this is the result of merely losing two ships stupidly while in service to the Nation. Imagine the consequences for our enemies should Izzy catch you.
Silver Night clears his throat and begins, without inflection or much talent, to sing:
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet.
If you're happy and you know it, shout "Hurray!" If you're happy and you know it, shout "Hurray!" If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it If you're happy and you know it, shout "Hurray!"
If you're happy and you know it, do all three If you're happy and you know it, do all three If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it If you're happy and you know it, do all three.
As his last hurray fades, Silver's face is twisted in a rictus of acute mortification
Thank you for your time, and that is all. Long live the Nation. --------------
GLS Mr. State Caldari Patriot. Sansha's Nation Supporter Murderer of (his own) Frigates.
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Kyoko Sakoda
Caldari Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.02.18 05:05:00 -
[2]
I'm highly amused. Bravo.
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IzzyChan
Naqam
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Posted - 2008.02.18 05:07:00 -
[3]
The next time I'm sure you'll think twice before clowning around and losing a few ships for no real reason. You do need to work on your singing a bit, though. --------------------
Naqam |
Ezekiel Sulastin
Gallente Eve University Ivy League
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Posted - 2008.02.18 05:18:00 -
[4]
Anyone who has enough security in themself to actually perform such an act must either be A) a submissive crazy type or B) have such confidence in their abilities that they would use this as a tool to perform psychological warfare.
I'm leaning towards A; good job Silver. ---- WTB Armor Nerf Hardener II, 10^100 isk OBO |
Taes Valkiir
Caldari Ghost Festival
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Posted - 2008.02.18 06:16:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Silver Night After all, this is the result of merely losing two ships stupidly while in service to the Nation. Imagine the consequences for our enemies should Izzy catch you.
So. If we were to at some point, say, declare war, is there an outside shot that you'll try & make us do the hokey-pokey? Because that is so worth it.
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Shern
Minmatar Ammatar Trade Syndicate
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Posted - 2008.02.18 07:03:00 -
[6]
*smirks*. The Sansha are very clever. I *know* they must be evil, even if they don't..look it. They are sneaky, for sure. |
Laerise
Amarr PIE Inc. Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
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Posted - 2008.02.18 07:38:00 -
[7]
Singing and banging drums has never saved the savages, neither will it safe you cofeemachine.
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DeadRow
Naqam
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Posted - 2008.02.18 10:37:00 -
[8]
*Hikari smirks
Good show silver, took some balls.
Originally by: Taes Valkiir So. If we were to at some point, say, declare war, is there an outside shot that you'll try & make us do the hokey-pokey? Because that is so worth it.
There is only one way to find out
Quote: Iz in ur base, implanting ur dudes
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Tatsue Nuko
Stimulus The Star Fraction
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Posted - 2008.02.18 11:06:00 -
[9]
My my... I do believe there's a term for this, and it is "Cruel and Unusual Punishment".
To the listeners, not the offender, this time, tho...
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The Herrick
Gallente Bumsax United
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Posted - 2008.02.18 12:23:00 -
[10]
The Herrick is snickering uncontrollably like a moron.
Haha....ahhh man I found that way too funny. Hey imagine the show we'd get if he lost a capital ship, that'd be epic on so many levels.
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Yblarbo Janks
Caldari Veto. Veto Corp
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Posted - 2008.02.18 14:48:00 -
[11]
Runs in the room upon hearing singning, holding two polycarb rigs to avoid Concord
TAKE IT OFF!
Runs out upon hearing Concord down the hall coming for him
I shot a man in Mara, just to watch him Die.
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Elsebeth Rhiannon
Minmatar Gradient Electus Matari
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Posted - 2008.02.18 15:20:00 -
[12]
You have been wronged. Scorpions don't count as battleships.
Else
-- Help us defend the Republic; join Gradient today.
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Gaius Kador
PIE Inc.
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Posted - 2008.02.18 19:25:00 -
[13]
You heathens and your rituals...
That was unpleasant. ----------------------------------------------
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Andreus Ixiris
Gallente Heretic Logistics The Covenant Alliance
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Posted - 2008.02.18 20:28:00 -
[14]
Edited by: Andreus Ixiris on 18/02/2008 20:28:10
Originally by: Gaius Kador You heathens and your rituals...
That was unpleasant.
Gaius, for a man bearing the title of "Grand Inquisitor", and that title, in Amarrian culture, bearing connotations of association with those known for the colonic insertion of boiling tar, I assumed you'd be a little loathe to be playing with stones inside the confines of your glass space station. ----- "I am prepared to meet my maker; whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." |
Laerise
Amarr PIE Inc. Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
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Posted - 2008.02.18 20:34:00 -
[15]
And again the Gallentes hypocrisy shows, you are as annyoing as the chimps, but less entertaining.
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Mebrithiel Ju'wien
Veto. Veto Corp
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Posted - 2008.02.19 18:11:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Elsebeth Rhiannon You have been wronged. Scorpions don't count as battleships.
Oh! Ouch!
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