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Plasticine Perfection
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Posted - 2007.10.24 16:48:00 -
[1]
So I've been driving now for about 15 years, I've driven in the USA, France, Germany and the UK.
Out of all of those UK drivers are BY FAR the worst. Sure, French drivers get a bit impatient in cities, but all they do is honk their horns, they're not genuinely dangerous. And German drivers like to go fast on the autobahns but they give each other lots of space when they do it.
UK drivers are just a disgrace. Far too fast, all the time. Far too close, all the time. Stupidly aggressive. Pedal to the metal then slam the brakes on. Speed limits? Don't make me laugh! I sometimes think I am the ONLY person in this country who pays the slightest attention to speed limits. Every single day I have people razz up behind me, overtake like idiots when there's clearly not enough space to safely do so, at twice the speed limit and zoom off... only for me to catch up with them at the next set of traffic lights in 1 minute's time. Well done, that was worth it eh?
I'm not a slow, old codger driver. I drive in a brisk and businesslike fashion, but I let people out, I stick to the speed limits, I accelerate and brake smoothly (you know you can reduce your petrol consumption by like, 20% by doing this yeah?), I leave a reasonable gap between me and the car infront and I afford respect to ALL other users of the road - and that means pedestrians & cyclists too. Which makes me like, 1 in a 100 in the UK from what I can see.
Strange thing is, it didn't used to be like this. When I first learned to drive, in about 1992, it wasn't like that here. It's got so much worse over the last 15 years and I don't understand why. Have all the British men's willies shrunk for some reason so they all feel they have something to compensate for? *shrug*
And yeah, I know there's gonna be a bunch of Daily Mail reader type posts now whinging about speed cameras and claiming that speed limits are all wrong and that *they* can safely drive at 60mph in a 40 zone and how evil and thoughtless and stupid cyclists and pedestrians and old woman drivers are blah blah heard it all before, you're wrong ;)
*dons flameproof suit* :D
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Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 16:55:00 -
[2]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 17:04:38 edited for the usual pis por speling and atrosious granmar
It's basically overcompensation for small willies.
I myself have driven many hundreds of thousands of miles in assorted classes of vehicles, up to and including 44 ton articulated vehicles.
The more I drove, the smaller my old chap got.
I'm at the point now where my "outy" is in danger of becoming an "inny" and I find that I am having to get close to 120mph in side streets in order to compensate.
By the year 2012, the only people capable of making a vehicle fast enough to compensate for my rapidly dissapearing johnson, will be aircraft manafacturers.
I suspect I am not alone in this.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Mtthias Clemi
Gallente Infinitus Odium The Church.
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:03:00 -
[3]
Its because i like driving fast and you're in my way!!!!! --------------------------------------------
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! |
Motokko
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:09:00 -
[4]
Edited by: Motokko on 24/10/2007 17:11:57
Originally by: Jago Kain Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 17:04:38 edited for the usual pis por speling and atrosious granmar
It's basically overcompensation for small willies.
I myself have driven many hundreds of thousands of miles in assorted classes of vehicles, up to and including 44 ton articulated vehicles.
The more I drove, the smaller my old chap got.
I'm at the point now where my "outy" is in danger of becoming an "inny" and I find that I am having to get close to 120mph in side streets in order to compensate.
By the year 2012, the only people capable of making a vehicle fast enough to compensate for my rapidly dissapearing johnson, will be aircraft manafacturers.
I suspect I am not alone in this.
At least if their spam javelins are shrinking all the time to the point on non existance then within a couple of generations all wreckless drivers will become extinct due to the inability to reproduce and the roads will become safe again.
PS: Speaking of which I'd better quickly bottle and freeze some of my tadpoles since I'll be shortly taking my own driving test after putting it off for so many years.
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Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:18:00 -
[5]
Originally by: Motokko Edited by: Motokko on 24/10/2007 17:11:57
Originally by: Jago Kain Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 17:04:38 edited for the usual pis por speling and atrosious granmar
It's basically overcompensation for small willies.
I myself have driven many hundreds of thousands of miles in assorted classes of vehicles, up to and including 44 ton articulated vehicles.
The more I drove, the smaller my old chap got.
I'm at the point now where my "outy" is in danger of becoming an "inny" and I find that I am having to get close to 120mph in side streets in order to compensate.
By the year 2012, the only people capable of making a vehicle fast enough to compensate for my rapidly dissapearing johnson, will be aircraft manafacturers.
I suspect I am not alone in this.
At least if their spam javelins are shrinking all the time to the point on non existance then within a couple of generations all wreckless drivers will become extinct due to the inability to reproduce and the roads will become safe again.
PS: Speaking of which I'd better quickly bottle and freeze some of my tadpoles since I'll be shortly taking my own driving test after putting it off for so many years.
I would that this were true.
Alas, by the time Mr head-the-ball "custom" (read; blue led washer lights, big bore exhaust kit and skirt of wildly differing colour to car) Corsa owner has reached the age where his appendage can no longer be considered a viable threat, he has already sired 14 children on 14 different mothers, most of whom are ginger and from Gateshead (see Gateshead, deadhead, thread for details) and the damage is, regrettably, already done.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Plasticine Perfection
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:26:00 -
[6]
Rofl, I have to admit this was not the direction I anticipated this thread going :D
Maybe some research body should commission a study into the effect on plonker size of driving like a ****? I can see it now, police stopping drivers and brandishing a tape measure. I can almost hear Jeremy Clarkson spluttering alread :p
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Motokko
Minmatar
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:30:00 -
[7]
Edited by: Motokko on 24/10/2007 17:34:43
Sadly I fear this is true, even taking into account the new burberry brigade scooter bandwagon which has them racing around before they're allowed into cars which is starting their innevitable weeny shrinkage at even younger ages. Clearly action must be taken since this poisining of the gene pool is growing at an alarming rate. I propose the introduction of chav hunting liscenses, or perhaps instant justice speed cameras fitted with rocket launchers.
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Mtthias Clemi
Gallente Infinitus Odium The Church.
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:36:00 -
[8]
Jeremy Clarkson is so cool!! I love top gear. --------------------------------------------
THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIE! |
Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:39:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 17:45:44
Originally by: Motokko Edited by: Motokko on 24/10/2007 17:34:43
Sadly I fear this is true, even taking into account the new burberry brigade scooter bandwagon which has them racing around before they're allowed into cars which is starting their innevitable weeny shrinkage at even younger ages. Clearly action must be taken since this poisining of the gene pool is growing at an alarming rate. I propose the introduction of chav hunting liscenses, or perhaps instant justice speed cameras fitted with rocket launchers.
/signed... with some reservations.
When it comes to hunting, I'm more or less in agreeement with Ted Nugent; don't shoot anything unless you are going to eat it.
As my personal tastes don't run to eating scabby, incontinent, BO ridden, "loveable" scallies, I will not myself be applying for a license when common sense prevails and they become available.
However, I would encourage those with a stronger digestive tract and no taste buds to fill their boots, and indeed the freezer.
Go to it guys and make me proud.
edit:... and can you start with Mtthias Clemi please. The only to guy to do the obvious thing and head in the direction that the OP did anticipate.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:44:00 -
[10]
Yeah, pretty true. I've noticed bad drivers tend to fall in to two equally dangerous categories: firstly, idiot boy-racers who kit their Corsa's out like they're in Need For Speed, and have only a passing idea of how to handle a car at the speeds they like to whizz around, and secondly, "mature" people who insist on driving around without paying the blindest bit of attention to the road. Mums fussing over their toddler in the passenger seat, business men on a mobile phone in deep, animated conversation, teenage girls fussing with their makeup in the rear view mirror, etc.
Britain seems to have inhumane numbers of both. When I drive, I have very little faith in any other person on the road to NOT try and send me to an early grave... ------
Originally by: CCP Prism X There's no such thing as playing too much EvE! You all obviously need more accounts! |
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Micheal Dietrich
Cynical Cartel
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:45:00 -
[11]
We're pretty bad in Idaho too. Nothing like trailing someone for 3 miles with their right blinker on then BAM, sudden left turn out of nowhere.
Yesterday I was going home and stopped to give some guy a chance in hell of leaving the shopping center and out of nowhere a suburban whips right in front of me blocking the poor fellow. We both gave the suburbanite the bird.
The first snow of the season is coming up and naturally 70% of the population is going to hit stupid mode that day.
The kids are always speeding around here. Half of them don't even bother checking their mirrors.
About a decade ago I got revenge on one jackass atleast. I was passing through a green light and the dip**** doesn't even stops, just flies right in front of me sending me into opposing traffic. To show how ****ed I was I got right on his bumper. He thought he'd be cute and slow down to 5mph causing traffic to back up. I would move over so the drivers behind could see who was causing this. 3 blocks later I finally had it when he started doing the raise the roof motion and I flipped the truck into 4 wheel drive and rammed him off the road. Guess he thought a volkswagon rabbit could match the power of a midsize truck. I received honks, cheers, and applauds from the drivers behind me and I felt good even though I got my license suspended for 3 years.
___________________________
Never Forget, Never Forgive |
Patch86
Di-Tron Heavy Industries Atlas Alliance
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:50:00 -
[12]
Originally by: Micheal Dietrich
About a decade ago I got revenge on one jackass atleast. I was passing through a green light and the dip**** doesn't even stops, just flies right in front of me sending me into opposing traffic. To show how ****ed I was I got right on his bumper. He thought he'd be cute and slow down to 5mph causing traffic to back up. I would move over so the drivers behind could see who was causing this. 3 blocks later I finally had it when he started doing the raise the roof motion and I flipped the truck into 4 wheel drive and rammed him off the road. Guess he thought a volkswagon rabbit could match the power of a midsize truck. I received honks, cheers, and applauds from the drivers behind me and I felt good even though I got my license suspended for 3 years.
That, sir, is pure refined Grade-A win. ------
Originally by: CCP Prism X There's no such thing as playing too much EvE! You all obviously need more accounts! |
Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 17:51:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 17:51:51
Originally by: Micheal Dietrich About a decade ago I got revenge on one jackass atleast. I was passing through a green light and the dip**** doesn't even stops, just flies right in front of me sending me into opposing traffic. To show how ****ed I was I got right on his bumper. He thought he'd be cute and slow down to 5mph causing traffic to back up. I would move over so the drivers behind could see who was causing this. 3 blocks later I finally had it when he started doing the raise the roof motion and I flipped the truck into 4 wheel drive and rammed him off the road. Guess he thought a volkswagon rabbit could match the power of a midsize truck. I received honks, cheers, and applauds from the drivers behind me and I felt good even though I got my license suspended for 3 years.
I changed my mind.
PULL!!!!
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Unvisibility
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Posted - 2007.10.24 19:30:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Jago Kain I changed my mind.
PULL!!!!
Dude! You just pulled!
Hahahaha.
*gets coat*
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Cipher7
OldBastardsPub SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2007.10.24 19:50:00 -
[15]
What we need is a nice plague to thin the population.
A good start would be to remove warning labels.
Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
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Dei
Amarr Khanid Aerospace Group Khanid Provincial Authority
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Posted - 2007.10.24 20:05:00 -
[16]
I hate those guys that go in the right hand lane to go right, then go straight on and cut you up. But people do drive very close behind you, even I do because you're not doing the speed limit!
And if you are actually doing the speed limit then you're in my way!
I've only recently become a daily commuter and it hit me a few weeks back that the only reason that I'm going to die is if I make a very stupid mistake, or another driver is going to act like an idiot and plough straight into me. Those bastards. ---
The true master paralyses his opponent, leaving him vulnerable to attack |
Unvisibility
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Posted - 2007.10.24 20:07:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Cipher7
What we need is a nice plague to thin the population.
Funnily enough I'm watching 28 Weeks Later right now. Doesn't seem all that nice tbfh... think I'd rather have bad drivers :D
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MassonA
Caldari coracao ardente Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.10.24 20:19:00 -
[18]
it is most definately the chavs
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Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 20:30:00 -
[19]
Originally by: Cipher7 Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
Nice to see that the USA has made a decent head start in this area.
We could all learn from their example.
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Micheal Dietrich
Cynical Cartel
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Posted - 2007.10.24 20:34:00 -
[20]
Originally by: Jago Kain
Originally by: Cipher7 Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
Nice to see that the USA has made a decent head start in this area.
We could all learn from their example.
What paper are you reading!?
I sure as hell haven't seen any cops blasting people for failing to use a turn signal and the day I do I'll take up walking.
___________________________
Never Forget, Never Forgive |
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Cipher7
OldBastardsPub SMASH Alliance
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Posted - 2007.10.24 21:02:00 -
[21]
Originally by: Jago Kain
Originally by: Cipher7 Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
Nice to see that the USA has made a decent head start in this area.
We could all learn from their example.
One could only wish this were true.
Sadly people still have "rights" here.
I've always wished the police would gun down protesters. Any kind of "rights" protester will do. Animal rights, ghey rights, womens rights, anything with the word "rights" in it, gun em down kill em all.
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Jago Kain
Amarr Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.10.24 23:04:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Cipher7
Originally by: Jago Kain
Originally by: Cipher7 Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
Nice to see that the USA has made a decent head start in this area.
We could all learn from their example.
One could only wish this were true.
Sadly people still have "rights" here.
I've always wished the police would gun down protesters. Any kind of "rights" protester will do. Animal rights, ghey rights, womens rights, anything with the word "rights" in it, gun em down kill em all.
Second amendment rights?
___________________________________________________ The game will never be over, because we're keeping the meme alive. |
Ravelin Eb
Endgame.
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Posted - 2007.10.24 23:29:00 -
[23]
Just keep under 110mph, i find after that you might get stopped.
Signature Your signature exceeds the 400 pixel width limit allowed on the forums. -Darth Patches |
ReaperOfSly
Gallente Lyrus Associates M. PIRE
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Posted - 2007.10.24 23:59:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Cipher7
Originally by: Jago Kain
Originally by: Cipher7 Maybe do away with the concept of "human rights" for a few centuries and have the police just start executing people for minor traffic infractions.
Nice to see that the USA has made a decent head start in this area.
We could all learn from their example.
One could only wish this were true.
Sadly people still have "rights" here.
I've always wished the police would gun down protesters. Any kind of "rights" protester will do. Animal rights, ghey rights, womens rights, anything with the word "rights" in it, gun em down kill em all.
Dude. Be careful what you wish for. --------------------------------------------------------------------
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benzss
The Increment Retribution.
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Posted - 2007.10.25 01:34:00 -
[25]
Now now, I live in London and there's not a chance the driving here is as bad as Paris. 'all they do is honk their horns'? lmao, they rarely pay attention to red lights.
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Lithalnas
Amarr Headcrabs
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Posted - 2007.10.25 02:33:00 -
[26]
Well i drive a signifigant amount each day, about 4 hours in the car a day. I commute from the east bay to San Jose every day down the 3rd worst freeway in the nation 880.
If your stuck in traffic, think of it this way, you will get there when you get there, in the meantime, put on an audio book, turn up the music and let everyone else raise their blood pressure being stuck in traffic with me.
I am zen driver. -------------
fixed for greater eve content |
Sharupak
Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three
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Posted - 2007.10.25 02:45:00 -
[27]
Edited by: Sharupak on 25/10/2007 02:53:32
Originally by: Jago Kain Edited by: Jago Kain on 24/10/2007 23:15:45
Originally by: Cipher7 I've always wished the police would gun down protesters. Any kind of "rights" protester will do. Animal rights, ghey rights, womens rights, anything with the word "rights" in it, gun em down kill em all.
Second amendment rights?
LOL damn that was where I was gonna go...and the reason cops dont blast people for traffic violations. Its probably about 1 in 5 because everyone in america knows that one guy that would love an excuse to shoot a cop!
Damn michael, I didnt know they were that bad in idaho! I have driven in several states...believe it or not, California is not that bad...yeah the drive fast, but everyone drives fast so its not a big deal. The once in a blue moon slow driver is like some token novelty that chicks look at and goe "Is that guy doing the speed limit awww that is so cuuuutee! Even the mexicans take pictures flying by at 90mph
Rural Virginia is the king of rolling roadblocks (God I hate religeous old people that think its their job to ensure everyone is following the road rules!). These people have no clue how to drive in the snow (lady, put the goddamn car in 3rd gear get some traction and pull out into the intersection!)and its always the 4x4 duelly in the ditch because dumb****s forget that breaks are the same no matter what you drive.
Pennsylvania...Full of drivers so old, so blind, and reflexes so slow! It is not uncommon to see them trying to make a left out of a parking lot onto a 4 lane blvd and get high centered on a 1 foot tall concrete center divider. When I first moved up here, I was stupified with disbelief that these people had drivers licenses. It would make the roads alot safer here if they hired autistic kids to schaufer them around.
But the cake taker is Boston. Many of the big name insurance companies WILL NOT SELL CAR INSURANCE TO PEOPLE IN BOSTON. I went to a short tech school up there and found out immediately why when the Enterprise airport shuttle that picked me up was doing somewhere inbetween 55 and 60mph through an alleyway (It was a wide alleyway but still I could see the speedo, but couldnt mark the exact speed) _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude. |
Sharupak
Minmatar Knights Of the Black Sun Rule of Three
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Posted - 2007.10.25 02:50:00 -
[28]
Oh yeah
why is it that people always say the do the speed limit when we know your not, the statistics say otherwise! _______________________________________________ RuntimeError: ChainEvent is blocking by design, but you're block trapped. You have'll have to find some alternative means to do Your Thing, dude. |
Haerana
The Republican Guard Zenith Affinity
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Posted - 2007.10.25 03:47:00 -
[29]
i go faster than the speed limit usually. but it depends where it is. i never go ridiculously fast imo. doing 70 in a 50 area where its a big ass road through farm country where you can see far ahead of you imo isnt exactley dangerous. i do slow down when i get to the villages to. The drivers that **** me off the most is by far the 40mph'rs. They are everywhere. especially the old people around me. 40 in 30zones 40 in 50 and 60zones. 40 40 40.... i honestly dont get it.
Originally by: CCP Abraxas Her boyfriend's way hot, too; tall and tanned. And I say this as a very hetero male who doesn't ever dream of the man on cold, dark nights.
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Micheal Dietrich
Cynical Cartel
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Posted - 2007.10.25 04:07:00 -
[30]
I think Idaho is bad because we have fewer drivers. Fewer drivers allows for faster driving and less experience on the brakes.
I refuse to get on the freeway unless I have no alternative or I get off at the next exit. People on there go 80-90mph bumper to bumper until some idiot decides to do a brake test. Guess we have alot of nascar fans in these parts. And since everyone lives in Nampa, Meridian, or Caldwell and they work in Boise that means standstill traffic at 8am and 6pm. Luckily I go North when they go East.
And from I understand insurance is more in some of the bigger cities so people tend to be more attentive than here granted Idaho drivers even have insurance half the time.
___________________________
Never Forget, Never Forgive |
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