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James 315
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp
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Posted - 2007.07.01 16:52:00 -
[1]
In the days when BoB won wars, we were usually treated to a Sunday report by someone of high rank in the BoB organization. Those days may be past, but as in all things, YACAODI1MAC steps forward to fill the void.
Emphasis on the 'objective' analysis. I realize that with any CAOD post there is the potential for propaganda and spin, but you won't find any of that in this thread (not in my posts, at least). Some people say that I am biased against BoB, while others say I'm a BoB alt. Since I take heat from extremists on both sides, I'd say that puts me pretty squarely in the middle. Not a bad place to be when you're trying to craft an objective situation report.
So let's talk. What happened in June? Who advanced, who fell back, etc.
We begin by examining the situation at the very end of May. The biggest dramabombs to hit Eve included the resignation of two of Goonfleet's top men, Remedial and The Mittani, almost back-to-back. At the same time, a "State of the Goonion" was issued by the outgoing Mittani that revealed a bold new mission statement: the Goons are withdrawing from Teneferis and heading back to Scalding Pass. BoB licked its chops as it prepared to devour yet another region. Meanwhile, MC was putting the finishing touches on the Northern Coalition and seemed poised to dominate the north for BoB.
In short, things looked very bleak for the Coalition at the end of May. Then June happened.
On the heels of their victories in the east, BoB made the obvious plan: Omist would be rented to new pets, Teneferis would be quickly occupied as Goonfleet withdrew, and by mid-June, the stage should be set for an all-out assault on the RedSwarm homeland. MC promised BoB that by this point, they would wrap-up operations in the north and D2 would be dead. By July, BoB would have established beachheads in Scalding Pass and Detorid, and MC could join them for the finishing touches in the following weeks. By the end of July all of Eve would be under BoB control and they could celebrate with some barbecue in Denmark.
MC was on schedule. But BoB proved to be, well, a little sluggish. Even though Goonfleet was evacuating Teneferis and merely performing a fighting withdrawal to allow its people time to move, BoB couldn't conquer the region. Despite all of its invincible titans, POS-filled haulers and momentum from May, BoB failed miserably. Worse than being bogged down in a Goon quagmire was the fact that BoB was completely overshadowed by MC. BoB was no longer considered the best PvP alliance in Eve.
A morale boost was in order. BoB declared war against Xelas, which had loyally fought for BoB against both ASCN and D2 and built BoB outposts. In response, Xelas cowered and caved like no alliance before. A few words from SirMolle destroyed their thousand-man alliance instantly. BoB basked in its victory, but it was bittersweet. Had BoB fallen so far that the only way to win was to backstab its own carebears?
But things only got worse for BoB. Previously, a highly intelligent Goon analyst wrote a 15,000 word essay on why titans needed to be nerfed. Then disaster struck: CCP actually read the essay. After taking a patriotic Memorial Day holiday, CCP kicked Iceland into overdrive and created Revelations II. The effect of the titan nerf was immediate. Fleet battles could take place again. Goons could swarm again. And the Russians had been roused from their slumber and decided to take it to BoB. Within days of the nerf, a fleet of Goons had trapped SirMolle's own titan and began pummeling it to death. Red brought in dreads, doubling the size of the local capital fleet. And to the sound of a hundred howling Goons, SirMolle's pride and joy was destroyed.
It was almost the end of June--nearly a year to the day since BoB had declared there would be no more Goons. And yet there they all were, beating BoB at its own game. The Goons were supposed to have been destroyed, banished from Eve forever.
(cont.) |
James 315
Yet Another CAOD-Inspired 1-Man Alt Corp
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Posted - 2007.07.01 16:52:00 -
[2]
Instead, the Goons had outsmarted and destroyed the BoB fleet. The last thing SirMolle saw as his clone left the system was his own alliance's motherships running away in fear, allowing their leader be torn to bits by ravenous Goons. And in the days that followed, BoB continued to lose ground, retreating from the systems it had taken for granted would be BoB's forever.
As the month of June ended, BoB's enemies were everywhere on the march. SirMolle's repeated pleas for help from the MC resulted in MC's premature move southward. The result was a loss of BoB prestige and influence in the north, which became increasingly a non-aligned third power of Eve--a region aware that BoB had its hands full and was in no position to dictate to them.
BoB's morale sunk to its lowest point since SirMolle's rousing "everyone else is already dead" speech. BoB had lost everything: its momentum, its systems, its titan, its sense of purpose and, worst of all, its prestige in the Eve community. Outspoken BoB pilots demanded that its leadership admit their failures and change course.
In searching for an expert on all issues CAO, I was privileged to speak to a guy with an upper-class British accent:
"The destruction of the BoB titan was the battle of F-TE unfolding in reverse. Just as F-TE became a turning point in the war, the loss of Shrike's titan may serve as a counterpoint. It is notable that the destruction did not require engaging BoB in a full-scale fleet battle, and it is also notable that the goons contributed the majority of the fleet operations--including half of the capital firepower.
"As you say, the howls. But they were not howls of anger, hunger, or even of satisfaction. They were howls without emotion or human consciousness, like the howls of a wolf who performs his task in the wilderness because it is his nature. The goon, Romulus and Remus ad infinitum, suckled on the teat of the she-wolf Remedial; these goons when still babes, almost strangled by BoB in their cradles; these goons when children, making a snack of Shrike's titan; these goons when full-grown, devour the world.
"James, I wish to remind you that all successful entities are bonded by a unique glue. For Red Alliance, Russian; for TCF, French; for GoonSwarm, being goons. But pilots come to the Band of Brothers from all over for one reason: to win, every time. The purpose of BoB is to win an unbroken string of victories. To never persevere through loss or hardship, to never risk a real defeat. To play a game that, due to the advantages fair or no, they cannot lose. To ask the Band of Brothers pilot to place his assets at a real risk of destruction again and again is anathema. To ask a pilot of Evolution who has given all of his assets to SirMolle in exchange for the promise of victory to then part with guaranteed success would be like asking the goon to be civilized, or to ask the Russian pilot to speak Swahili.
"Thus, for BoB, a loss is more than a mere deprivation of his lost assets for a time. When BoB loses a battle, it is nothing less than an identity crisis, for in that loss of a battle he loses his purpose and the reason for BoB's very existence. Were a power to rise such that BoB could not be guaranteed victory, BoB would slowly disappear. Those who placed all of their belongings in SirMolle's hands and who did not receive their certain victories would consider themselves cheated, the victims of Evolution."
Wow, how profound!
In the end, June was a complete disaster for BoB and a huge victory for its enemies (except arch-foe Xelas). And that, my friends, is an objective and well-researched conclusion with which we can all agree.
- 315
----------------------------------------------- The views expressed in my posts are my own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of my corporation. |
Mad Mackem
E X O D U S
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Posted - 2007.07.01 16:56:00 -
[3]
End yourself
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Vily
Eternity INC. Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.07.01 16:58:00 -
[4]
The whole MC southward part could use some actual research. -
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Yazoul Samaiel
Caldari Black Nova Corp Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:02:00 -
[5]
Originally by: James 315
Some people say that I am biased against BoB, while others say I'm a BoB alt. Since I take heat from extremists on both sides, I'd say that puts me pretty squarely in the middle. Not a bad place to be when you're trying to craft an objective situation report.
Eve community except you says " we couldnt give a rat's ass what a coward alt has to say or think" .
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Traxio Nacho
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Mercenary Coalition
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:03:00 -
[6]
Originally by: Mad Mackem End yourself
Don't normally hear me agreeing with IRON but got to here
How's your war on BNCE going? lol
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Drazhar Kain
Alpha Production Technologies Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:04:00 -
[7]
Originally by: Vily The whole MC southward part could use some actual research.
But why use research when you have pure speculation?
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Zak Kingsman
A.W.M Ka-Tet
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:04:00 -
[8]
No, it was biased as hell but I did at least get a snicker out of this:
In searching for an expert on all issues CAO, I was privileged to speak to a guy with an upper-class British accent:
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Comstr
Technology Acquisition Collective Interstellar Alcohol Conglomerate
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:07:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Comstr on 01/07/2007 17:07:47 An incisive and intelligent stratagic analysis. Though I don't think BoB has lost much yet, I do think they're going to try and get out of the goon-made quagmire and hit somewhere else. Problem will be, the goon's probably won't stay home (though I think RA will) even if BoB declares victory and goes somewhere else.
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DeWieKat
Rage and Terror Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:12:00 -
[10]
Edited by: DeWieKat on 01/07/2007 17:12:07 interesting...
added: and entertaining as well ;)
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Wigglytuff
Vale Heavy Industries Molotov Coalition
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:18:00 -
[11]
I look forward to the day CCP finally decides to ban trash alts from CAOD.
Belt piracy isnt what it used to be. |
Bren MacKay
Shadows of the Dead Aftermath Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:27:00 -
[12]
Lol when you start off a post talking about how fair and unbiased you are its usually best to keep it fair and unbiased through the rest - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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McDan
Reikoku Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:31:00 -
[13]
In my unbiased opinion you are an idiot. The reason coalition members think you may be a bob alt is because you make them look bad. I don't think you are a bob alt, i just think you are stupid.
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Sorja
E X O D U S Imperial Republic Of the North
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:31:00 -
[14]
I love every single one of your posts James, keep them coming ____________________ A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipe, but who does not. |
JabJabVVV
Reikoku Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:33:00 -
[15]
Well I have to confess after reading that I feel a bit of a fool: here was me thinking that this would be yet another bitter yet humorously ill informed alt post that failed completely to live up to it's title - how wrong I was... oh, wait. ----------- When I was a n00b, I spake as a n00b, I understood as a n00b, I thought as a n00b: but when I became pr0, I put away n00bish things. |
fire 59
Destructive Influence Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:35:00 -
[16]
Edited by: fire 59 on 01/07/2007 17:39:53 Edit - Why am i even bothering to reply to a troll
Currently training forum ***** resistance L5 |
The Tumaril
Reikoku Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:37:00 -
[17]
Man! You are so right! BoB moral is horrible!! We've been reduced to mining veldspar in Delve and have cried ourselves to sleep everynight since 1 of our titans went down :( This OP inspires me to give up and declare Goons victorious. I shall be giving all of my belongings to RaSatan and quiting EvE on Monday. Sig removed. If you would like further details please mail [email protected] |
Torshin
Prophets Of a Damned Universe
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:40:00 -
[18]
what?
Offical Tardz Poo-litical Anal-yst Backdoor Bandit - Unofficial leader of the new 'Post with your main or STFU' campaign. |
Torshin
Prophets Of a Damned Universe
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:41:00 -
[19]
oh ya and IBTL as this should be considered pure flame bait. so mods Clicky Clicky
Offical Tardz Poo-litical Anal-yst Backdoor Bandit - Unofficial leader of the new 'Post with your main or STFU' campaign. |
Ling Xiao
Prism Project Technologies
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:43:00 -
[20]
Originally by: James 315 Emphasis on the 'objective' analysis. I realize that with any CAOD post there is the potential for propaganda and spin, but you won't find any of that in this thread (not in my posts, at least).
__________
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LUKEC
Destructive Influence Band of Brothers
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:44:00 -
[21]
I'm back to stealing veld in yulai.
-------- I tanked D2 capital fleet and all I got was truncated Erebus mail.
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Brolie
Sarcastrophic Industries
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:46:00 -
[22]
Edited by: Brolie on 01/07/2007 17:45:49
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scabbsssjr
Gallente M'8'S Frontal Impact
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:49:00 -
[23]
the urge to flame is rising ---------------------------
Originally by: Ductoris At this rate I'm going to ask for a BOB sub-forum.
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AccessHollywood
Inquiring Minds
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:53:00 -
[24]
I often read the editorials of other reporters to better my own skills.
While I applaud the effort, i felt that the article leaned towards one side. I also struggled with your examples of an earth born creature like the wolf. Fortunately my education included the lesser beasts of this planet, but I fear that few of your readers would relate. Perhaps it would have worked best if using something commonly known as the Aridian Halzoes or the Jitian Marmelone's ghostly moans.
Fewer personal views and more names of your sources would bolster your writings and might make it to page 3.
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Roger Arko
Geddonites
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:55:00 -
[25]
Hello Queen News. We missed you.
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Homer Greyt
H.Y.D.R.A. GoonSwarm
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Posted - 2007.07.01 17:56:00 -
[26]
I'm surprised. ________ Let's dance! |
Saidor
The Littlest Hobos Betrayal Under Mayhem
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Posted - 2007.07.01 18:02:00 -
[27]
Lol - obviously its biased - its in the text.
While I'll not comment on supposed facts, look at how the events are described. Facts may be real, for example battles won or lost, ships destroyed, people killed. But many of the descriptors are subjective - they show an clear bias ;-)
I'll not be biased by suggestion a direction of the bias but merely draw the readers attention to the tricks used.
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Takahashi Arran
coracao ardente Triumvirate.
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Posted - 2007.07.01 18:11:00 -
[28]
7/10 because you seems sincere
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The Hooch
Minmatar Privateers Privateer Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.01 18:13:00 -
[29]
James, one of the best reads I have ever had at Eve, <claps> Well spoken. <surrenders BoB Fanboi belt to James>
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Grimpak
Gallente Trinity Nova KIA Alliance
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Posted - 2007.07.01 18:19:00 -
[30]
DUDE!!.....
......wait what? ---
truth about EVE: Originally by: Cpt Branko "Guns are fine, boost players"
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