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Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Malicious Mission Murderers
11
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Posted - 2012.03.21 07:29:00 -
[151] - Quote
Wish granted. Since you wished for nothing, to nothingness you return. In an attempt to generate zero point energy, someone on the other side opens a bridge to your universe, thus bombarding it with entropy particles. To get them to stop, you teleport yourself through, only to discover the person on the other side is you, so you are sent back, but halfway through the journey that bridge colllapses, and thus you cease to exist.
I wish I was a member of CONCORD. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Kiroma Halandri
Malicious Mission Murderers
14
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Posted - 2012.03.23 17:40:00 -
[152] - Quote
Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
God's Apples
Space Boats 'N Hoes
3
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Posted - 2012.03.24 00:34:00 -
[153] - Quote
Kiroma Halandri wrote:Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid.
You get a cat.
I wish to catch them all. |
Zaenis Desef
Crimson Nation En Garde
0
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Posted - 2012.03.25 05:32:00 -
[154] - Quote
God's Apples wrote:Kiroma Halandri wrote:Wish granted. You have to do 100 Body Cavity searches a day, and you get one of the ****** frigates.
I wish for a dog that wasn't stupid. You get a cat. I wish to catch them all.
Granted, you now have every STD known to man...
I wish Masters of the Universe wasn't such a terrible movie |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
116
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Posted - 2012.04.02 00:21:00 -
[155] - Quote
Wish granted. The movie will get remade in 50 years, but it is 4 hours long it it will cost $500 per ticket. It will be worth it, however because it will be the best movie in existence, with ultra-photo-realistic special effects and it will play at 4k resolutions with 8.8 surround sound. In addition, you get a free copy of the movie on a Holigraphic Versatile Disc upon watching it from beginning to end on the big screen.
To reiterate on my corruption, it costs $500 per ticket, it will take 50 years, and a HVD player costs $15,000 This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Malicious Mission Murderers
14
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Posted - 2012.04.03 04:11:00 -
[156] - Quote
Wish granted. Since you forgot to make a wish, I shall wish for you.
I wish for Hybrid Weapons to not suck. Who would like to buy a melon?Madame, would you like to buy a--...oh. I see you've already got some.Who would like to buy a melon? |
Kiroma Halandri
Malicious Mission Murderers
15
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Posted - 2012.04.03 22:33:00 -
[157] - Quote
Wish granted. Too bad you were training for missiles instead.
I wish for a beer-powered robot.
I'm not Anti-Social,I just don't like you. |
killroy v2
Mission Creep
2
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Posted - 2012.04.04 00:02:00 -
[158] - Quote
wish granted,, but it drinks all of the beer in the world I...can't think of anything 2 wish for :( |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
253
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Posted - 2012.04.09 19:53:00 -
[159] - Quote
Through your lack of wishes, you have conquered Desire, one of the primary sources of Earthly suffering. You must now conquer Ignorance, or you will remain forever in an odd state of semi-Enlightenment.
I wish I had a case of Bass Ale. |
Culmen
Culmenation
5
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Posted - 2012.04.10 06:18:00 -
[160] - Quote
Granted, It's a grizzly bear high on meth. What little remains after you are crushed by the hug gets mauled, then eaten.
I wish for a pony! |
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Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
253
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Posted - 2012.04.10 18:12:00 -
[161] - Quote
It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story. |
Mister LEM0NS
SWARTA Mostly Clueless
1
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Posted - 2012.04.10 23:25:00 -
[162] - Quote
Telegram Sam wrote:It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story.
The pony is now dead, wish granted.
Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards. |
Culmen
Culmenation
7
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Posted - 2012.04.12 15:24:00 -
[163] - Quote
Mister LEM0NS wrote:Telegram Sam wrote:It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story. The pony is now dead, wish granted. Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards.
Granted, wargaming moves World of Tanks forward by adding in a new races the Orks and the Gnomes, also magic and infantry combat. Then they announce they got bought out by blizzard.
I wish you would not grant me this wish. There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
Amaroq Dricaldari
Malicious Mission Murderers
116
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Posted - 2012.04.17 04:40:00 -
[164] - Quote
Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.
Beginning Round 3 now.
I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one) This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine. |
Hya Bam
It's Hammer Time
5
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Posted - 2012.04.30 23:35:00 -
[165] - Quote
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.
Beginning Round 3 now.
I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one) Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.
I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back. Is this sig EVE related? |
Luis Graca
5
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Posted - 2012.05.02 08:42:00 -
[166] - Quote
Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.
I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.[/quote]
Wish granted, you are now going to be a ***** and you're dog he going not only to talk but also to show you some love
I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot |
Telegram Sam
The Drones Club
280
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Posted - 2012.05.04 13:50:00 -
[167] - Quote
Hya Bam wrote:[quote=Amaroq Dricaldari] I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back. Wish granted: dog language translater. (Sorry, rule violation here, double-granted Hya's wish. Couldn't resist....) |
Dalin Auscent
Shadow Star Syndicate Shattered Empire
0
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Posted - 2012.05.14 20:43:00 -
[168] - Quote
Hya Bam wrote: I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot
Granted. Beer now ONLY tastes good when the bottle is heated to above the boiling point of water. The beer now causes severe burns and the alcohol has evaporated, making the point of drinking it non-existant. The beer companies all go out of businesss, and thousands of people lose their jobs, triggering a global depression. Alcoholics either turn to harder liquor or start trying to drink the heated beer, causing overflow in emergency rooms from people with third degree burns on their heads. Burn units fill up, and many people now die in the aftermath of fires due to the inability for hospital burn units to adequately care for the quantity of people with burns, and the inability for them to pay for the expansion of these units because insurance companies have started dropping people who go to the doctor with beer-induced burns, and the hospitals lose billions of dollars on uninsured patients who are unable to pay for their treatments, causing more shutdowns, more unemployment, and the healthcare system to go into a death spiral. The overpopulation of the world is solved in a few short years after several preventable pandemics wipe out massive amounts of the world's population.
I wish to be a World of Darkness-style vampire of the Gangrel clan. Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, When a good man goes to war. |
Unimaginative Guy
Dutch Squad Chained Reactions
10
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Posted - 2012.05.14 23:59:00 -
[169] - Quote
SpaceSquirrels wrote:You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.
I wish for ponies!!
This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood
You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems.
I wish I could be a capsuleer. |
Zanza Mechonis
Vulkan Innovations
0
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Posted - 2012.05.16 23:13:00 -
[170] - Quote
Unimaginative Guy wrote:SpaceSquirrels wrote:You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.
I wish for ponies!! This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems. I wish I could be a capsuleer.
Granted, however you will NOT have clones, so if you're podded once, you're dead. (On top of that rats and concord will now target your pod too)
I wish there were space colonies and space travel for public use. "On the internet you can be anything you want... It's strange that many people choose to be stupid." |
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killroy v2
Thorn Project Candy Bears
4
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Posted - 2012.05.26 23:34:00 -
[171] - Quote
wish granted too bad you are enslaved.
now that i have conquered desire i wish to conquer ignorance. |
John Caligan
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
13
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Posted - 2012.05.27 16:40:00 -
[172] - Quote
You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.
I wish I had some Orange Juice right now.. |
LadyMiLch
Killer Koalas Inc. Ethereal Dawn
0
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Posted - 2012.06.01 07:22:00 -
[173] - Quote
John Caligan wrote:You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.
I wish I had some Orange Juice right now.. An impossibly huge glass of orange juice descends from the heavens and forcibly quenches your thirst til your innards rupture and you die a horrible, orangy death!
I wish I knew what happened to that meth bear with the hugs: I wanna be friends! |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
126
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Posted - 2012.06.07 17:35:00 -
[174] - Quote
The Meth bear with the hugs's life ended in a slow and painful manner. You have now become so acutely aware of the precise method by which he perished, you cannot help but personally relive the agony that the bear experienced every time your mind casually dwells on the subject.
I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1689
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Posted - 2012.06.07 17:49:00 -
[175] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful.
I wish I could get motivated to work out. It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Sebastian N Cain
Aliastra Gallente Federation
143
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Posted - 2012.06.07 18:01:00 -
[176] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad.... Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful. I wish I could get motivated to work out. Wish granted, you are now fully motivated. However, as a workout you have chosen to twiddle your thumps which won-Št help you becoming more athletic.
I wish for 10 billion dollar. "You either need less science fiction or more medication."
"Or less medication and more ammo!" |
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
126
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Posted - 2012.06.07 18:17:00 -
[177] - Quote
You receive a 10 billion dollar bill... which is worthless as it is not recognized as legal currency by anyone.
I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer. In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse. |
FloppieTheBanjoClown
The Skunkworks
1695
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Posted - 2012.06.07 21:08:00 -
[178] - Quote
Pinstar Colton wrote:I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer.
The one side effect you did not anticipate is boredom. Unable to sleep at night, you exhaust your collection of books, magazines, games, and movies in a few short months. As you adapt to your sleeplessness, you alienate your friends when you forget they still sleep and call them at 3 am. You sink into a deep depression where your only outlet is time spent on Eve Online...until CCP bans you when your 23/7 gameplay is identified as bot behavior. Now unable to engage with people socially and lacking in any real entertainment, you finally completely lose it. Months later, you're found on the streets, homeless and mumbling to yourself. The other indigents want nothing to do with you. They find your constant insomnia "creepy as hell".
I wish I had a real working time machine. It's time to put an end to CCP's war on piracy. Fight your own battles and stop asking CCP to do it for you. |
Svarek
38
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Posted - 2012.06.08 00:51:00 -
[179] - Quote
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:I wish I had a real working time machine.
Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012.
I wish people understood irony. =( Please read the above post with facetiousness, sarcasm, and irony detectors activated. |
Culmen
0utLaw. Northern Coalition.
84
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Posted - 2012.06.08 03:58:00 -
[180] - Quote
Svarek wrote:FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:I wish I had a real working time machine. Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012. I wish people understood irony. =(
Granted, due to over analysis and familiarity it ceases to be amusing.
I wish I could turn back time. There is a fine line between a post and a signature. |
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