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Kaleigh Doyle
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Posted - 2006.02.23 07:57:00 -
[1]
The Glamour Syndicate is proud to announce its latest beverage, Samuel Rackham Premium Caldari Ale.
Samuel Rackham Premium Caldari Ale is a prime example of the basic qualities of a great ale offering a full, rich flavor that is both balanced and complex to the tastebuds. It is brewed using a time honored traditional methods passed down from generations, a time consuming process discarded by many large-volume contemporary brewers. This process brings forth a hearty, robust taste that makes it well worth the effort.
Samuel ale also uses only the finest of ingredients including two row barley, as well as aroma hops from the widely recognized agricultural facilities of Haatomo III. The exclusive use of two row barley not only imparts a full, smooth body but also gives the beer a wide spectrum of malt flavor ranging from slightly sweet to wild and fruity. The hops varieties, Katana Takara and Katsu Isamu, add a wide range of citrus notes which are present from the aroma through the flavor to the lingering smooth finish.
We take great pride in the hops used in our beers and are hand selected by the State's finest brewers from the universe's most well established hops cultivation facilities. Among the known universe's most expensive, they are known to cost two hundred times as much as other hops.
So the next time you're looking for something to satisfy your thirst, make it a Samuel...
Sample Bottle
Promotional Commercial
Three Deteis men are sitting in a fine eating establishment discussing quarterly review estimates when a waitress approaches and asks them if they'd like to start off with a beverage:
Boss: "I'll have a Starsi."
The suckup vieing for your promotion quickly replies: "Starsi for me as well."
The savvy, career-driven Deteis man with a chiseled jawline and slick-blonde hair, replies without hesitation: "I'll have a Samuel Rackham."
The boss glances over at the career driven Deteis and nods to the waitress: "On second thought, I'll have a Samuel as well."
The suckup meekly replies "Me too" with a look of disdain by his superior as the suave, blonde-haired Deteis smiles warmly.
A burly Civire in full sleeveless combat gear with a striking resemblance to the face on the label appears in the camera as it zooms in, the weight of his body pummeling the waitress out of the way as he leans in and slams the bottle of Samuel Rackham Caldari Ale on the table forcefully, startling the three Deteis: "Make it a Samuel..."
The screen changes to a closeup of the bottle with a bustling bar in the background as a voice-over announcer declares: "Samuel Rackham's Premium Caldari Ale. Choose only the finest quality in alcoholic beverages. Make it a Samuel..."
(fade to black)
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Gorion Wassenar
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Posted - 2006.02.23 08:41:00 -
[2]
Off in a distant station a Deteis man has just finished watching the comercial. The man rubs his chin and smiles.
Wow, breaking two name use licenses at once.
------------------
CEO of TKI
Public Channel: TKI-Net
[url="http://s14.invisionfree.com/Tsurokigaarai/index.php |
Vendrin
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Posted - 2006.02.23 08:51:00 -
[3]
Edited by: Vendrin on 23/02/2006 08:53:12
A civire man shakes his head as he walks back to his pod just having seen the commercial and mutters to himself
Suckups drink Quafe, not Starsi.
Need help in Caldari Space? Join channel CCDF to give or recieve it. |
Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.02.23 09:19:00 -
[4]
OFFICIAL GILEAD'S BULLET TRANSMISSION
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAH AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA AAHAAAAAHAHAAAAAAHAAAAAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAAHAHAAAHAHAAAA AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA...
I--
AAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA...
I--
AHAAAHAHAAAAAHAHAHA...
I would--
AAHAAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...
*loud thumping noise, like that of a body and a chair both hitting a floor*
...
...
...
...
...
*TRANSMISSION AUTO-CUTOFF*
-------------------------------------[04:04:04] Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
[04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
[07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Stop whining about my signature - Wrangler
\o/ ~kieron
[\"] -Capsicum
<3 -eris
you wanted colours
now you have them :) -eris..again
Donuts and cAKe anyone? Jacques'
Nikolai can post twice as fast as me, and i'm uber -zhuge liang
Uhm, I'm new to this, does this work? *clickety* Oveur |
Nooey
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Posted - 2006.02.23 09:56:00 -
[5]
A predominantly Gallentean Corporation telling the Caldari what to drink...
Nooey sighs and shakes his head, smiling.
I'm sure with the high price, low volume and effeminate Caldari man with a bow on his triangular hat as your logo, that this will be a stunning commercial success.
____________
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Karn Mithralia
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Posted - 2006.02.23 11:28:00 -
[6]
((LOL ))
-----------------------------------------
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Nikolai Nuvolari
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Posted - 2006.02.23 13:06:00 -
[7]
 Originally by: Karn Mithralia
((LOL))
(( Come on, throw in something IC! ))
-------------------------------------[04:04:04] Tom Thumb > for a nut case you rawk
[04:21:15] Mebrithiel Ju'wien > Nik's bio 4tw btw
[07:38:53] Graelyn > Nikolai for Dev 108!
Stop whining about my signature - Wrangler
\o/ ~kieron
[\"] -Capsicum
<3 -eris
you wanted colours
now you have them :) -eris..again
Donuts and cAKe anyone? Jacques'
Nikolai can post twice as fast as me, and i'm uber -zhuge liang
Uhm, I'm new to this, does this work? *clickety* Oveur |
Tar Kovsky
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Posted - 2006.02.23 14:00:00 -
[8]
I prefer PodBeer. Brewed by Matari, for Matari. No flashy Gallente graphics -- just the taste you crave, and the ability to double as an engine cleaner.
(Contact Freya Jones for licensing information in other regions)
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Davion Vrynn
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Posted - 2006.02.23 15:43:00 -
[9]
I can't help but think that Mr. Rackham was not consulted on the use of his name and likeness on a Gallente product...
----------------------------------------------------
Captain, TCS Atropos
Security Division |
Hammerthew
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Posted - 2006.02.23 15:51:00 -
[10]
I quite frankly am amazed they got his chin to fit on the bottle.
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Kharakan
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Posted - 2006.02.23 16:02:00 -
[11]
I have a good mind to sue the Syndicate for causing the fracturing of several of my ribs X_X
Originally by: ParMizaN
evry1ghasb a limiy...
...and ijust reached it ahaha...
this signature space is claimed in the name of eris, haha I got to him first. neeneer
I am annexing your space! Haha! I win! - Wrangler
Imaran > Wrangler |
Kaleigh Doyle
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:26:00 -
[12]
*grins*
Assumptions are tools of the ignorant. We are not, by default a Gallentean Corporation, and yes, Mr. Rackham was contacted.
Enjoy~ 
Promo Commercial #2
A aged Sebiestor man and a young Gallentean male are sitting on two bartools, slumped over the counter. A lone Brutor wearing sunglasses is drying off a beer mug as he asks what they'd like to drink:
The Sebiestor peers at the Brutor: "I'll take a Thukker ale."
The lavishly dressed Gallentean man nervously stutters: "Oh, I'll just have a Quafe."
The Brutor behind the bar stares down the Gallentean and lets out a hearty laugh as the Gallentean gulps and twiddles his fingers. The barkeep looks toward the entrance, places his thumb and index finger in his mouth, and lets out a sharp whistle.
The bar doors swing open and slam an exiting customer in the nose as a brawny Civire in standard issue BDU's marches towards the bar and bellows: "Which one of you ordered a Quafe?!"
The Gallentean hadn't even raised his hand halfway above his shoulder before being backhanded by the Civire, careening off his barstool and landing on the metal grate of a floor, all at the dismay of his Sebiestor friend.
The Civire turned around and eyed the Sebiestor's drink, before tilting his head: "What're ya drinking?"
The Sebiestor lowered his eyebrows and spoke: "It's a Thukker ale!"
The Civire slapped the mug of Thukker ale off the counter as the Sebiestor stood up in anger and began rolling up his sleeves. The burly Civire only let out a laugh as he pulled a freshly chilled bottle of Samuel Rackham Caldari Ale out of his combat vest, and slammed it on the counter with the force of a railgun: "Make it a Samuel!"
The screen changes to a closeup of the bottle on the counter, with the Gallentean man lying face down on the floor in the background as a voice-over announcer declares: "Samuel Rackham's Premium Caldari Ale. Choose only the finest quality in alcoholic beverages. Make it a Samuel..."
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Cygnus Arnimane
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:30:00 -
[13]
Edited by: Cygnus Arnimane on 23/02/2006 17:31:15
Originally by: Davion Vrynn
I can't help but think that Mr. Rackham was not consulted on the use of his name and likeness on a Gallente product...
The Glamour Syndicate does not operate in that fashion. As has been stated time and time again, The Glamour Syndicate also does not affiliate itself with any one particular political faction. We are an equal opportunity employer and you will see people of all ethnicity in our ranks.
The journey is the reward.
Tao Proverb |
Hayzo
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:36:00 -
[14]
I think Sam's grateful.
____________________
"Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers."
Join channel: TKI-Net |
Davion Vrynn
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:41:00 -
[15]
Well, if it's not a Gallente company, then perhaps you are being truthful. I guess I should have just asked him directly before making a statement. I just assumed that the picture of him in that ridiculous hat wouldn't sit well with him...
*shrugs*
Originally by: Hayzo
I think Sam's grateful.
*raises an eyebrow*
----------------------------------------------------
Captain, TCS Atropos
Security Division |
Kaleigh Doyle
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:50:00 -
[16]
Originally by: Hayzo
I think Sam's grateful.
*blushes profusely*
I think the hat makes him look quite dashing if I say so myself~
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Cygnus Arnimane
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:51:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Davion Vrynn
Well, if it's not a Gallente company, then perhaps you are being truthful. I guess I should have just asked him directly before making a statement. I just assumed that the picture of him in that ridiculous hat wouldn't sit well with him...
*shrugs*
Originally by: Hayzo
I think Sam's grateful.
*raises an eyebrow*
*ahem* The hat and logo was a compromise, we in fact had many versions...and the one agreed upon is infact not the one the GLS prefered...let us just leave it at that
The journey is the reward.
Tao Proverb |
Cygnus Arnimane
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Posted - 2006.02.23 17:59:00 -
[18]
Originally by: Kaleigh Doyle
Originally by: Hayzo
I think Sam's grateful.
*blushes profusely*
I think the hat makes him look quite dashing if I say so myself~
So true! It also makes you want to scream YARR!!!
The journey is the reward.
Tao Proverb |
Graelyn
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Posted - 2006.02.23 18:19:00 -
[19]
A case of Samuel, on the double!
*whispers* The usual address please....
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Aegis Militia
Fleet Admiral/CEO - The Aeternus Crusade |
Asael
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Posted - 2006.02.23 18:38:00 -
[20]
Working for the Glamour Syndicate and even proclaiming your appreciation for Gallentean woman?! Sam, did you nick some of my stash?
______________________________ Commander Asael Nathlin.-Everto es hic servo mihi- Is it?  - Laqum |
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Halunoto Vankaalen
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Posted - 2006.02.23 18:50:00 -
[21]
...
Yeah, wondering the same thing as Hammerthew here.
I'll uh..I guess I'll make it a Samuel then. I hope he gets to backhand more Gallenteans across the room however
-----
All for the Good of Many
Caldari Navy |
Gavin Paradise
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Posted - 2006.02.23 18:51:00 -
[22]
Originally by: Graelyn
A case of Samuel, on the double!
*whispers* The usual address please....
/raises an eyebrow.
Admiral Graelyn is a drinker?
I'm... shocked?
/returns to performing repetitive tasks for his new masters while daydreaming about tasty beverages.
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Lucius Lefebvre
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Posted - 2006.02.23 19:03:00 -
[23]
Chilled ale? Mon Dieu..!
*Lucius grimaces at the thought*
Regrettably, Mme Doyle, I understand that my father's legal advisors have taken exception to your use of the phrase, "finest quality in alcoholic beverages".
I do hope that this will not lead to any unpleasantness.
*Lucius shrugs helplessly*
Respectfully,
Lucius Lefebvre
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Tsual
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Posted - 2006.02.23 19:15:00 -
[24]
Uhm Kaleigh 240 bottles, Bei VII Moon 3.
Just leave it in my office there with a bill.
I'll pay when I get there.
[center]Tsual - Highly ore adddicted.
Imaran strikes you perfectly, wrecking your signature
Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, like eating very hot chili. |
Malthros Zenobia
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Posted - 2006.02.23 20:09:00 -
[25]
Just goes to show it takes a Caldari to make a decent Gallente product.
I'll stick with Starsi though. I've seen what that beer stuff can do to your pod if you've had too many...
I swear I'll kill that stupid cadet who stank up the academy pod like that right before I used it.
Originally by: Istvaan Shogaatsu
I'm probably one of the biggest Bush fanboys in Eve...
This is like, Darth Vader, can't-reach-climax-without-killing-a-puppy evil.
RAWR!11 Sig Hijack!11 - Imaran |
Silver Night
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Posted - 2006.02.23 21:08:00 -
[26]
Silver grins, "Sounds like a fine product."
((Made me laugh, especically the commercials, good stuff.))
--------------
Director.
Caldari Patriot.
Murderer of (his own) Frigates. |
Kyoko Sakoda
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Posted - 2006.02.23 21:21:00 -
[27]
Wow, this might be the first GLS product I actually buy, just for kicks.
(( Samuel Rackham! It'll get you drunk! MmmmMmmm b****! XD ))
Learn what it means to be Caldari - www.omertasyndicate.com |
Chai N'Dorr
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Posted - 2006.02.24 08:52:00 -
[28]
Surely this doesn't mean I've acquired a taste for men? 
looks over his shoulder
Lass, you've gotten me all paranoid now when I order meself a pint of Thukker Ale.
_
Short Story: Planetside |
Nooey
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Posted - 2006.02.24 13:33:00 -
[29]
Originally by: Kyoko Sakoda
Wow, this might be the first GLS product I actually buy, just for kicks.
If I see you drinking this trash, I will kick you.
Is that what you meant?
____________
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Plan Neun
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Posted - 2006.02.24 14:30:00 -
[30]
Simply brilliant Mrs Kaleigh Doyle. 
"I Will Drug You and Fluff You, through the permafrost"
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