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Cynthia Gallente
Bio's Holdings Bio's Remnant.
1052
|
Posted - 2012.12.18 17:14:00 -
[1] - Quote
I had a disturbing realization this morning. I have no memories.
To be more accurate, I have no memories of my life before being a pod pilot. Even in my earliest memories I'm already in the pod, and then it's still pretty foggy. I can only accurately remember back to a year or so ago. I don't know exactly how long I've been a capsuleer but, I do know it's been much longer than a year. . . I know I was working for the Gallentians for some time but, when did I start? Why was I working for them? Am I even Gallentian? I was told that I'm Intaki but I have no way to verify this on my own. I don't know who my parents are; I don't know if I have any living family.
I wonder how many other capsuleers are like this. And if there are more people who suffer from this, what is the cause? Post with your lickGäó |
Thgil Goldcore
Advenus Classem
400
|
Posted - 2012.12.18 21:09:00 -
[2] - Quote
Tampering would be the most likely cause.
To be compatible for capsuleer training does require a mind with superior mental ability in all areas (including memory). As well as the implanting process is a very careful science to prevent such a thing from happening. A total wipe would have to be either a freak accident... or someone at your school didn't want you to remember. |
Scherezad
Lai Dai Research Spacelane Security
325
|
Posted - 2012.12.18 21:35:00 -
[3] - Quote
I myself suffer complete retrograde amnesia and partial anteriograde amnesia. You have my sympathy, it's not much fun, is it? In my case this was caused by a discontinuous event during a neural remapping conducted some three years ago. I lost all memories of before the event and have difficulty in retaining and recalling memories now. To be honest, I went into a semiconscious coma which I have only been out of for perhaps one year at this point.
Amnesia is a difficult thing to understand and comes in several forms. Most of the issues arise from damage to the hippocampus and other related midbrain structures. Accidents do happen, both during implantation and clone transfer, and amnesia is only one of many possible effects of these errors. Were I you, I would visit a skilled and trusted neurosurgeon for a midbrain assessment as soon as you're able.
Best of luck in your efforts. |
Cynthia Gallente
Bio's Holdings Bio's Remnant.
1069
|
Posted - 2012.12.18 21:42:00 -
[4] - Quote
Scherezad wrote: Were I you, I would visit a skilled and trusted neurosurgeon for a midbrain assessment as soon as you're able. Best of luck in your efforts. Do you know the names/stations of any of these surgeons? Post with your lickGäó |
Scherezad
Lai Dai Research Spacelane Security
325
|
Posted - 2012.12.18 22:24:00 -
[5] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote:Scherezad wrote: Were I you, I would visit a skilled and trusted neurosurgeon for a midbrain assessment as soon as you're able. Best of luck in your efforts. Do you know the names/stations of any of these surgeons?
I can only advise my employer, Lai Dai Research Biomedical and Cybernetic. They have helped me immensely, to the point where I am not only a patient but also a research associate. If you would like more information, feel free to message me privately. |
Vikarion
Yulai Syndicate
70
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 06:35:00 -
[6] - Quote
No, you were working for the Caldari, and were captured and brainwashed by the Gallente to fight for them. Join the State Protectorate today!
In other news, this sort of thing seems awfully common. |
Stitcher
Re-Awakened Technologies Inc
403
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 11:42:00 -
[7] - Quote
Vikarion wrote:In other news, this sort of thing seems awfully common.
The brain isn't an organ to be tampered with lightly. Since meeting Scherezad, I've had a single neural remapping procedure done, for which I took the precaution of updating my cold clone template and leaving instructions that in the event of a mishap I should be euthanized and reanimated. Fortunately, the procedure went flawlessly.
We're more fragile than many of us like to believe. Sure, thanks to my hot clones I can survive warfare, and thanks to my cold clones I can return from anything else with only a few hours or days of missing time to show for it, but I go to great lengths to ensure that the brain scans I have in storage are pristine, and that they're backed up and distributed across multiple stations. Some of my backups are so old and so deeply secured that if they ever needed activating I'd wake up thinking it was YC108.
I intend to live for a good chunk of forever. Part of that is taking the precautions necessary to keeping myself in top condition. For most of my body, that's as simple as having a good clone. For my brain, it's the more complex matter of safety measure stacked upon safety measure, redundancy nested within redundancy. An in-character blog and a video: http://verinsjournal.blogspot.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu1mbsgo738
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Saede Riordan
Alexylva Paradox
2701
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 13:17:00 -
[8] - Quote
One can never have too many backups, copies, contingencies, or alternative plans. The universe has a way of throwing a wrench into the works in unpredictable ways. Best be prepared for any and every eventuality, even one that seems impossible.
Torn from grace, gotta find your faith or the devils gonna claim your soul
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Halete
Alexylva Paradox
480
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 13:47:00 -
[9] - Quote
A terrifying prospect, the loss of one's mind. Many contingencies by me are kept in-case of an unforeseen disaster or several. I pray that these plans will not have to be tested.
Many take their supposed immortality for granted, many are fools. Do not be going carelessly forth like a child, our foundations are weak and corruptible as any.
It would be nice for you to rediscover your lost memories, so I hope to this end that you are successful. I do caution that you do not search so hard as to lose sight of the present, it may after-all be the case that they are experiences better left forgotten or otherwise covered up for good reason. Trading chains for shackles, I am free. |
Cynthia Gallente
Bio's Holdings Bio's Remnant.
1114
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 15:04:00 -
[10] - Quote
Vikarion wrote:No, you were working for the Caldari, and were captured and brainwashed by the Gallente to fight for them. Join the State Protectorate today!
In other news, this sort of thing seems awfully common. This thought has occurred to me. Do you know if the Caldari have any records of anyone like me? Post with your lickGäó |
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Quinzel Nikulainen
Kokako Acquisitions
14
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Posted - 2012.12.19 15:28:00 -
[11] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote: This thought has occurred to me. Do you know if the Caldari have any records of anyone like me?
If you were in the employ of a Caldari corporation, your disappearance will be known about.
We have a very high record of accuracy when it comes to book-keeping who comes and goes in the State. This is because it's a simple matter of referencing against an employee database for us. .
The information is probably available if you do a bit of digging. |
Lux0r
MCG13
0
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 21:48:00 -
[12] - Quote
Quinzel Nikulainen wrote:Cynthia Gallente wrote: This thought has occurred to me. Do you know if the Caldari have any records of anyone like me?
If you were in the employ of a Caldari corporation, your disappearance will be known about. We have a very high record of accuracy when it comes to book-keeping who comes and goes in the State. This is because it's a simple matter of referencing against an employee database for us. . The information is probably available if you do a bit of digging.
That is unless of course they wanted you to disappear or planted you as some sort of sleeper agent. Trust no one.... isn't that what we so often hear as capsuleers?
Be careful where you go poking your nose. You might not like what or who you find. |
Che Biko
Humanitarian Communists
141
|
Posted - 2012.12.19 23:23:00 -
[13] - Quote
The fact that you recently realized that you had no memories, and not one year ago, leads me to believe that whatever happened, happened the day before you woke up that morning. You probably realized this, but considering your brain could be damaged in other areas as well, I thought I should mention this.
In case you can't find easy answers, consider these things:
When most souls enter the universe, they have no recollection of their life before they were born. You could say you were reborn, in a way.
I am not a big fan of asking "Who am I?" or "Where do I come from?". To a lesser extend, this also goes for "Who did I used to be?". For me, it is the present that matters, and who I am is answered every day by the things I do and the thoughts I have. If I did not know that I am of Gallentean ethnicity, I would not wonder about it, for it does not matter, I am still me.
I can imagine that you would want to find out if there are possible threats from your past to your person, but like someone pointed out, you could re-activate those threats by poking around in your past. Perhaps you have a family who loves and misses you, but perhaps they hate you, or you hate them, and you had reasons to forget about them and/or yourself. Again, I'm mirroring statements made by others.
So I would initially focus on why you've lost your memories, and not on what memories you've lost.
Peace,
-Ch+¬ Biko Contraband Smuggling: Player Assisted Customs |
Vikarion
Yulai Syndicate
75
|
Posted - 2012.12.20 05:27:00 -
[14] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote:Vikarion wrote:No, you were working for the Caldari, and were captured and brainwashed by the Gallente to fight for them. Join the State Protectorate today!
In other news, this sort of thing seems awfully common. This thought has occurred to me. Do you know if the Caldari have any records of anyone like me?
Oh. Oh my.
My dear, I must confess that I was being a bit flippant. I'm known for being a bit of a State Patriot, so it is of course humorous that I would assert you to be fighting for my side, as it were.
Of course, now that I consider it, it is possibility. The State does have quite a few Intaki, and Aliastra is merely CONCORD's holding company for all of Intaki descent. Therefore, it is quite possible that you were with the State, although statistically less common than with the Federation.
On the other hand, this makes discerning your possible origins somewhat more difficult, since, as I understand it, all of the Caldari Megacorporations and their subsidiaries employ Intaki - the Intaki, like the Achura, being a more valued minority in the State due to their assistance during the War for Independence. I have some contacts...if you would like, I can look into it for you. |
Cynthia Gallente
Bio's Holdings Bio's Remnant.
1116
|
Posted - 2012.12.20 19:56:00 -
[15] - Quote
Thank you for the information you have given me thus far. I have already begun my own investigation in regards to who I was before and who may have had motive to wipe my memories
I fear this is going to get worse before it gets better though. Post with your lickGäó |
Kochiriwa
Federal Navy Academy Gallente Federation
0
|
Posted - 2012.12.20 22:54:00 -
[16] - Quote
If your mind has indeed been altered, I would suspect this to be the doing of one of the other nation states with which Gallente occupies New Eden alongside. I've found that, as a general rule, most Gallenteans find the idea of slavery abhorrent and this kind of manipulation is slavery by a different name.
I would suggest that you forget this sordid revelation and throw yourself into serving the Federation so that similar things do not happen to others in the future. |
Taci Tiaton Nikola
State War Academy Caldari State
2
|
Posted - 2012.12.21 10:25:00 -
[17] - Quote
Heh, did not know could lose one's memories by becoming a capsuleer.
Regardless, I suggest you embrace the situation life has given you, and look at it as a blessing, not a curse. -áYou have a chance to redefine yourself as whatever you wish to be, and are free from some of the things that held you back before. -áSure, if you wish to find out who you were, do so, but realize that you are no longer the person you once was, and do not let your past self dictate who you are and what wish to do. -áIn a way, you are more free than most of us. |
Da Dom
Wii R
9
|
Posted - 2012.12.24 04:45:00 -
[18] - Quote
I am in the same boat...
Most of us can't afford the 150M ISK cost of an Omega Grade clone upgrade when we first decide to become capsuleers, so it would be natural to assume that your previous life was nerfed in the podding process. Your first nerual brain mapping to implant your concioussnes into the infomorphic database that creates a copy of your brain for your medi-clone, is apparently done by the same transneural burning scanner that scans your brain (and turns it into goo) the moment your podded.
You proberbly couldn't afford to keep your memories. On the plus side, your previous memories may still exist in that infomorphic database. But unless you're some kind of expert on sleepers, I doubt you'll be able enter that database and accurately discern which specks of memory belong to you... |
Salena Ashera
15
|
Posted - 2012.12.25 10:29:00 -
[19] - Quote
Eight years ago I awoke in a hospital within a Vherokior tribe station; no recollection of who I was or where I was from and with difficulty speaking fluently. i later learned that I had been recovered from the wreckage of a star ship in a dead space complex already capsule-compatible, handed over to the hospital by a capsuleer heavily wounded and having been exposed to dangerous low pressures, but not true vacuum.
My treatment progressed normally, if slightly delayed and after a year of both being an in and out patient I was considered healthy and mentally sound. During this time I met a man named Retht. Retht was a Brutor man of some stature and belonged to a sect of monks that practiced a strain of Vherokior mysticism. he had grown weary of his duties and we swapped places, the monastery for the outside world, seven years later I found someone I deemed more capable then me and traded places with them. After purchasing the memories and techniques required to pilot basic star ships I left the monastery with my small collection of things and flew about the stars like all of you. Salena Ashera, Shandian Lu clan Mystic, private contractor with Stillwater |
Mika Firestorm
Your Friendly Neighborhood Logistics
1
|
Posted - 2012.12.25 10:40:00 -
[20] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote:I had a disturbing realization this morning. I have no memories.
To be more accurate, I have no memories of my life before being a pod pilot. Even in my earliest memories I'm already in the pod, and then it's still pretty foggy. I can only accurately remember back to a year or so ago. I don't know exactly how long I've been a capsuleer but, I do know it's been much longer than a year. . . I know I was working for the Gallentians for some time but, when did I start? Why was I working for them? Am I even Gallentian? I was told that I'm Intaki but I have no way to verify this on my own. I don't know who my parents are; I don't know if I have any living family.
I wonder how many other capsuleers are like this. And if there are more people who suffer from this, what is the cause?
Congratulations. You are a replicant - new form of a gallentean biorobotic drone. State the nature of your medical emergency |
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Erik Kaassan
Black Sun Brethren
6
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 04:36:00 -
[21] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote:I had a disturbing realization this morning. I have no memories.
To be more accurate, I have no memories of my life before being a pod pilot. Even in my earliest memories I'm already in the pod, and then it's still pretty foggy. I can only accurately remember back to a year or so ago. I don't know exactly how long I've been a capsuleer but, I do know it's been much longer than a year. . . I know I was working for the Gallentians for some time but, when did I start? Why was I working for them? Am I even Gallentian? I was told that I'm Intaki but I have no way to verify this on my own. I don't know who my parents are; I don't know if I have any living family.
I wonder how many other capsuleers are like this. And if there are more people who suffer from this, what is the cause?
I've had memory loss as well. Maybe an effect of being what we are?
More to the point, I don't care. Records show I was and am Caldari and I had family but now they are distant relations. My crew and corpmates are now the only relevant family I have and I'm okay with that.
Short answer: It's natural to want close relations and meaning but don't go searching for questions you won't like the answers to. |
Kraven Fawkes
State War Academy Caldari State
3
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 06:45:00 -
[22] - Quote
Vikarion wrote:No, you were working for the Caldari, and were captured and brainwashed by the Gallente to fight for them. Join the State Protectorate today!
In other news, this sort of thing seems awfully common.
More then likely she is already a Caldari operative whose memories were wiped, after all the best spy is the spy that has no idea that they are a spy. Perhaps one day she will be in a pod, piloting a Hyperion and, over the comms hear " John has a long mustache" at which point she will begin to target her fellow Gallenteans and open fire. Perhaps she will be flying a Nyx and crash it into a station and escalate the war from boarder skirmishes into the real thing.
The important thing, is we know who you are, you need only wait for the time for it to be revealed to you my dear lady. |
Vaden Khale
Subaka Holdings
7
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 11:32:00 -
[23] - Quote
Vaden nods knowingly at the story.
I, too, suffered a memory loss back in YC 111. While working for the Angel Cartel, I awoke one night with no memory of where I was or who I was working for. My contact in the Cartel was excited about me entering Jovian space, yet I had no knowledge of who she even was. My ship logs indicated that I had somehow entered Jovian space, but although I have regained all other memories, my memories of where I was during my time in Jovian space have never returned. Psychological evaluations and cybernetics maintenance revealed no malfunctions.
As far-fetched as it may sound, the Jovians could somehow be responsible. |
Scherezad
Lai Dai Research Spacelane Security
366
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 15:42:00 -
[24] - Quote
Kraven Fawkes wrote:More then likely she is already a Caldari operative whose memories were wiped, after all the best spy is the spy that has no idea that they are a spy. Perhaps one day she will be in a pod, piloting a Hyperion and, over the comms hear " John has a long mustache" at which point she will begin to target her fellow Gallenteans and open fire. Perhaps she will be flying a Nyx and crash it into a station and escalate the war from boarder skirmishes into the real thing.
The important thing, is we know who you are, you need only wait for the time for it to be revealed to you my dear lady.
Brains don't work that way, sir. |
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations Shaktipat Revelators
1028
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 15:44:00 -
[25] - Quote
Well, not normally they don't. |
Scherezad
Lai Dai Research Spacelane Security
366
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 15:51:00 -
[26] - Quote
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:Well, not normally they don't.
Oh! Yes. An implant could be devised, true. Given the frequent brain scanning and clone transferrence a Capsuleer goes through, though, foreign structures would be quite detectable in the form of map derivatives. Perhaps look for an unexpected vector in your modality epicycles? |
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations Shaktipat Revelators
1028
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 16:03:00 -
[27] - Quote
Scherezad wrote:Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:Well, not normally they don't. Oh! Yes. An implant could be devised, true. Given the frequent brain scanning and clone transferrence a Capsuleer goes through, though, foreign structures would be quite detectable in the form of map derivatives. Perhaps look for an unexpected vector in your modality epicycles?
Mhmm. It would take an artist of implant design to create something that could go unnoticed, although it is theoretically possible to make one that would have a very high probability of doing so if you simply modify an existing implant.
It's certainly outside of my level of expertise. I can think of maybe three or four people who might have the ability, but all of them are of Nation (compared to them I am a clumsy oaf fit only to be a butcher), so unlikely to be implanting Ms. Gallente in favour of the Caldari. |
Scherezad
Lai Dai Research Spacelane Security
366
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 17:16:00 -
[28] - Quote
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:Mhmm. It would take an artist of implant design to create something that could go unnoticed, although it is theoretically possible to make one that would have a very high probability of doing so if you simply modify an existing implant.
It's certainly outside of my level of expertise. I can think of maybe three or four people who might have the ability, but all of them are of Nation (compared to them I am a clumsy oaf fit only to be a butcher), so unlikely to be implanting Ms. Gallente in favour of the Caldari.
It would have to be a self-propagating implant modification, no question. To detect it one would have to find the vector space of the map and then examine the derivatives when compared to earlier derivatives. A rather monumental undertaking, really - considering the number of edges in the map and the degree of the derivative, it's a huge amount of work. Still, a worthwhile exercise to ensure cognitive integrity! |
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations Shaktipat Revelators
1050
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 18:05:00 -
[29] - Quote
Scherezad wrote:
It would have to be a self-propagating implant modification, no question. To detect it one would have to find the vector space of the map and then examine the derivatives when compared to earlier derivatives. A rather monumental undertaking, really - considering the number of edges in the map and the degree of the derivative, it's a huge amount of work. Still, a worthwhile exercise to ensure cognitive integrity!
Quite tricky. A skillful enough operator wouldn't leave it with any significant 'hard edges' unless you were to look at it over time, and even then, it wouldn't be proof. People change all the time. Who is to say, while comparing maps of the same individual from two different time periods, whether the change was brought around naturally or not.
I remain, as always, amused by people who attempt to differentiate this process from the processes of socialization that we all undergo every day. |
Publius Valerius
East Khanid Trading Khanid Trade Syndicate
98
|
Posted - 2012.12.28 18:43:00 -
[30] - Quote
Cynthia Gallente wrote:I had a disturbing realization this morning. I have no memories.
To be more accurate, I have no memories of my life before being a pod pilot. Even in my earliest memories I'm already in the pod, and then it's still pretty foggy. I can only accurately remember back to a year or so ago. I don't know exactly how long I've been a capsuleer but, I do know it's been much longer than a year. . . I know I was working for the Gallentians for some time but, when did I start? Why was I working for them? Am I even Gallentian? I was told that I'm Intaki but I have no way to verify this on my own. I don't know who my parents are; I don't know if I have any living family.
I wonder how many other capsuleers are like this. And if there are more people who suffer from this, what is the cause?
There are many rumours! Many people say, that the Khanid Kingdom as on Hexandria, the second planet in the Irmalin system, a facility for memory removal, change or replacement; and those operative can be very precisely, even to the point were just a single memory is remove without loosing another. So, I could think, that you maybe fall in the hand of another kingdom holder for a time. Turing that time most likely your memories were remove and you had most likely a transcranial microcontroller. Which lets you experience a new world, even a new life. As for me, I use them by my slaves too ("my" isnt the right word. They are family slaves, but I can help them and they me. But just the head of the family owns all the family possessions. See me as a free rider).
I would love to have those classes ingame. See here:
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/376566/march-07-2011/joshua-foer |
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