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Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 0 post(s) |
Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:23:00 -
[1]
Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts! |
Atticus Fynch
Gallente
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:24:00 -
[2]
no |
Erosie
Imperial Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:24:00 -
[3]
F CK
All i need is U... (now gimme ma dollahs) |
Ingvar Angst
Amarr Nasty Pope Holding Corp Talocan United
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:24:00 -
[4]
The funniest thing. |
Discrodia
Gallente Symbiosis International Moose Alliance
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:25:00 -
[5]
And then if I give it back to you, I get double right? |
Morgan Polaris
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:25:00 -
[6]
Not worth it. Get out. |
Jasdemi
Interstellar Whine Brewery Monocle Overlords
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:26:00 -
[7]
Butthurt bittervet is butthurt. |
Hevymetal
Caldari POT Corp
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:27:00 -
[8]
Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down into a tire and call it a "Goodyear" |
Sarah DeMerchant
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:27:00 -
[9]
Edited by: Sarah DeMerchant on 08/07/2011 12:28:24 I found this amusing. |
Blane Xero
Amarr The Firestorm Cartel
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:28:00 -
[10]
Venison's deer isn't it.
Stationary store moves.
Dwarf shortage.
Eh, I'm out. |
|
Ariel Silverblade
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:28:00 -
[11]
Edited by: Ariel Silverblade on 08/07/2011 12:28:46 Edited by: Ariel Silverblade on 08/07/2011 12:28:17 Well It hink this is a very funny thing:
:P
http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1341909
CCP Shadow
C C P C C P Alliance Posted - 2010.06.24 17:13:00 - [7] Edited by: CCP Shadow on 24/06/2010 17:30:40 Just for clarification, the skillpoints CCP will be giving pilots to make up for the extended downtime in this case is not tied to microtransactions.
Editing to add this: We do not have plans to go microtransaction with EVE.
CCP Shadow
C C P C C P Alliance Posted - 2010.06.24 17:23:00 - [20]
Originally by: CloloThis has me all confused, is CCP going to start offering some sort of Microtransaction for SP?
No. There are no microtransaction plans, whatsoever. I wrote "in this case" because this extended downtime was an unusual situation. It's not every day we relocate our servers to a new facility. Wink
(I know its a dead horse :) ) |
LLoyd Thomson
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:29:00 -
[12]
... and just like any other 'I give my stuff away' thread your alt will win. |
Mystical Might
Amarr The Imperial Fedaykin
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:30:00 -
[13]
Can I haz ur stuff?
And don't let the door hit ya on the way out, or CCP'll get mad about you vandalizing it with your blood. Probably make you pay AURUM to fix it. |
Baugoti
Amarr Middle Finger Technology
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:30:00 -
[14]
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? |
Ned Black
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:31:00 -
[15]
Dont do it man... Just keep the money and give anyone trying be funny the finger. None of them deserve it.
On the other hand this will most likely be a hillarious brown nose thread. |
Flynn Fetladral
Caldari BlackSite Prophecy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:31:00 -
[16]
Here's something to keep you entertained in life after you quit.
http://nyan.cat/
Thanks for all the poptarts o/ |
Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:31:00 -
[17]
Originally by: Jasdemi Butthurt bittervet is butthurt.
+1 |
Juliette DuBois
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:33:00 -
[18]
Edited by: Juliette DuBois on 08/07/2011 12:33:10 May the monololcle be with you. |
Ciar Meara
Amarr Virtus Vindice
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:33:00 -
[19]
Originally by: CCP Zinfandel PS. I did buy the PLEX on a real character and then ask our Internal Affairs group to move them to CCP Zinfandel so I could purchase the monocle legitimately.
I found this quite funny. |
Scorpionidae
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:35:00 -
[20]
I am not going to even try to make you LOL I really want to but your most prob a Trolololol so I'm not even going to try. Just give me the ISK and contract me your stuff.
And I'm most def not going to beg... you can not make me beg... Oh sh!t please give it to me!!Please I need it!!! I'm begging you PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!
Scorpionidae |
|
EvePublicServices
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:35:00 -
[21]
How desperate the above people are for money amuses me quite a bit...Oops. |
Illwill Bill
For a fistful of Veldspar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:37:00 -
[22]
Wanna leave with a bang? Buy plex for all of the 70b, and enjoy having done something good while getting CCP to pay 2500$ just because you got rid of internet spaceship money. |
Halo
Amarr Trading Company
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:37:00 -
[23]
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, ôThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.ö The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ôWhich do you want, son?ö The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ôWhat did I tell you?ö said the barber. ôThat kid never learns!ö Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ôHey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?ö The boy licked his cone and replied, ôBecause the day I take the dollar, the game is over!ö |
Zagdul
Gallente Shadowed Command Fatal Ascension
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:38:00 -
[24]
Originally by: Torothin Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!
Instead of quitting, come join my alliance.
|
Darkside007
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:38:00 -
[25]
Originally by: Illwill Bill Wanna leave with a bang? Buy plex for all of the 70b, and enjoy having done something good while getting CCP to pay 2500$ just because you got rid of internet spaceship money.
What he said, but give them all away. \o/ |
Captain Brickwalle
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:40:00 -
[26]
"Nerf Rock, Paper is fine" - Scissors |
Riley Moore
Sentinum Research
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:40:00 -
[27]
"I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once."
"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
|
Flynn Fetladral
Caldari BlackSite Prophecy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:40:00 -
[28]
Originally by: Darkside007
Originally by: Illwill Bill Wanna leave with a bang? Buy plex for all of the 70b, and enjoy having done something good while getting CCP to pay 2500$ just because you got rid of internet spaceship money.
What he said, but give them all away. \o/
To a PLEX Charity drive. |
Niraia
Zaratha Zarati Aggravated Assault..
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:41:00 -
[29]
Originally by: CCP Zinfandel We added some new items to the store just now during downtime. May I draw your attention to the "Nightstalker" goggles for 1500 Aurum?
ISK to Niraia <3 |
coolzero
Gallente
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:41:00 -
[30]
By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.
got no isk for a PLEX :P they moved the price to the end of my wallet :D |
|
Laney Collins Collins
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:41:00 -
[31]
Im a day old newbie, can i have some isk? |
HAMTRONIX
do you -Mostly Harmless-
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:42:00 -
[32]
I went to a fight once, and a hockey game brokeout. |
Linistitul
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:43:00 -
[33]
Edited by: Linistitul on 08/07/2011 12:44:15 Soooo, you got tired of EVE? Time to say "Screw You Guys I'm Going Home" |
MatrixSkye Mk2
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:45:00 -
[34]
CPP: Why did the chicken cross the road?
You: I don't know. Why?
CPP: Pay me 30 AUR and I'll tell you.
|
Baugoti
Amarr Middle Finger Technology
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:47:00 -
[35]
A man's only as old as the woman he feels. |
Fractal Muse
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:47:00 -
[36]
You -were- there.
|
Tiven loves Tansien
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:48:00 -
[37]
You have a girlfriend. |
Kelby
Deep Core Mining Inc.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:49:00 -
[38]
IÆm being sued by the last company I worked for because after a year of unemployment I went to work for a new company thatÆs in a similar market.
Now, this may not seem funny but if I did not treat it as such and IÆd have to go insaneà |
Kirkland Langue
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:50:00 -
[39]
If you are leaving because of the State of the Game - I recommend Buying Plex...... but just holding them. That is what CCP wants you to do the least, but at the same time provides them with an incentive to try and convince you to come back.
If you are leaving because you have to - I recommend just giving the ISK to in game friends. Or, if you don't have any, then buying the PLEX and burning them all to extend your subscription for years.
Don't give any of these bums either PLEX or ISK. |
Gallion
Amarr
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:52:00 -
[40]
what is 80+B in Assets? should just give it the Lotteries and let them deal with it for you. |
|
Denaris Aschanna
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:54:00 -
[41]
Ah, why not.. this video is good for a giggle.. |
spyor
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:54:00 -
[42]
Funniest thing I ever seen in Eve is:
Dave: yeah, but the wife's gonna get a major kill soon here if I don't :-) Angel151: lol Dave: wow wife agro timers last for days Angel151: go man AEIOwnU: well nice knowing u but do it for the team:-P j0rz: heh wife aggro timer? Angel151: lol Angel151: if you forget to fuel them you lose soverignty too i hear AEIOwnU: lmfao Angel151: tech 2 wife scorn strikes you perfectly, wrecking for no sex for a month AEIOwnU: Holy $#!^
|
Rykuss
Gallente
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:55:00 -
[43]
Originally by: Baugoti LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?
You mean hallway sex, that's where you pass each other in the hallway and she says "**** You!" and in return you say, "No, **** You!"
|
Darian Nystrom
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:55:00 -
[44]
Leaving us? Well just remember this important bit of advice for whatever your doing in the future
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. |
feiht'd'ero
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:57:00 -
[45]
Give me the iskies and i will donate it all to the eve orphans and widows |
Carcas
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:58:00 -
[46]
Random internett quote: The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Now give me isk |
Spurty
Caldari V0LTA VOLTA Corp
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:58:00 -
[47]
I went to this minmatar dentist the other day rondos a clone mishap.
I was sitting in the seat thinking this is strange.
Usually the dentists chair goes up and down.
This one went backwards and forwards.
After two minutes of playing with it, the dentist came in and asked me to get out of their filing cabinet. |
Lorminator
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 12:59:00 -
[48]
Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day Put a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life
So! I wouldn't know what to do with 40B, but if you have any blueprints I'd be very happy to get them -- then I can create a sustainable living out of producing stuff that gets blown up!
Cheers mate, have fun wherever you go.
|
Field Artillery
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:00:00 -
[49]
a man was hospitalised with 6 plastic horses in his ass the doctor described his condition as *stable*
ba dum tish |
Crunac Arclight
Amarr
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:02:00 -
[50]
I'll bite.
What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?
The browneye, of course! :)
Ask me why its bleeding. XD |
|
Xaifas Kyr'Ozch
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:04:00 -
[51]
Edited by: Xaifas Kyr''Ozch on 08/07/2011 13:03:53 Free internets to you sir! |
Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:05:00 -
[52]
Originally by: Crunac Arclight I'll bite.
What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?
The browneye, of course! :)
Ask me why its bleeding. XD
Ok this guy is in first place for the time being. This was a good one. |
Nhoj Gnol
Gallente Legio Centaurae
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:06:00 -
[53]
Nhoj Gnol says "The funniest thing in this thread"
Ok, said it in the thread....Yea, Lame, I know but I had to try.
Fly Safe Torothin! |
Debza
Caldari State War Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:06:00 -
[54]
How does one pilot? |
TriadSte
Gallente
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:07:00 -
[55]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guMQu5x1oSo
If this isnt worth you ever so kindly sending that isk to myself I dont know what will...
|
I Love Boobies
Amarr All Hail Boobies
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:09:00 -
[56]
Originally by: Ariel Silverblade Edited by: Ariel Silverblade on 08/07/2011 12:28:46 Edited by: Ariel Silverblade on 08/07/2011 12:28:17 Well It hink this is a very funny thing:
:P
http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1341909
CCP Shadow
C C P C C P Alliance Posted - 2010.06.24 17:13:00 - [7] Edited by: CCP Shadow on 24/06/2010 17:30:40 Just for clarification, the skillpoints CCP will be giving pilots to make up for the extended downtime in this case is not tied to microtransactions.
Editing to add this: We do not have plans to go microtransaction with EVE.
CCP Shadow
C C P C C P Alliance Posted - 2010.06.24 17:23:00 - [20]
Originally by: CloloThis has me all confused, is CCP going to start offering some sort of Microtransaction for SP?
No. There are no microtransaction plans, whatsoever. I wrote "in this case" because this extended downtime was an unusual situation. It's not every day we relocate our servers to a new facility. Wink
(I know its a dead horse :) )
But they didn't add microtransactions. He isn't lying. The NEX store prices are definitely not micro in the sense of microtransactions. |
Mendolus
Aurelius Federation Eternal Evocations
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:09:00 -
[57]
The funniest thing is my chance of winning after posting in this thread; I never win anything, gotta keep the streak alive! |
Solderan
Gallente Intergalactic Combined Technologies The Chamber of Commerce
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:09:00 -
[58]
this is quite scary... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-yy2URAYqU |
RaTTuS
BIG Gentlemen's Agreement
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:10:00 -
[59]
I monocle that emotion
|
The Yzzerman
Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:12:00 -
[60]
china are NOT a communist country !! |
|
Seraphim's Wrath
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:13:00 -
[61]
End of the world is coming in 2012. Quick, send me all your stuff for safe keeping before it's too late |
Riza Tok Snappu
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:13:00 -
[62]
Sex and a joke, I win.
http://poorlydressed.failblog.org/2011/07/06/fashion-fail-a-plastic-itch/
<- Monneyhs |
Boaz Hedion Merkava
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:15:00 -
[63]
Edited by: Boaz Hedion Merkava on 08/07/2011 13:18:12 Edited by: Boaz Hedion Merkava on 08/07/2011 13:17:39
Can I post an image? Please?
Because this made me laugh loud!
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
So my neighbour came home yesterday, looked very sad. I asked him what happened to him and he said that bad things were happening to him all week. His wife left him, he wrecked his car, can't pay his bills his and dog died. The only positive thing, he said, was his aids test.
|
El Puerco
Caldari State War Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:15:00 -
[64]
PIE!
that's all |
Khira Kitamatsu
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:17:00 -
[65]
"the maple flavored bacon...yeah.." <<< click this |
Serpents smile
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:20:00 -
[66]
Sorry for my english, but well i¦m from the Netherlands, we are used to throw cows at each other to communicate.
|
Xaifas Kyr'Ozch
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:20:00 -
[67]
Edited by: Xaifas Kyr''Ozch on 08/07/2011 13:21:14 A crippled guy was chasing a mute pedestrian because the latter cursed his deaf friend!
Two birds on a tree. The first one ask the second one: - What's the time? The second one grabs a thermometer out of his pocket: - Wednesday Moral of the story? Don't cat your bottle! |
Valzin
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:21:00 -
[68]
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your #$%^@?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then." |
Vawd
Caldari Proficient Armament Solutions Inc.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:23:00 -
[69]
Edited by: Vawd on 08/07/2011 13:23:41 Edited by: Vawd on 08/07/2011 13:23:08 I cannot think of anything funny to say, however this comic made me laugh.
http://imgur.com/wrOIX |
Wacktopia
Dark Side Of The Womb
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:24:00 -
[70]
Atticus Fynch is a tool. |
|
Jessica Shape
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:26:00 -
[71]
do something constructive, buy a procession of pirate bs's and sd them one by one on the 4-4 undock. or eject from them in ss's for people to go hunt for. thats what id do if i were off. |
Murev Vorchilde
Caldari End Game.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:27:00 -
[72]
incarna was the best patch ever |
pix101
Pleadians Inc.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:28:00 -
[73]
Anyone got a good name for a goblin shaman? |
ShadowStalkerwings
Gallente Consolidated Holdings
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:31:00 -
[74]
1 Word ......... Monocle |
Efraya
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:32:00 -
[75]
Posting in a thread full of scroungers.
(I'm not scrounging here, honest.) |
Lea Swiftfoot
Amarr Callide Vulpis
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:34:00 -
[76]
A Sesamee Street bus Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed "Special Ross". After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him "Leonard Cheeks". Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched.
What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them: "Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin' bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!"
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
just some stuff i found funny |
Bob the'Cyno
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:35:00 -
[77]
And I was about to give you all my ISK, sad day..... |
Baugoti
Amarr Middle Finger Technology
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:36:00 -
[78]
For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike." |
Zabby Gabby
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:37:00 -
[79]
Might I ask how you managed to acquire so much isk?
Trading? Scamming? Non-stop 23/7 Mission Running?
I have to know
Anyway... Something funny, makes me crack up every time (From omgrawr)
Quote: GM Guard > I must ask you not to use the petition option like this again but i personally would finish the chicken sandwich first so it won¦t go to waste. The spaghetti will keep and you can use it the next time you get hungry. Best regards.
(A Mod's reply to an unknown petition) |
Khira Kitamatsu
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:38:00 -
[80]
If this doesn't make you life you are dead.
Watch this <<< LMAO! |
|
Shelby GT
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:39:00 -
[81]
I farted during sex the other day when my misses jumped on top and woke the baby up ;/
No sex, and well had to go watch my baby ;( |
Xaifas Kyr'Ozch
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:43:00 -
[82]
Made a trailer for Incarna:
Click to watch |
Midnight Poe
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:44:00 -
[83]
I'm as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market. |
Cpt Greagor
Caldari Liquid Relief
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:50:00 -
[84]
Originally by: Mystical Might Can I haz ur stuff?
And don't let the door hit ya on the way out, or CCP'll get mad about you vandalizing it with your blood. Probably make you pay AURUM to fix it.
How's he going to let the door hit him on the way out? The door doesn't even open. |
Iluminat
Minmatar Sharp Dressed Man
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:52:00 -
[85]
My problem is that i'm just not funny. I'm a pain in the ass. I could post all kind of pics or jokes from someone else but that's stil someone else trying to be funny. So that actualy does not count does it? I could try to be funny but that wil cost you a large amound of isk just in case i'm trying to be funny and people laughing at me making a fool of myself. In that case i would like to be compensated. Do you get my point? Now bugger of cause i'm in a bad mood
|
Ayame Yubari
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:54:00 -
[86]
Edited by: Ayame Yubari on 08/07/2011 13:55:00 Myself, I am the castrated b-ollocks. |
wallenbergaren
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:55:00 -
[87]
Meep meep! |
Ahanako
Amarr Nunc aut Nunquam
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:56:00 -
[88]
Twit of the Year
The Decision-Making-Capsuleers |
Crash Enburn
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:59:00 -
[89]
We will look at what our players do and less of what they say. |
Heroltior Ghedonia
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 13:59:00 -
[90]
The Platypus is natures way of saying "I put this together out of leftover parts I found on the shop room floor, and it can still ****ing destroy you." |
|
Cassiopeia Andromedae
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:02:00 -
[91]
I would post with my main but CCP desided that they don't want me to post with my main that I would like to use to post this post.
So you are giving up 70 B away in assets and ISK.
All I have to say is....tunes up the BOOOOM BOX....
Half past twelve And I'm watching the late show in my flat all alone How I hate to spend the evening on my own Autumn winds Blowing outside my window as I look around the room And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom
there's not a soul out there no one to hear my prayer
Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Take me through the darkness to the break of the day
Movie stars Find the end of the rainbow, with a fortune to win It's so different from the world I'm living in Tired of T.V. I open the window and I gaze into the night But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight
there's not a soul out there no one to hear my prayer
Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Take me through the darkness to the break of the day
Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight... Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight...
there's not a soul out there no one to hear my prayer
Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Take me through the darkness to the break of the day Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away Gimme gimme gimme a ISK after midnight Take me through the darkness to the break of the day
GIMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH!!!!1111 |
egola
Amarr
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:04:00 -
[92]
Edited by: egola on 08/07/2011 14:05:34 GOOD MORNING SIR! I AM A PSYCHOLOGY STUDENT DOING AN ESSAY ON TRUST IN INTERNET SPACESHIP GAMES, I HAVE 200B TO GIVE AWAY DUE TO ME USING PLEX FROM RL MONIES(MY FINAL RIDES ON THIS!) IF YOU DONATE 40B ISK TO ME I WILL GIVE YOU BACK 2x, IF YOU DONATE 70B ILL GIVE YOU BACK 3X! DONT HESITATE! AND HELP ME ACHIEVE MY FINAL TERM PAPER! |
Eugene Spencer
Rodents of Unusual Size
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:05:00 -
[93]
Greetings Torothin, brother!
I don't really know you but I thought I would post in this thread partly because it would be nice to have 70b ISK, but also because I would like to pass along a life expereince with you. You may or may not find it funny, but I hope you will find the information in the below "essay" useful. Even if you don't find it funny or amusing, I'd like to think you get something useful from it.
So I thought I would give you some advice on beards. I am by no means am I and expert on beards. I can only pass on advice and tips I have gained from my own experience.
Will you let me tell you the story of my beard? Perhaps you can learn something from it?
==========
ôMy Beard Experienceö An Essay By Eugene Spencer, Rodents of Unusual Size
Dedicated to ôTorothinö, who wanted a LOL and so I'm posting this overly-ellaborate reply.
==========
It was around the age of sixteen when I first attempted to grow facial hair. Many of my friends were able to grow full beards û even some of the females - and I wanted to be just like them.
Alas, without dwelling too much on my early attempts too much, it was a disaster. A failure. My facial hair came through patchy . I had only been shaving for a year or so. But basically I just looked like a 16 year old trying to grow a beard.
Bad times.
After a while I came to a compromise. The only decent facial hair I could grow was my sideburns. And man, I grew them like a mother :censored: er!
Now, a 16/17 year old with giant sideburns might seem a little daft. But Christ on a bike... the pu55y I got was phenomenal! Women like lamb chops and I'm living proof of that. Something about sideburns tickling their thighs or something. I donÆt know.
Two years later.
I was 18 and unfortunately the pu55y had all dried up if you pardon the expression. I no longer felt the need to have sideburns. They were awesome and all... but it was time to move on. So I had them chopped and went back to being baby-faced.
Until I was 21.
During this period I watched a lot of 24. You know, the critically-acclaimed, award-winning show starring Kiefer Sutherland? Now, you can spend all day debating wither 24 is a good show or not. I personally like it. It's turn-off-brain TV and itÆs not fukkin Judge Judy. Ya know? But it was during this time that I had an actual man crush. I'm not gay but IÆm also not afraid to admit that I was in love with a man. Tony Almeida. Do you know the character I'm talking about, brother?
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:HwqMD7JnewlbaM:http://www.nerdles.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/Tony_Almeida-1.jpg&t=1
I didn't love him because he's a good looking guy. Or because he had firm buttocks. I loved him for his beard. I'm not afraid to admit that at all. That tiny wee beard was awesome and I wanted one. I wanted to be Tony Almeida!
Now. You may remember that my previous attempts at growing a beard when I was sixteen didn't really work out. The beard grew in patchy. But that was a good few years ago and to be honest, this beard is tiny. It's like the smallest beard you can have. How can you go wrong?
So I set about growing this thing.
Best.
Decision.
EVAR.
As you can imagine, it's not really that difficult to grow. It's not even that difficult to maintain either. But the crucial part is, it **WAS NOT** maintenance-free. It **did** require the occasional trim. Looking back now, the grooming skills I developed during this period were absolutely vital to future beard development. You learn how far you can push trimming. You learn how to handle a razor. But most of all, you learn how to handle the single most difficult element of beard growing: your friends asking you ôARE YOU GROWING A BEARD LOL?ö
Man. The first time that happened to me, I crumpled like a hooker punched in the kidneys. I didnÆt know what to say. Why was I embarrassed? DOESNÆT A MAN HAVE A RIGHT TO GROW A BEARD? |
BeastlyRage
The Imperial Fedaykin
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:06:00 -
[94]
Edited by: BeastlyRage on 08/07/2011 14:05:58 http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=9991895 |
Eugene Spencer
Rodents of Unusual Size
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:06:00 -
[95]
Fukkin right I do. And I told them that. They laughed it off and cracked a few jokes. ôTo hell with them!ö, I thought. I continued to experiment with my facial hair.
I made the small beard slightly longer, so it came down over my chin. I grew even more on my chin and it became more goatee-like, just without the moustache. Do you know what I mean? I started to lengthen my sideburns again. All in all, I had a great time playing about with my facial hair.
Good times.
I did this on and off for a few years. IÆd shave it off completely and then re-grow it. But now I was an established beard-grower among my peers and it wasnÆt difficult to ôtake it to the next levelö.
I did a test-run. I left all my facial hair to grow for two weeks to see what I looked like.
DISASTER!
I didnÆt like it! I just looked scruffy. And if thereÆs one thing I hate, itÆs looking like a tramp. So I shaved it all off and that was that.
Until last year. I consider 2009AD the ôyear of bearded enlightenmentö.
In April I left my job to work from home. As I didnÆt have to look presentable for any occasion ever, I didnÆt bother shaving. And the strangest thing happened. The two weeks of non-shaving passed before I knew it. By the end of week three, I began to notice that it was starting to ôfill outö. The patchiness wasà gone. This was great! By the end of week 5 I was ecstatic! I had a full beard and I could do anything I wanted with it. A blank canvas! Absolutely phenomenal!
It dawned on me that all these years I had been missing the vital ingredient. This ingredient is what air is to our lungs, what water is to a fish, what sunlight is to a flower. This ingredient is critical to beard growing. It is of courseà patience.
You see, brother, beard growing takes a long time. It canÆt be done over night. It is something you need to commit to. But once youÆre up and running, itÆs so easy going. You must have patience. Wait six weeks. It doesnÆt matter how daft you think you look. It will work out in the end.
Anyway. I grew my facial hair for six weeks. It became wild and unkempt. But I didnÆt care. I knew after six weeks I would be able to sculpt this magnificent mound of facial hair into anything I wanted.
The day of reckoning came. I lay out my electric razor, my Gillette Mach 3 razor in the bathroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror. The man I used to know was behind that beard. The old me. The man without patience. The unenlightened man.
I picked up the electric razor and turned it on. The hum became hypnotic as I stared into the mirror. I knew I would have to tackle this like a real man. It was unknown territory but really, thatÆs what life is all about.
I raised my chin and slowly lifted the razor up towards my neck. I paused for a second.
ôAm I ready for this?ö I thought. ôAm I ready to become a well-groomed bearded man?ö
Without a second thought, the razor was thrust onto my hairy neck. I only needed to shave my neck û my chin or cheeks must remain as they are. It came so naturally. With every stroke of the razor, I felt the confidence surge inside of me. Whiskers fell to the ground like a spring blossom. I felt free. It was if I was an African Impala running wild through the Serengeti.
Suddenly, my razor began to glow!
ôWhat is this???ö I thought. I was a bit freaked out, naturally. I found myself unable to put the razor down. As if some force was moving my hand for me. My movements became completely involuntary.
The razorÆs hum and glow became more and more intense until I could no longer see my beard in the mirror. I tried to turn away from the mirror and close my eyes to shield them from the intense light, but it was no use. Something was forcing me to stare directly in to the mirror. The hum of the razor had also grown in intensity û it sounded like a rocket at lift-off.
Although I couldnÆt see the razor any longer, I knew I was still shaving. I could feel each stroke on my neck.
|
Eugene Spencer
Rodents of Unusual Size
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:06:00 -
[96]
ôOH GODà WHATà IS HAPPENINGTO ME???ö I screamed at the top of my voice û barely audible over the intense chinook-like sound of the razor.
There was a sudden, hyper-intense flash of light and then silence. Everywhere I looked was intense, bright white light. Almost too white. Pitch lightness. I felt weightlessness. There was no floor, no ceiling.
ôHELLO?ö
Nothing.
Squinting my eyes, I notice some of the white began to darken and change colour. As if the white was materialising into something. It was a face! An old, weathered, bearded face.
ôEugeneö, it said in a deep booming voice.
ôEugene, I am God. You have reached the point of no return. From this day forth, you will forever have a beard. You will die and old man, with a full beard. I have been watching you for many years now. There is no doubt in my mind that you are The Oneö.
ôThe One?ö
ôYes. I am going to give you a very important task. It requires thisàö.
Before me materialises a small, black comb.
ôWhat is this?ö
ôEugene, this is a specific comb for your beard. You must take it and use it. At every opportunity you must tell as many people as possible about your beard and the specific comb you have for it. With luck, you will bring about a bearded revolution. Every man will have beardö
ôBut, but IÆm not ready!ö I exclaimed. ôIÆve only just grown my first proper beard!ö
ôYour mind is not polluted by doubt and greed, son. Alas, I must leave now. But one last thing. If a man named ôTorothinö were to ever cross your path, make sure you dispense sound advice unto him. For he is more important than you will ever knowö.
In an instant, the light turned to darkness.
BZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZ BZZZZ.
My alarm.
I open my eyes. ôMan! What a weird dreamö. I stretch look over to the alarm clock. And there, beside the clock is aà
Small.
Black.
Comb.
From that day forward I knew I was a true bearded man. A soldier of the tash with a specific comb for my beard.
And now I find you, Torothin, on these forums. I knew this day would come. And as I promised god, I must give you some advice.
I hope this story has dispensed some of my knowledge. I hope you find it useful and I wish you the best of luck if you ever decided to grow a beard. Never despair. Always look into the light, brother. One day you will have an awesome beard.
And Torothin, Get a specific comb for your beard. YouÆll never regret it, brother.
PS: I rub butter into my beard to pad it out a bit. |
Saul Khaladran
Aideron Robotics
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:06:00 -
[97]
Edited by: Saul Khaladran on 08/07/2011 14:06:41 F a n n y pack |
Roosterton
Internet SpaceCraft Raiding Fleet
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:09:00 -
[98]
"A witty saying proves nothing." |
Skywalker
Minmatar MAFIA War and Pestilence
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:10:00 -
[99]
*silence |
Dele Anneto
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:12:00 -
[100]
Toasting in an epic bread |
|
Illwill Bill
For a fistful of Veldspar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:15:00 -
[101]
Originally by: Flynn Fetladral
Originally by: Darkside007
Originally by: Illwill Bill Wanna leave with a bang? Buy plex for all of the 70b, and enjoy having done something good while getting CCP to pay 2500$ just because you got rid of internet spaceship money.
What he said, but give them all away. \o/
To a PLEX Charity drive.
Yeah that was what I meant. mother My on a the dropped head kid. when was I me |
Bleck Mether
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:18:00 -
[102]
A few jokes for you...
Breaking News: The UN has said that if they capture Gaddafi they will put him where he can do no harm to anyone - up front for Aston Villa.
The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short skirts and low cut tops. Although they do make me look a bit gay.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They would chip their teeth.
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre."
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a w**k. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You want to stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
Q: What's the difference between a blond and a brick? A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend - Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy, Sensible. Or in other words B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.
My new wig arrived the other day. It's made of ass**le hair. The bloody thing keeps blowing off.
I was feeling down earlier so I dipped my Muslim friend in bleach. I thought I'd try to lighten Mahmood.
A wise man once said "You should treat your women the way you treat your hoover.. When it stops sucking, change the old bag."
Question - are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."
Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going.
What do Tottenham Hotspur and Heather Mills have in common? The second leg is just for show
Just ú3 will buy water and food for a family in Africa. But don't let your heart rule your head. Morrisons are doing 4 Stella for ú2-99.
100 people from Liverpool were asked today if they thought Britain should change its currency. 98% said no, they were happy with the Giro.
Black bloke comes home to find his son sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear. "What are you so happy about?" he asked. "I just f***ed the girl next door" he says proudly. "Well done son. I hope you were wearing something." "Yup" he replied. "A balaclava."
I've just watched the Simpsons and realised it's a load of bo***cks. Who would put a load of funny yellow people in charge of running a nuclear power station?
I thought the wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out I got it all wrong and the programme's called Fact Hunt.
The cost of living has now got so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!
1 sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1403808.59375GB in about 3 seconds. And you thought Virgin media was fast.
Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for 2 bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone. Girl replies, those are our opening times you daft ****.
|
Spookyjay
Caldari Caldari Provisions
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:21:00 -
[103]
how about you tell me the funniest thing and if i find you funny i will look after your isk.
the funniest thing i have seen in a while is this Not safe for work btw. |
Baroness Vulna
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:22:00 -
[104]
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste! |
Milken Gekko
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:23:00 -
[105]
Does anyone else think that Camilla is almost exactly what Diana would have looked like if she'd survived the crash? |
The R00k
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:25:00 -
[106]
Yet another troll giving away isk in some stupid competition that is a obvious troll as it has no end date. I won one of these once the guy said i was gonna get 5billion isk for being the most unpleasant poster in his competition to be the most unpleasant poster. I got nothing......
I was really horrible to him to. felt bad a little. then angry as i spent 2 hours working out the most horrible post that would not get me banned and got nout for it. I want my 5bill damn it. |
NupetietVer
Ice Fire Warriors
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:29:00 -
[107]
I would use it to fund my adult business: C4S/39986
And: collegecaptures Dot Com
|
Isis Tavore
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:34:00 -
[108]
I need your ISK because my pig baby needs a monocle...
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
|
Ranka Mei
Caldari
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:37:00 -
[109]
Now, what if it turns out this guy is an RMT person? He gives you the isk, and you get banned. Now, THAT would be funny!
See? Greed is not good! |
Ghost Nightmare
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:39:00 -
[110]
I win..
Monies plz |
|
Siigari Kitawa
Gallente Aliastra
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:43:00 -
[111]
If you watch the whole thing without laughing, I think I'll cry.
And it's my birthday today, so I'll cry if I want to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32FB-gYr49Y |
Estephania
Independent Political Analysts
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:45:00 -
[112]
The fanboi crew is so funny. Someone is quitting, so what. His choice alone. Yet some imbeciles react like he's betrayed his country. Get a life nerds! |
Barkaial Starfinder
Minmatar The Kairos Syndicate Transmission Lost
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:45:00 -
[113]
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
|
sardenia
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:46:00 -
[114]
Is this a troll? |
Valei Khurelem
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:47:00 -
[115]
Originally by: Estephania The fanboi crew is so funny. Someone is quitting, so what. His choice alone. Yet some imbeciles react like he's betrayed his country. Get a life nerds!
+1 |
Phugoid
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:52:00 -
[116]
Edited by: Phugoid on 08/07/2011 14:52:52 Conserve toilet paper.......
use both sides |
Vain Eldritch
Caldari State War Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:57:00 -
[117]
I demand booze. |
Dee Lucious
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 14:57:00 -
[118]
In before troll admission.
However, if you don't laugh at this, there's something wrong with you. |
Moonduste
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:01:00 -
[119]
I'm not particularly funny, but as a new player if I could even get 1 bill I would appreciate it (or any amount really!). I don't generally ask for ISK, but if you are truly leaving and were feeling charitable. |
ninjaholic
Gallente House Aratus Fatal Ascension
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:01:00 -
[120]
Better: http://omgrawr.net/quote/2553 |
|
Rakamy
Quantum Cats Syndicate
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:04:00 -
[121]
Edited by: Rakamy on 08/07/2011 15:04:07 This is funny, hope nobody posted it prior. George Carlin--Incomplete List of Inpolite Words |
Tovalk
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:05:00 -
[122]
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. |
Oisin Sandovar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:08:00 -
[123]
Monoclegate |
Erosie
Imperial Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:12:00 -
[124]
Originally by: Dee Lucious In before troll admission.
However, if you don't laugh at this, there's something wrong with you.
ROFL --> WIN |
Breytak
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:15:00 -
[125]
Whats the diff between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
Ones makes your day, the other your hole weak :p |
Eoynn
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:20:00 -
[126]
HERP DERP |
The R00k
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:22:00 -
[127]
unless i see 5bill i take this as all a bunch of troll bait. bet we dnt hear a word from this torothin guy again. |
Todd4921
Gallente Praclarush Taonas Inc. Apocalypse Now.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:23:00 -
[128]
Edited by: Todd4921 on 08/07/2011 15:24:20 Go to my youtube acc (Todd4921) and check out "I quit" for a big rant on quitting eve for lulz. |
Alayla Nightfall
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:25:00 -
[129]
You complete me....oooohh Jerry .... |
DJ FunkyBacon
Eve Radio Corporation
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:28:00 -
[130]
If you send me 40B, the death and destruction in Eve will be unmatched. |
|
Flag Bravo
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:30:00 -
[131]
For 40 billion isk I might even consider having your baby. Please supply up to date photo. |
icechip
Caldari Angelus.Mortis The Jagged Alliance
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:31:00 -
[132]
How do you make a napkin dance? Put a lil buggie in it. |
ILikeMarkets
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:38:00 -
[133]
Edited by: ILikeMarkets on 08/07/2011 15:43:40 Guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. Before getting pulled over, he tries to outrun the cop. Finally, realizing it was impossible, he gave up and pulled over. Cop gets out and asks him "What's wrong with you, boy? Don't you know to pull over when an officer is behind you with his lights on?" "Yes officer. Sorry officer." "*sigh* Look... I've had a long day and I really just want to get home, so I'll make you a deal. You give me a really good reason as to why you ran and I'll let you off the hook." "My wife just left me for a cop and I thought you were trying to return her to me."
AND
If that doesn't do the trick, here's some Lonely Island (Watch at least 1 minute of it. Trust me, the video is NOT what it seems. =D):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY |
ninjaholic
Gallente House Aratus Fatal Ascension
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:39:00 -
[134]
Edited by: ninjaholic on 08/07/2011 15:38:48
This.
(http://omgrawr.net/quote/1616) |
Dee Lucious
Amarr Imperial Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:41:00 -
[135]
Vin Hellsing > Oh yeah. I can't use Ventrilo, by the way. Yuki Li > that's utter failure Vin Hellsing > I'm deaf, you idiot. |
Palovana
Caldari Inner Fire Inc.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:42:00 -
[136]
I just bought 98000 AUR for $489.86! |
Toovhon
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:45:00 -
[137]
Funniest thing, eh? Ok...
"First of we have Incarna, an amazing technological and artistic achievement. A vision from years ago realized to a point that no one could have imaged but a few months ago. It rolls out without a hitch, is in some cases faster than what we had before, this is the pinnacle of professional achievement. For all the noise in the channel we should all stand proud, years from now this is what people will remember." |
Teala Te'Jir
Amarr Mr. Benjamin Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:46:00 -
[138]
Think everyone is being trollololol in this thread. |
filingo rapongo
ReviveX Fleet White Noise.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:48:00 -
[139]
entry :
totothin is good at eve
funny right? |
Kazini Jax
Gallente Starlight Operations Starlight Network
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:51:00 -
[140]
CCP has no plans to sell non-vanity items |
|
DgO4
NibbleTek Pandemic Legion
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 15:52:00 -
[141]
I was reading this book today, The history of Glue.
I couldnt put it down. |
Anslo
Disciples of Night Dominion of Darkness
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:01:00 -
[142]
So you're the one that collected the insurance on the Jita monument? |
F'elch
Wall Street Trading
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:04:00 -
[143]
Having read a few threads like this, I have decided that Eve players are not funny. |
Memorya
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:04:00 -
[144]
Handsome, thin, sophisticated men often fall madly in love with larger women, we just never see it on TV. |
Khira Kitamatsu
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:05:00 -
[145]
Originally by: DgO4 I was reading this book today, The history of Glue.
I couldnt put it down.
If I had the 40 billion you'd win. Maybe a stupid little quip, but that actually made me laugh. ^_^ |
Pyrus Octavius
Beyond Control. Black Legion.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:11:00 -
[146]
Edited by: Pyrus Octavius on 08/07/2011 16:11:28 70b in isk and assets? My e-peen just went a little soft. |
kano donn
New Path
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:11:00 -
[147]
Dont do it bro.
Used to have 1 bill liquid isk. 2 bill in ships + mods. In a drunken stupor, I gave it all away! Now I resubed and do not have any isk... Its very sad looking trying to do enough missions and such to make it all back.
Just set up an investment plan with someone and come back a year later to see how it goes. |
Sciencegeek deathdealer
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:14:00 -
[148]
Edited by: Sciencegeek deathdealer on 08/07/2011 16:17:32 The Breakfast Hen has more respect for its young than online gaming culture, and it's an imaginary bird which lays eggs directly onto a frying pan.
Edit: Also funny
Peter's Evil Overlord List |
Leahcim Eclectic
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:16:00 -
[149]
Trolling is a art!
http://fukung.net/v/10109/44c625a0fb6096fe6e0d9d8d6647e936.jpg
|
Bloodburn
Gallente Pray Mantis Private Military Corporation
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:19:00 -
[150]
The Aristocrats! |
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Khamelean
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:19:00 -
[151]
Almost enough to buy 30 monocles, damn, I need more eyes!! |
Unshra
Minmatar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:21:00 -
[152]
See what you've done CCP, it has come down to this: Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. |
SMX
Amarr
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Posted - 2011.07.08 16:25:00 -
[153]
Just keep it on your account and blame the NEX store, perhaps that will help to spark more rage from people against it. |
Anon Magnus
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Posted - 2011.07.08 16:25:00 -
[154]
Edited by: Anon Magnus on 08/07/2011 16:27:17 Edited by: Anon Magnus on 08/07/2011 16:25:45
The FÆ you say OPà We all think you are scamming us with an epic little troll and you probably are. But you know what?
Here we all are w***1ng out another little piece of our soul for your amusement ANYWAY!!!
The devil has nothing on EVE and ISK, man. Nothing at all! And here I go to h311, the new guy who knows better, right along with everyone else.
Now thatÆs funny.
How long till you walk in and call out the suckers. Jimmy Cracked Corn and I DonÆt Care, buddyà 40B ISKà I could live out some fun gaming dreams.
And I even got my hopes up that I could write something witty fun rather than copying junk from other internet sites and pretending it was mine like everybody else. Pffftttà.
Aww, just F. FÆ I say.
Friends and family are going to be looking at me strange cause IÆmma be walking the hall muttering FÆ I could take over SanshaÆs Nation.
Man we are all suckers. And I am mad bro. You hear. MAD. But I be alright, I am going to go have a Pepsi.
The vending machine may not survive but thatÆs your fault bro. Your fault.
Pepsià count backwards from ten. EVE û da dream crasher. Pepsià
I been trolled. We been trolled.
I been trolled bro. |
Mograph
Caldari Conspiracy Theorists M-A-L-E-V-O-L-E-N-C-E
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Posted - 2011.07.08 16:30:00 -
[155]
Edited by: Mograph on 08/07/2011 16:31:52 Mograph > Hi whats the password to your secure can Noob > Fishcakes *flip Noob > HEY! |
BrundleMeth
Caldari Temporal Mechanics
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:35:00 -
[156]
Last night I dreamt I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted... |
D3F4ULT
Gallente Aliastra
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:38:00 -
[157]
http://youtu.be/AObrlCf3Dcs I made this video during the whole pants ordeal, many lols were made.
Now, give me money so I can buy more expensive pants. |
Evozer Olacar
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:38:00 -
[158]
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. |
Lioka
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:43:00 -
[159]
Originally by: filingo rapongo entry :
totothin is good at eve
funny right?
Judging by his KB stats I would say: Yes. |
Kial Riece
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:48:00 -
[160]
A guy at work today was trying to light his cig with his lighter but it wasn't working. I told him it was a left handed lighter ......best 10 mins of my day watching him try it |
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Morloch Mortarion
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:49:00 -
[161]
How bout 1-2bil just for asking nicely :P
P.S. Marauder or Faction ships are acceptable as well |
BuckStrider
Nano-Tech Experiments
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 16:57:00 -
[162]
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
The man answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-steller space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs', etc.......
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tactic. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do his weekend.
The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??
This time the man drawled out "Uh..... bout 50".
The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, "A-r-e y-o-u p-e-o-p-l-e s-t-i-l-l h-a-p-p-y w-i-t-h O-B-A-M-A? |
Alexandra Duckett
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:00:00 -
[163]
Edited by: Alexandra Duckett on 08/07/2011 17:00:09 This is honestly the most hysterical thing I've ever seen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M
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Dardanos Herakles
Caldari Serial Experiments
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:04:00 -
[164]
I canÆt think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why theyÆre dead. (Laura Kightlinger) |
Humongus Bauls
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:17:00 -
[165]
I think you should donate a few billion ISK to our up and coming Corporation, "We Farm People".
First and foremost, our fearless CEO, Tad Simmons. No one can FC a mining op better than Tad.
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
Second is our main gunner for PvE ops, Gilbert "Alfonzo" Gomez. Also known as the "Fonz". There is nothing Fonz cannot kill, with his ship, or with his breath.
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
Third is our recruiting officer, Gene Witherspoon. Gene is a social butterfly. There is nothing he cannot recruit, from 500lb gorillas to 90 pound swim suit models.
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
4th in command is Tony Upshaw. He is a pervert in voice comms, AKA as the "Snake". He is roomates with Gene, not sure what their relationship is outside of that.
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
Last but not least is the glue for We Farm People, our corporation mother, Nancy "Moondance" Hickman. You will not find a better corp hanger organizer in the game. She is nothing but smoking hot!
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images.
To support We Farm People, you can send the money to our corp, or me directly, Humongus Bauls.
/salute!!! |
Zelda Wei
Caldari New Horizon Trade Exchange
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:22:00 -
[166]
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. |
Mobius Reynolds
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:28:00 -
[167]
The Following statement is false; The Previous statement is true;
<Insert Funniest Comment Here>
System.out.print("Trololo"); while(true){ System.out.print("lo"); }
I for one welcome our new monocled overlords... |
Zelda Wei
Caldari New Horizon Trade Exchange
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:29:00 -
[168]
You never said anything about one entry per person plus now I did my research. Send this to the hot girl.
Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. |
Avaleric
Amarr SC Special Circumstances
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:32:00 -
[169]
Edited by: Avaleric on 08/07/2011 17:40:27 I am, by far, the BEST pilot in this game...
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Beelzebubz
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:40:00 -
[170]
the funniest joke i can think of is fiscal conservatism |
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Amitious Turkey
Gallente TarNec
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:48:00 -
[171]
I don't believe you? |
Diondra Reuben
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 17:49:00 -
[172]
Pork Chop Sammiches! |
Wyke Mossari
Gallente
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:50:00 -
[173]
For 70 Billion I'll sell you my hot sister. |
Nak hak
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:57:00 -
[174]
No Thanks. No longing need play money for a CCP service.
Thanks for being a member of the EVE Online community. Have fun with your future entertainment fun.
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Sacredx Taredi
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Posted - 2011.07.08 17:57:00 -
[175]
Two chemists were sitting in a diner. The waiter came up and asked what they would like to drink. The first one said: "I'd like some H20" The second said: "I'd like some H20 too"
So, the waiter went and got their drinks.
Guess which one was the idiot.
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Commander Nowai
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:02:00 -
[176]
It isn't **** , its called surprise sex :D |
RiskyFrisky
Interrobang Inc.
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:07:00 -
[177]
A man walks into a bar, he turns around and leaves. He then walks back into th bar, and turns around and laves. He does this a few more times before an old man approaches him and asks what he is doing. He replies that he needs a drink, but the bar is to damn hard. |
Gajatu D'Gorah
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:07:00 -
[178]
Originally by: Crunac Arclight
What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?
The browneye, of course! :)
Ask me why its bleeding. XD
BECAUSE OF FALCON!
Crystal Gayle called and asked "Don't it make your browneye blue?"
And, finally, if you're leaving and you give me any portion of your assets, I would be forced to say...
"So Long, And Thanks For All The ISk"
I'm aiming squarely at a fictional 1B runner up prize |
Albetta
Gallente Construction Cabal Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:09:00 -
[179]
Be in Frita, weeble tanked woobles jump in. I laser bomb their horprodoggle, their groggle warps to planet MI, weeble tank runs out of slap. I bloop their slippers, knock down their humpty anyways. Coem at me bor. |
So Sensational
Ministry of War
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:12:00 -
[180]
"Need some advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that the missus is cheating on me. The usual signs, phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with her mates a lot...
I try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep first.
Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind my motorbike, when she came home she got out of someone's car and buttoned up her blouse and she took her knickers out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the motorbike that I noticed it....a hairline crack in the engine mounting bracket....Is it something that I can weld or do I need to replace it?" |
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Blacksquirrel
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:12:00 -
[181]
Funniest thing is the total time you spent working in game to make all that. I always wonder myself if my time in games could be spent to better use. I mean total time months? years?
The answer is of course yes, but it wouldnt be as fun for the most part. However this is eve so perhaps that's wrong |
Albetta
Gallente Construction Cabal Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:14:00 -
[182]
$1000 pants |
Baden Luskan
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:15:00 -
[183]
If a man states his opinion, and no women are around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If all else fails, duck. As a defensive stratagem, it's unreliable, but incredibly reassuring for a moment or two.
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Jax Bederen
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:16:00 -
[184]
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ******ed. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ... |
Ben Morto
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:18:00 -
[185]
Edited by: Ben Morto on 08/07/2011 18:18:34 Edited by: Ben Morto on 08/07/2011 18:18:07 Does this count? |
Larg Kellein
Caldari Agony Unleashed Agony Empire
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:19:00 -
[186]
I'm not above forum whoring myself out for a substantial amount of isk and the risk of being trolled, so here's me in the helpchannel being helpful (preserved on omgrawr, here
Irritatus Maxiumus > for example: my current ship, SHOULD have a max tartgeting range for 47 km, instead it hs the range of my other ship, which is 23km Maliki Nutesta > that sounds warp core stabilizer effect to me but i coudl be wrong Irritatus Maxiumus > sure as sh#!, I have a freekign wc stabilizer installed, such a dumb a$$ Irritatus Maxiumus > I will slink away now Larg Kellein > Remember kids, stabs cause temporary amnesia Larg Kellein > Can also cause projectile dysfunction |
ThatDudeThere
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:22:00 -
[187]
A Man walks into a bar.
Ouch. |
Commander Nowai
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:34:00 -
[188]
Oh and btw , i was once in a ally fleet and some dude didn't know how to use teamspeak so ...
Vermis > How to register on TS ----> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mXj8VSb66
Never thought there is such a tutorial on youtube lol |
Trainwreck McGee
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:37:00 -
[189]
what type of meat would you least likely want to be your employee?
Kielbasa
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Nizran L'Crit
Caldari Blue Republic RvB - BLUE Republic
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:43:00 -
[190]
What the hell, I'm a sucker for free isk.
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?" |
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William Pullman
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Posted - 2011.07.08 18:54:00 -
[191]
Edited by: William Pullman on 08/07/2011 18:54:24 Holy crapola dude! Thank you so much. Just checked in EVEmon and my balance now stands at 41.6b ISK. More money than I can could ever use! I'll accept your contracts when I get home. :D :D :D
Thank you thank you thank you!!! If you ever want to come back to EVE, look me up and I'll sort you out.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Edit: posted with an alt to hid my true identity :P |
Dsan
Nomads Nulli Secunda
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:56:00 -
[192]
how to make deaf people shut up ? Give them a popsicle or two...
I came to think of it when I saw three elderly deaf people at a CafT - 1 was handsigning furiously while the two others were eating ice cream popsicles :P
That was pretty funny, now send me a few isk and sponsor the delve thunder dome |
Oh'Freddled Gruntbuggly
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:57:00 -
[193]
Edited by: Oh''Freddled Gruntbuggly on 08/07/2011 18:57:56
BREAKING NEWS
- Worst scammer ever spotted on forum, gives away his own ISK, forgets to ask for 10% in advance. - Ex-scammer admits megafail and rage quits.
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Levi Crawford
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 18:59:00 -
[194]
What kind of Bee's give Milk?...
BOO-BEES! |
William Pullman
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:00:00 -
[195]
Guys I already got this ISK! |
coolzero
Gallente
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Posted - 2011.07.08 19:03:00 -
[196]
i have a tiny p e n i s... there! im not afraid to say it for 70 billion :P |
DarkonRhoe
hirr Morsus Mihi
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Posted - 2011.07.08 19:04:00 -
[197]
I'm not really sure what type of humor you have. My current experience is one many shouldn't share. I will probably get laughed at and trolled for sharing such an embarrassing moment "funny comment" in hopes to win the big one.
It started last year when I was in afganistan. We woke up early one morning to start our patrol. With very little to eat other then MRE's I decided to drink the strawberry milkshake that came packed away in the meal, once I downed the shake I needed caffeine to wake me up so I opened the coffee pactet that also came in the meal and mixed that with water then I down that as well. With 10min left to spare I felt great with a full stomach from the shake and I was amped from the coffee. 30 min onto our patrol I had this bubbly bloated feeling in my stomach. Not much I could do but continue to keep patrolling. 45 min into the patrol I had this unbearable urge to sh!t. Again not much I could do but carry on with the misson.
I'm sure you know where this story is going. I'll leave out the details and just say I had to finish the remaining 5 hour patrol with sh!t filled in my pance and down my legs. I hope you took this story with some humor as my fellow Marines thought this was the funniest thing in the world.
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Ghoest
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:08:00 -
[198]
It would be more funny for you to totally wipe the market on something players require but comes in limited quantity like a an insignia. |
Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:09:00 -
[199]
Originally by: DarkonRhoe I'm not really sure what type of humor you have. My current experience is one many shouldn't share. I will probably get laughed at and trolled for sharing such an embarrassing moment "funny comment" in hopes to win the big one.
It started last year when I was in afganistan. We woke up early one morning to start our patrol. With very little to eat other then MRE's I decided to drink the strawberry milkshake that came packed away in the meal, once I downed the shake I needed caffeine to wake me up so I opened the coffee pactet that also came in the meal and mixed that with water then I down that as well. With 10min left to spare I felt great with a full stomach from the shake and I was amped from the coffee. 30 min onto our patrol I had this bubbly bloated feeling in my stomach. Not much I could do but continue to keep patrolling. 45 min into the patrol I had this unbearable urge to sh!t. Again not much I could do but carry on with the misson.
I'm sure you know where this story is going. I'll leave out the details and just say I had to finish the remaining 5 hour patrol with sh!t filled in my pance and down my legs. I hope you took this story with some humor as my fellow Marines thought this was the funniest thing in the world.
Ok so this is an important question. Was it drinking the $emin that made you not feel so well? |
Andr Katelo
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:09:00 -
[200]
Just ****ing give me the iSK already so we end this senseless spamm. |
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Lonox
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:11:00 -
[201]
My hot friends and I love to party and get naked on our webcam! We really get carried away sometimes during our naughty pillow fights. *teehee* |
Henry Haphorn
Gallente
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:12:00 -
[202]
Edited by: Henry Haphorn on 08/07/2011 19:16:43 Somebody please explain to me why a particular bald-headed individual with an upside-down smile is posting this sort of thing? When I saw the title of the thread of thinking of one of those annoying Jita scams like "I'm quiting now and have all this ISK. If you send me any amount I will double it back to you."
So, mister Jita sca... I mean OP, how does it feel to part from your internet cash of ones and zeros?
EDIT:
Never mind. I'll bite. To all the Harry Potter fans out there, I just have one thing to say in reference to the gay wizard known as Dumbledore: When wands touch, magic happens. |
Ben Morto
The Hatchery
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:13:00 -
[203]
Originally by: Andr Katelo Just ****ing give me the iSK already so we end this senseless spamm.
On a scale from 1 to Chris Brown, how mad are you? |
Dartwick
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:13:00 -
[204]
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off û go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." |
Commander Linski
Talocan United
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:18:00 -
[205]
Originally by: Torothin Edited by: Torothin on 08/07/2011 13:26:59 Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!
I find the previous 7 pages of 'permitted begging' funny, you desperate, ISK stricken hobos.
No, I don't want your ISK/assets. |
Ingvar Angst
Amarr Nasty Pope Holding Corp Talocan United
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:20:00 -
[206]
Originally by: Commander Linski
Originally by: Torothin Edited by: Torothin on 08/07/2011 13:26:59 Whoever says the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!
I find the previous 7 pages of 'permitted begging' funny, you desperate, ISK stricken hobos.
No, I don't want your ISK/assets.
Um... Linski? I'm one of the hobos.
We'll discuss this in private later.
|
Lethor Arareb
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:22:00 -
[207]
Derp. |
NoobPwn
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:31:00 -
[208]
ventrilo harassment |
Jakara Nubai
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:34:00 -
[209]
Duck walks into a bar. Bar tender ask "what can I get for ya." Duck replies "You got any gwapes?." Bar tender says "we're a bar not a whole foods, no we don't have grapes." Duck leaves bar.
Next day duck walks into a bar. Bar Tender ask "you're back? What can I do for ya." "You got any gwapes?" Bar tender gives him a mean look and tells him to **** off.
This continues on for days and the Bar Tender gets really irritated at the duck for asking for fruit. "If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes again I'm going to staple your nuts to the counter."
Next day duck walks into the bar. Bar Tender gets an evil grin on his face "What do you want?" Duck as "Do you got a stapler?" Bar Tender is taken aback "No" "Well do you got any gwapes?" |
Lethor Arareb
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:35:00 -
[210]
Originally by: Jakara Nubai Duck walks into a bar. Bar tender ask "what can I get for ya." Duck replies "You got any gwapes?." Bar tender says "we're a bar not a whole foods, no we don't have grapes." Duck leaves bar.
Next day duck walks into a bar. Bar Tender ask "you're back? What can I do for ya." "You got any gwapes?" Bar tender gives him a mean look and tells him to **** off.
This continues on for days and the Bar Tender gets really irritated at the duck for asking for fruit. "If you come in here tomorrow asking for grapes again I'm going to staple your nuts to the counter."
Next day duck walks into the bar. Bar Tender gets an evil grin on his face "What do you want?" Duck as "Do you got a stapler?" Bar Tender is taken aback "No" "Well do you got any gwapes?"
oh **** YOU |
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Sirinda
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:46:00 -
[211]
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender eyes it up, then says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react. |
Riley Moore
Sentinum Research
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:47:00 -
[212]
Originally by: Sirinda Helium walks into a bar. The bartender eyes it up, then says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Soi Mala
Whacky Waving Inflatable Flailing Arm Tubemen
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:52:00 -
[213]
A Blonde walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a double entendre.
The bartender gave her one.
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malcovas Henderson
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:53:00 -
[214]
World of Warcraft players are Pro. |
Strecs Moliko
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:54:00 -
[215]
Edited by: Strecs Moliko on 08/07/2011 19:54:38 My contribution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGvrj60vqkI |
Nor Tzestu
Amarr Defensores Fidei Curatores Veritatis Alliance
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 19:59:00 -
[216]
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a grasshoper kicked the seeds off a dill pickle true or false? |
Insidious
0utbreak
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:03:00 -
[217]
I always thought you were a really good pvper the best! |
Sacredx Taredi
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:03:00 -
[218]
Originally by: Sirinda Helium walks into a bar. The bartender eyes it up, then says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
I did a chem joke first. Jerk.
|
Andraine
Coded Arms Corp
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:05:00 -
[219]
Edited by: Andraine on 08/07/2011 20:05:20 Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the pi$$ out the underpants. |
Roc Wieler
Masuat'aa Matari Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:08:00 -
[220]
I'm famous. |
|
Supay
Caldari The Littlest Hobos En Garde
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:09:00 -
[221]
I like this one:
Three women were sitting in a cafe discussing their sex lives.
The first said "my husband is a yoga instructor and everytime we have sex we do some new, fun position"
The second says "my husband is a police officer, we like it rough and sweaty"
The third says "my husband works for CCP, he just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it is going to be"
|
DarkonRhoe
hirr Morsus Mihi
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:10:00 -
[222]
Ok so this is an important question. Was it drinking the $emin that made you not feel so well?
I think the $emin mixed with coffee caused the upset stomach? Not really sure, just one of my sh!Ttiest patrols. |
Roc Wieler
Masuat'aa Matari Ushra'Khan
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:14:00 -
[223]
Q: An Amarr and a Caldari fall out of an atmospheric dropship. Which hits the ground first? A: Who cares? |
IHaveCandyGetInTheVan69
The Seal Cub Clubbing Club.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:32:00 -
[224]
I'm the only boy who understands how to kidnap you in my van. |
Askires
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:35:00 -
[225]
0/10 |
Kitsune Tsuki
Amarr Ministry of War
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:49:00 -
[226]
I just came back after a long break and there's nothing funny about it. Maybe you could throw some my way just to take off the edge? ;-) |
Captain Megadeath
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 20:50:00 -
[227]
u mad?
He mad....... |
raney ilara
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 21:09:00 -
[228]
It would be "really funny" if this person had no billions and wasn't leaving the game..and had just decided he wanted a laugh so posted this thread.
ôMy young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.ö
|
Askires
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 21:14:00 -
[229]
Look at your comment, now back to mine. Now back at your comment now back to mine. Sadly it isn't mine, but if you stopped trolling and started posting legitimate comments it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You're scrolling through comments, reading the comment your comment could look like. What did you post? Back at mine, it's a reply saying something you want to hear. Look again the reply is now DIAMONDS. Anything is possible when you're not trolling. |
Spencer Reed
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:15:00 -
[230]
Three guys are hanging out and the first one says"i think i have the smallest arm in the world"
the second on says"i think i have the smallest head in the world"
the third one says"i think i have the smalest **** in the world"
So they all go to the Guiness world record office
the first one comes out and says" i really do have the smallest arm in the world"
the second one comes out and says" i really do have the smallest head in the world
the last guy comes out says"WHO THE **** IS JUSTIN BIEBER" |
|
Anon Magnus
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:28:00 -
[231]
Do you know what happens when you mix a laxative with a constipating agent? Taxesà
|
Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:35:00 -
[232]
Ok so...there are a lot good ones here and I laughed quite a bit. No clear winner so we are going to change it up. The first person that posts an interesting/ridiculous real life story that will make me laugh in COAD titled: "Hi my name is <intert your name here> will get the prize. |
Stuntel
Minmatar 0ccam's Razor Corcoran State
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:42:00 -
[233]
Can I haz your mononcle? |
Arctus Khanid
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:45:00 -
[234]
It was dark.
Just my GF and her best friend, also quite hot.
Three of us sleeping in large bed, bit wasted, in dark room.
I ****ed my GF's best friend while I licked my GF.
Neather of them didn't remember anything at next morning.
Perfect crime |
Meezh Ostus
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 22:55:00 -
[235]
Hi my name is Thomas Williams
Okay. When i was around 5 years old my mom was giving me a bath. She asked me to tell her what time it was on the manual clock behind her, i said something like 3 85 or something like that, i don't remember, but it was really wrong because i didn't know how to read it. She got mad and kept trying to make me read it but i couldn't so she went to hit me but i ran. She chased after me and grabbed her whip. I ran out the front door and took off down the street, naked. She still was chasing me so I rounded the corner and kept going til i reached Mc. Donald's. I went into the playplace and hid in the ball pit, ya, they had a ball pit back then...but I'm only 17 right now. I'm thinking she stopped chasing me when she reached the front of the next door neighbors but i didn't look back. Anyways people were looking at me like i was crazy, kids were laughing, and i was REALLY red. I don't remember what happened after that...i think i went home and she was passed out drunk or something.... |
Janet McJewstein
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:01:00 -
[236]
If your in a hall way full of ****$ how many would you choke on? |
Tyberius Rage
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:04:00 -
[237]
Edited by: Tyberius Rage on 08/07/2011 23:04:22
My COAD Post
:-) |
Barbens
Uneducated Soldiers Dragoons.
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:11:00 -
[238]
I don't need your stinkin' money! |
Sacredx Taredi
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:20:00 -
[239]
Hi, my name is ****.
People make fun of my because my name is ****. I don't think I have a problem because my name is ****, do you? If you do, I would be so ****ing mad its not even ****ing funny, that is mean. That is my ****ing name. So ****ing mean.
The end. |
Emily Panala
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:26:00 -
[240]
Can't Post in CAOD so...
My Name is Alice Lee,
So when I was in high school we used overhead projectors that our teachers would use to put up notes. I was walking around during the hour lunch break one day, and a classroom was open. I go in and start fiddling with the overhead projector and the screen making it go up down up down, playing with the light bulb, etc.
There is a class in that room after lunch. The teacher goes to use the projector the light doesn't work because I burned it out turning it on and off all the time and the projector screen won't come down because I overheated the motor. So she goes to get a new projector and then tries to jump up and pull the screen down, it unlatches from the wall hooks and *SMACKS* her right on the head. She swears and I become an instant celebrity for my friends :) (Everyone hated her)
For reference to what they look like Overhead Projector Screen Image
|
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kyrieee
Shiva Morsus Mihi
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:45:00 -
[241]
Edited by: kyrieee on 08/07/2011 23:45:51 This is an SC2 joke
"A Marine walks into a bar and asks: Where's the counter?"
One more :P
"Why did the Colossus fall over? Because it was imbalanced" |
Bussa Braun
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:57:00 -
[242]
Fu*&, you people are comedically impaired. |
NightmareX
Nomads Nulli Secunda
|
Posted - 2011.07.08 23:59:00 -
[243]
I'll just say this :-D
Yeah, watch all of it . |
Utremi Fasolasi
Gallente The Jagged Edge Disciples of Crom
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:16:00 -
[244]
Two hydrogen atoms are talking in a bar. A molecule walks by and one of the atoms is startled.
I just lost an electron! he said. His friend asks, are you sure? And he says, I'm positive! |
Sylva d
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:22:00 -
[245]
Don't knock on deaths door, ring the bell and run (he hates that)
Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
You cant spell slaughter without laughter.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
Tell a man there's 300 million stars in the universe and he'll accept it, tell him the paint on a bench is wet and he'll touch it to make sure
Real men pod tank
Live is Evil spelled backwards
|
Verrer
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:23:00 -
[246]
Funny'est joke i ever heared:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
æWatson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.ö
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,ö replies Watson.
ôAnd what do you deduce from that?ö
Watson ponders for a minute.
ôWell, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
ôMeteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?ö
Holmes is silent for a moment. æWatson, you idiot!ö he says. ôSomeone has stolen our tent!ö |
Plus 1
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:27:00 -
[247]
I can't be arsed to read this thread so hopefully this hasn't been posted
Three guys and a girl are stranded on a deserted island.
After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing, she kills herself.
After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing, they bury her.
After yet another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her back up again. |
Scarface Virpio
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:40:00 -
[248]
Originally by: Torothin Ok so...there are a lot good ones here and I laughed quite a bit. No clear winner so we are going to change it up. The first person that posts an interesting/ridiculous real life story that will make me laugh in COAD titled: "Hi my name is <intert your name here> will get the prize.
I'm new to eve, so no clue what's COAD is. But here my "Hi my name is Andrew" life story...
I grew in a little french town. Really small; 2 000 peoples, 3h00 from drive from any real city. I was the only computer geek out there and decided as soon as I hit 18 years old to move to a city of 3.5 Millions peoples.
I knew someone who knew someone (à) that lived in the city, so I phone him and ask if I could rent his couch for a while. My mother was completely freak out that I was going to live in the city, so she gave me a hammer (!) to defend my self. She really a sweet wonderful women, but sometimes she scare me a little bit. That was one of those times.
But anyway, I sent some email, got a job and head out to the big city. Little did I knew that my friends apartments was at the corner of the city red-light district, at the core of the poorest area.
My shift was 3.00 PM to at 11.00 PM from Thursday to Monday. One day I was coming back from my job, and at around midnight on Friday I went to do the groceries. On my way there I saw a woman standing on the curb. (I never saw a hooker before in my lifeà) When I went back from my groceries, she was still standing there.
I was finding it a little bit odd, there where no bus stop near here and clearly she had plenty of time to cross the street by the time I came back. So I politely went to her and ask her if I could help in any way.
She looked at me strangely and ask me back ôDepends on you, what do you wish to do?ö
Little bit puzzled, I started to explain that I was finding it odd that she was standing on the curb like that, ALONE in the street at NIGHT like that, with NO ONE aroundà You know, SOMETHING COULD HAPPEND... (Still clueless I was talking to a hooker)
She started to back away a little and ask ôYeah, uh, you know, I do basic jobà I know friend if you'r looking for something more differentö
At that point, I was completely lost by her answer, so I told here where I lived and say that if she needed any help, to come to my place. I left telling to my self I did at least a good deed to someone maybe in need.
When I explain back to my roommate what just happened, he started change to a whitish color. When her pimp knock out at our door to ask what I needed, I connected to dot, and felt that finally, my momÆs hammer could prove handy.
Thank god I didnÆt had to used it, but wellà we decided to move out quickly after 3 months. |
The DRUDGE
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 00:47:00 -
[249]
What do you call an epileptic in a bathtub? A washing machine.
|
GeoBlue
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 01:06:00 -
[250]
The funniest thing I can say huh?
"CCP knows what their doing and they care about us players.
Best I can do sorry to see you go.
|
|
Khai D'mentus
Homo Victor
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 01:33:00 -
[251]
Funnies thing has to be that people actually believe this is for real.
/k |
Terrible Karma
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 01:53:00 -
[252]
Edited by: Terrible Karma on 09/07/2011 01:55:15 You want funny:
My girlfriend's most expensive outfits: $15 @ Goodwill. My avatar's cheapest Eve outfit: $15 @ NEX. Avoiding a beating even though my avatar's dressed 'better' than my GF: priceless |
Plus 1
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 02:30:00 -
[253]
Originally by: Khai D'mentus Funnies thing has to be that people actually believe this is for real.
/k
No, the funniest thing is that you believe that everyone believes that this is for real. |
Akama Lowe
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 02:48:00 -
[254]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFA-rOls8YA |
Rumple Fourskin
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 02:56:00 -
[255]
Edited by: Rumple Fourskin on 09/07/2011 02:56:23 Received 40 billion. Thank you |
JC Anderson
Caldari Noir. Noir. Mercenary Group
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 03:59:00 -
[256]
Originally by: Khai D'mentus Funnies thing has to be that people actually believe this is for real.
/k
Why are you so quick to dismiss it?
A week ago or so, a player contracted me nearly 8 billion in assets simply because I replied "Be well" in his thread that announced he was quitting. I had never even talked to the person before that, and the contract came out of the blue. It wasn't until much later that I put one and one together and checked the original thread again to see that the OP was the same individual who handed me everything.
I'm assuming he chose me because I was the only one not to reply with an insult, or ask for his stuff.
People do all sorts of crazy thing when they quit the game, including funny little contests like this one. ;) |
LegendAmI
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 04:25:00 -
[257]
Edited by: LegendAmI on 09/07/2011 04:25:07 Watch this:
Linkage
...and then watch this:
Linkage
|
Msgerbs
Gallente Infinite Horizons The Jagged Alliance
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 04:27:00 -
[258]
The funniest thing I can say? Hmm...
You will be missed! |
Necrosmith
Gallente Chunder Corp
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 04:50:00 -
[259]
Broccoli: "I look like a tree."
Walnut: "I look like a brain. "
Mushroom: "I look like an umbrella."
Banana: "Dude?! Change the topic!!!" |
Val'Dore
Word Bearers of Chaos Word of Chaos Undivided
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 04:55:00 -
[260]
No, my freighter alt will not help you move your ****. |
|
Bekenel Leco
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 05:10:00 -
[261]
Imagine the Duct tape I could buy.... |
Torothanax
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 05:34:00 -
[262]
Edited by: Torothanax on 09/07/2011 05:38:43
What the hell, for even a chance at that much, I can make a fool of myself. It's long-winded but well worth the read.
So a banker decides he wants to be a farmer. He sells all he has and buys a farm in the middle of no where. With no clue as to how to run a farm he heads down the road to his nearest neighbor's place. Upon arrival he offers to pay the man to teach him. The farmer accepts.
He says "Follow me and learn as we go. First off we need to feed the chickens." The farmer points out two and tells the man "Ya see those two right there? The one on the left is a hen, but round here we call em "pullets". The other one is a rooster, but we refer to him as a "c o c k". The farmer grabs the two and tucks one under each arm of the gentleman. "You can take these two with you to get you started."
Next they head over to the barn. The farmer points out a donkey. "Ya see that there fella over yonder? He's what's known as an "ass". Ornery, stubborn critter, but he can really get some work done if you know how to handle him. I ain't had much use for him lately so you can take him up ta yer place and put him to work. We'll talk price later. If he starts actin up, all ya have ta do is scratch him under the chin like this. Calms him right down." The farmer hands him the lead.
The farmer then looks up at the sun and says "I recon you'll have your hands full with that lot there, and I've got chores to attend to. Feel free to come on back after noon. Good day to you". And leaves the man at the gate. With a chicken under each arm and leading a donkey on a rope the man starts walking back to his place.
About half way home, the donkey starts kicking and braying and refuses to go any further no matter how hard the man pulls. The man tries to do as the farmer showed him and scratch the donkey under the chin, but can't reach as he has his arms full. He doesn't dare set the chickens down for fear of being unable to catch them again. So he stands there for a while at a loss for what to do.
As he racks his brain for a solution, someone politely addresses him from behind. "Sir, are you alright?" He turns around to see gorgeous young woman walking toward him. "Is there some way I can help you out?" she asks.
"Oh what a relief!" he exclaims. "Would you be so kind as to hold my c o c k and pullet, while I scratch my ass???"
That's the best I got. Good luck to you where ever you end up.
Edit: Friggin' filter. "C o c k" is a legit term.
|
Carthusia Malkrin
Caldari
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 06:03:00 -
[263]
Hmmm, can we say two things? If so mine are below:
"Little babies, eating guns, shooting bullets, from their bums"
"I'm giving you my 2 weeks notice, because in 2 weeks time you'll notice i'm not here anymore" |
fuggymuffin
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 06:05:00 -
[264]
What is sad about 5 black guys driving off a cliff? They were my friends.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.
Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van
Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men and enjoys it.
A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Anti-jokes.
|
Chevalleis
The Legendary Conquest
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 06:46:00 -
[265]
Edited by: Chevalleis on 09/07/2011 06:49:59 Something funny.... Hm, lets see. Umm... Yep. Okay, im ready. So. Er... My mind is blank. Blank bullets, haha. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Please visit your user settings to re-enable images. Any1 seez dem? |
Jal Garai
Eye of God Intergalactic Exports Group
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 08:57:00 -
[266]
An Irish man, an Australian man and a Scouser all in a bar.
Just as they were all enjoying their beers, the scouser looks up and says to the others "damn, thats Jesus!".
So with that they all buy Jesus a drink. The Irish man buys him a guinness, the Australian buys him a fosters and the scouser buys him a bitter.
After Jesus drinks all his beers he goes to the group to shake their hands.
He shakes the Irish man's hand who with that gives off a yell of relief, "Hell Jesus, that bad back I've had all my life has just gone". He shakes the Australian man's hand and he also gives off a yell, "That Arthritis I've had for 20 years has just disappeared!".
Jesus goes to shake the Scousers who says, "**** off, I'm on disability". |
Kuro5hin420
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 09:06:00 -
[267]
Goons now take EVE seriously enough to have their own mittens elected to CSM so he can go to iceland and talk serious business spaceships with CCP for three straight days and then make a ten minute video about it in which he talks about how hard it was.
If that doesn't make you laugh that means you have a life and you don't play this terrible game. Good for you. |
Zagdul
Gallente Shadowed Command Fatal Ascension
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 09:21:00 -
[268]
Hi, My name is Zagdul.
My Girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pictures of her naked with her new boyfriend in bed.
So I e-mailed them to her new boss at the law office.
2 weeks later she got a promotion.
FML.
|
Dee Lucious
Amarr Imperial Academy
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 09:48:00 -
[269]
Guy and a girl spend most of their youth as boyfriend and girlfriend. They go through school together, grew up together. They eventually submit their college apps, and get different coasts.
After almost a year apart the girl ends it. Distraught the boyfriend won't stop calling, emailing. This goes on for months. She gets ****ed and after an argument emails him a picture of her sucking her new BF's whatchamacallit.
So he prints it out, writes "Getting desperate for money, please send more." on the back and mails it to her parents.
POONED. |
Masamune Dekoro
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 10:50:00 -
[270]
In space, no one can hear you queef. |
|
Ceptia Cyna
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 10:53:00 -
[271]
**** your mum and get the hell out here! *****! |
Noceur-01 Tiers
Amarr
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 10:57:00 -
[272]
asdasdasdasdasdasd PLEEZ CAN I HAZ!?!?!?!?! |
Sundarpants
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 11:29:00 -
[273]
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and orders 2 pints of lager. The barman, is about to question him, but thinks better and serves the lagers, then watches as both man and giraffe down them in one. The man orders 2 more and the same happens. This goes on for a while, the barman, watching in disbelief, can't bring himself to ask.
After a while, both man and giraffe, being completely hammered, stand up to leave. The giraffe colapses and the man staggers toward the door.
"Hey!" calls the barman, "You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replies "That's no a lion, it's a giraffe." |
Jenkouk
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 11:37:00 -
[274]
a man walks into a bar, the bar man says"what can i get you" the man replies "i'll have a pint of lager" the barman says" ú3.00 please mate" the man shocked replys "you want money? you offered to buy me a drink" stunned the bar man laughed "you what" a lawyer who was also at the bar interuppted "he has a point you did ask him whever he would like a drink" the bar man beaten replied "ok fine have your pint but your banned from here"
the next day a man walks into the bar, the bar man shouts "oi your banned" shocked the man replies" excuse me" "you pulled a fast one on me the other day so get out" says the bar man "impossible ive just got back from the airport" "oh i dunno you must have a double then" said the bar man "ok i'll have a whiskey" said the man
LOL |
Ultim8Evil
Ministry Of Eternal Disorder
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 11:42:00 -
[275]
If "pro" is the opposite of "con"...
What is the opposite of "progress"? |
Ein Spiegel
Minmatar Fly-by-Night Industries LLC PTY LTD
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 13:53:00 -
[276]
Something funny?
Nerf Gallente. Blaster Megathrons are overpowered.
Be well, hope you do well wherever you are and wherever you go. |
Malken
Celestial Apocalypse
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 13:58:00 -
[277]
blue squirrels are *** |
Baugoti
Amarr Middle Finger Technology
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 14:13:00 -
[278]
Now this is the story about how my life got flipped and turned upside down and i'd like to take a minute just sit right there, i'll tell you how i went from pvp to become a carebear. In west BZ born and raised on a gate camp is where i spent most of my days chillin out maxin relaxin all cool, sitting in the station wondering what to do, when a couple of guys that had nothing to do starting making trouble in the bz neighborhood i got in one little fight and my pod got scared it said move to roids and be care bears :D i whistled for a barge and when it came near the license plate said mine and it had miners on there if anything i could say that this barge was rare but i said nah forget let's warp over there! i warped up to the belt about 7 or 8 flipped on my miners and said yeah this is great! looked at my asteroid i was finally here to mine these roids and be a care bear |
Xaeltis
Amarr Suns Of Korhal
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 14:13:00 -
[279]
The funniest thing in this thread.
Do I win? |
Vol Arm'OOO
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 14:33:00 -
[280]
Three for the price of one :
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
* * * Dyslexic man walks into a bra * * *
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
|
|
Leona Elum
Save Jita
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 14:35:00 -
[281]
"Torothin successfully added to scammerlist." |
Leon Tango
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 14:58:00 -
[282]
This : http://failblog.org/ |
Asyrdin Harate
Aura of Darkness Nulli Secunda
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 23:33:00 -
[283]
I hope the op likes terrible jokes, cause the only funny thing i see is the amount of people trying... |
William Shark
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 23:44:00 -
[284]
Q: Why would a man spin the world 30 times faster? A: Because then he would get his salary each day and all women would bleed to death. |
Judas II
Extreme-Violence Scelus Sceleris.
|
Posted - 2011.07.09 23:45:00 -
[285]
Edited by: Judas II on 09/07/2011 23:47:57 Can't afford 4 PLEXes to get a monocle? Make your own! Now the poor can be classy too! |
dr Fanden
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Posted - 2011.07.10 01:00:00 -
[286]
Thanksgiving : Celebrating genocide by fisting a dead turkey. |
Senshi Hawk
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Posted - 2011.07.10 01:33:00 -
[287]
Q: How do you effectively confuse an archaeologist? A: Show him a used tampon and ask which period it is from. |
Lupus Hekki
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Posted - 2011.07.10 02:34:00 -
[288]
Edited by: Lupus Hekki on 10/07/2011 02:40:44 All of your smug greed is good faces when he actually isn't going to give the ISK. /trolled
Lets face it. This is now at page 10-11 ish, i doubt that anyone now will get it. if so, win?
Just staying realistic...
Also. [insert funny joke relating eve here]
EDIT: quite unrelated but fail at all the monocle jokes. I wonder if CCP is ever going to randomly give out vanity items at special occasions |
Kitsune Tsuki
Amarr Ministry of War
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Posted - 2011.07.10 19:51:00 -
[289]
Originally by: Ultim8Evil If "pro" is the opposite of "con"...
What is the opposite of "progress"?
I don't know if the OP will ever give anyone the dough but you sure have my vote. ùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùù Un fol enseigne bien un sage. ùRabelais
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Cosmos Chelien
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Posted - 2011.07.10 20:13:00 -
[290]
***** snatching Vampire found in NYC subway
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Hunt Smacker
Gallente TunDraGon
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Posted - 2011.07.10 20:19:00 -
[291]
I need your ISK to cure my space cancer.
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Mishe DD
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Posted - 2011.07.10 20:37:00 -
[292]
Needs more cowbell.
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Fighter26
Orion's Fist
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Posted - 2011.07.10 20:49:00 -
[293]
-What did the boe legged doe say limping out of the forest?
A: I'll never do that again for five bucks.
-
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Tom Peeping
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Posted - 2011.07.10 20:56:00 -
[294]
Why do Cannibals refuse to eat Clowns? --- --- --- Because they taste funny.
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Marchocias
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Posted - 2011.07.10 21:02:00 -
[295]
I'm about to go and drop a massive load. I expect to see my wallet flashing when I get back. ---- Will 2011-06-24 go down as the day CCP stood still, or the day the dream died? |
Unholey
The Grimreapers. Destiny Corrupted.
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Posted - 2011.07.10 21:15:00 -
[296]
Hey Torothin want me to tell you a joke?
My Eve online wallet balance.
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Kitsune Tsuki
Amarr Ministry of War
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Posted - 2011.07.10 21:17:00 -
[297]
Originally by: Mishe DD Needs more cowbell.
Evidently. ùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùù Un fol enseigne bien un sage. ùRabelais
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Seln
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Posted - 2011.07.10 21:25:00 -
[298]
So a clown and a pirate walk on the road...........Ah, forget, im not funny, but my IRL face is.
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Mercantelle
Gallente Lucky Dragon Laundry Service
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Posted - 2011.07.10 22:09:00 -
[299]
Bloodninja : Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14 : Aight. Bloodninja : Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14 : I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja : Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14 : Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja : Me too baby. BritneySpears14 : I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja : I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14 : Hey... Bloodninja : I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Pen1s of the Infinite. BritneySpears14 : Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja : I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14 : You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
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Nike
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Posted - 2011.07.10 22:23:00 -
[300]
please dont MnOK1 me
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Kion Clarix
Rage and Terror Against ALL Authorities
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Posted - 2011.07.10 22:26:00 -
[301]
Edited by: Kion Clarix on 10/07/2011 22:26:18 Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, "My husband is a marriage counselor, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that." The second woman proclaimed, "My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, I like that." The third woman says " my husband works for ccp , he just sits on the edge of the bed telling me how good its going to be ".
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Aoki Ayumi
University of Caille
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Posted - 2011.07.10 23:25:00 -
[302]
I am cute
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Tamahra
Gallente Apina. United Pod Service
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Posted - 2011.07.11 00:15:00 -
[303]
I¦m an unfunny person i know only one joke, and that¦s a crappy one
What¦s the difference between a husband and a bachelor?
The bachelor comes home after work, finds only garbage in his refrigerator and goes to the bedroom. The husband comes home, finds only garbage in his bedroom and goes to the refrigerator.
ÇÇP:
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Torothin
Phathcom Enterprises
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Posted - 2011.07.11 01:28:00 -
[304]
You guys want funny? I'll show you funny!
Women's Rights! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
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Deadlee 063782
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Posted - 2011.07.11 01:42:00 -
[305]
@Torothin - Why just give all that ISK away when u can help me End women's Suffrage. All that isk can help my cause. you can watch how your isk will be put to use.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUP9Jm9SqvY&feature=fvst
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Jimmy Duce
Wildly Inappropriate Goonswarm Federation
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Posted - 2011.07.11 01:56:00 -
[306]
You have to watch it to the end to get the joke
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The Illuminist
Caldari Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2011.07.11 04:37:00 -
[307]
Incarna is a considered an expansion.
Win?
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Jennifer Rizea
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Posted - 2011.07.11 04:38:00 -
[308]
the funniest thing in this thread will have it all contracted to them and see their wallet fill up with 40B isk. Let's see the posts!
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The Illuminist
Caldari Dreddit Test Alliance Please Ignore
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Posted - 2011.07.11 04:42:00 -
[309]
It took five years to develop a system where an avatar can walk from his couch to his space ship.
Win?
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Cassiopeia Andromedae
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Posted - 2011.07.11 04:53:00 -
[310]
I'll bet OP is just buthurt poor nerdy nerd just dreaming about having 70 B worth of ISK
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Leetha Layne
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Posted - 2011.07.11 05:00:00 -
[311]
Edited by: Leetha Layne on 11/07/2011 05:00:47 Guy and his gal watching TV. Newsguy says "Three Brazilian men were killed while parachuting." Gal starts crying wildly. Guys says "Honey, parachuting is dangerous, it's not that upsetting." After she calms down she asks "How many is a brazilian?"
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Verity Sovereign
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Posted - 2011.07.11 06:20:00 -
[312]
So a maid asks the woman of a house for a raise. The woman of the house demands the maid give her 3 good reasons she should get a raise.
First the maid says: "I am a better cook than you" The Wife contests this, and the maid replies "Your husband says I am" The wife conceedes the point
Second the maid says: "I clean the house better than you" Again the wife contests this, and the maid replies "Your husband says I am"
Lastly, the maid says: "I am a better lover than you" The wife is furious and asks "Did my husband say that too?!" The maid replies "No, the Gardener did"
The wife promply agrees to give the maid a raise.
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laurence katra
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Posted - 2011.07.11 11:34:00 -
[313]
Edited by: laurence katra on 11/07/2011 11:34:54 Ahhh i would suggest this site:
http://imgur.com/gallery
My wife and I can spend hours passing gut wrenching pictures back and forth.
May you find what you seek there.
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Valeroth Kyarmentari
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Posted - 2011.07.11 12:36:00 -
[314]
375 Million ISK for an outfit is a moderate price.
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ABig Sodd
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Posted - 2011.07.11 12:39:00 -
[315]
EVE is Real.
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01011 101
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:15:00 -
[316]
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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BoBoZoBo
The Wyld Hunt Cascade Imminent
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:29:00 -
[317]
Edited by: BoBoZoBo on 11/07/2011 13:34:45
This is funny as hell - Animals Being d**ks =========================
Minister of Propaganda - Operator 9 |
assasin oates
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:31:00 -
[318]
Curtesy of Gene Hunt from Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes tv show:
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? 2. One to run around screaming "What do I do?!" and one to *ahem* the electrician.
What's the name for a group of smart blondes? Non-existant What's the name for all the smart players in EVE? Declining.
Why did the dead chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
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Draelos
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:32:00 -
[319]
Edited by: Draelos on 11/07/2011 13:35:39
Originally by: 01011 101 Two hunters...
Worlds Funniest Joke! by laughlab.co.uk (an academic study!) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5064020.stm
Draelos can't think of a decent joke
edit: lol, thats a funny miner http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=9991895 though it wouldve been funnier in lowsec
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igRaVeN
Amarr Drunken Wookies BricK sQuAD.
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:37:00 -
[320]
This is quite funny...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UaFOIboH2E
Give me 40b
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Avaleric
Amarr SC Special Circumstances
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:44:00 -
[321]
What's the first thing a blonde asks her doctor, when he tells her she's pregnant...?
'...are you sure it's mine?' |
Zaratustra
People of Random Nature
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:46:00 -
[322]
YARR!! I've come to steal your homes, burn your women and **** your cattle!!! |
AFK'd
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:48:00 -
[323]
Edited by: AFK''d on 11/07/2011 13:49:08
Originally by: 01011 101 Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
lol never heard that before
ok, hmm
"A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
...He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family"
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Ultim8Evil
Ministry Of Eternal Disorder
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Posted - 2011.07.11 13:50:00 -
[324]
Originally by: Kitsune Tsuki
Originally by: Ultim8Evil If "pro" is the opposite of "con"...
What is the opposite of "progress"?
I don't know if the OP will ever give anyone the dough but you sure have my vote.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Leianna
Carebear Mafia Shadow of xXDEATHXx
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Posted - 2011.07.11 17:00:00 -
[325]
we park on the driveway, but drive on the parkway?
i desperately need the 40bil, as I plan to set up a charitable 'ship fix' for all minmatar pilots. It must be embarassing flying around in rust and ductape, so once this little venture is complete, you can bring your ship by jita 4-4, and our team will replace all peeling tape, attempt to buff out the rust, and give you a complimentary set of exotic dancers and booze for your newly detailed pile of garbage!
of course, total operating costs will run somewhere around 1500 ISK, but I will require the adminitration fee of 39,999,998,500.00 ISK.
======================== Assumption is the mother of all ****-ups. |
Utremi Fasolasi
Gallente The Jagged Edge Disciples of Crom
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Posted - 2011.07.11 17:11:00 -
[326]
Originally by: 01011 101 Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
This one works better if you remember they are Aggie hunters.
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Simetraz
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Posted - 2011.07.11 17:20:00 -
[327]
Edited by: Simetraz on 11/07/2011 17:22:11 70 Bill.....
Do you realize you could buy 192 Plex's or 16 years worth of game time.
So go out and buy 192 plex's then try and plug them into one account. And when it doesn't work petition it.
Yes I would like to redeem my 16 years of game time please
Do it, do it, I double dog dare you
PS - would it be ironic if the day after you manage to get CCP to do it they perma ban you ?
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Vildrin
Entwi De Maila
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Posted - 2011.07.11 17:28:00 -
[328]
Fill a Kestrel with all the plex you can buy and undock it in the most populated trade hub
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AshRagnorok
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Posted - 2011.07.11 17:34:00 -
[329]
I'll bite.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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Leodicia Church
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Posted - 2011.07.11 18:35:00 -
[330]
If I was in your position, I would be asking for local women to send me their pictures. Evaluation, then selection. If these chicks are willing to put their noses that far up your crack, then you might just be able to get something up theirs. I am reminded of some chick on Craigslist who offered her body for some flying spectral liger mount (or something) on WoW. Mind you, if the lady wants the assets that badly, then she most likely has trouble getting the computer chair out from between her pimply buttocks when she stands up. Be careful.
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Dante Marcellus
Minmatar Belligerent Underpayed Tactical Team
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Posted - 2011.07.11 18:37:00 -
[331]
Edited by: Dante Marcellus on 11/07/2011 18:36:49 Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Get.
Get who?
GET TO THA CHOPPA And if you're reading this, you've fallen into a signature trap. You owe me 1m ISK. |
tempus deathbringer
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Posted - 2011.07.11 18:51:00 -
[332]
where's the best place to find peacebloom?
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Aevenon
Caldari EVE Pilot Help Center
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Posted - 2011.07.11 20:37:00 -
[333]
Probably one fo these two are my favorites.
http://idealelements.com/images/tokyodriftnq6.gif
and
http://idealelements.com/images/Thyark.jpg
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Mike639
Caldari Free Masons United Inc.
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Posted - 2011.07.11 20:42:00 -
[334]
Ninjas highjacked my mother -May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. |
Tsushima
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Posted - 2011.07.11 21:34:00 -
[335]
A philosopher walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and tonic please". The barman asks "Would you like ice with that?". The philosopher replies "I think not", and vanishes...
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Huanila Verdshetz
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Posted - 2011.07.11 22:08:00 -
[336]
**** ass commies stole my ******
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