Torothanax
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Posted - 2011.07.09 05:34:00 -
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Edited by: Torothanax on 09/07/2011 05:38:43
What the hell, for even a chance at that much, I can make a fool of myself. It's long-winded but well worth the read.
So a banker decides he wants to be a farmer. He sells all he has and buys a farm in the middle of no where. With no clue as to how to run a farm he heads down the road to his nearest neighbor's place. Upon arrival he offers to pay the man to teach him. The farmer accepts.
He says "Follow me and learn as we go. First off we need to feed the chickens." The farmer points out two and tells the man "Ya see those two right there? The one on the left is a hen, but round here we call em "pullets". The other one is a rooster, but we refer to him as a "c o c k". The farmer grabs the two and tucks one under each arm of the gentleman. "You can take these two with you to get you started."
Next they head over to the barn. The farmer points out a donkey. "Ya see that there fella over yonder? He's what's known as an "ass". Ornery, stubborn critter, but he can really get some work done if you know how to handle him. I ain't had much use for him lately so you can take him up ta yer place and put him to work. We'll talk price later. If he starts actin up, all ya have ta do is scratch him under the chin like this. Calms him right down." The farmer hands him the lead.
The farmer then looks up at the sun and says "I recon you'll have your hands full with that lot there, and I've got chores to attend to. Feel free to come on back after noon. Good day to you". And leaves the man at the gate. With a chicken under each arm and leading a donkey on a rope the man starts walking back to his place.
About half way home, the donkey starts kicking and braying and refuses to go any further no matter how hard the man pulls. The man tries to do as the farmer showed him and scratch the donkey under the chin, but can't reach as he has his arms full. He doesn't dare set the chickens down for fear of being unable to catch them again. So he stands there for a while at a loss for what to do.
As he racks his brain for a solution, someone politely addresses him from behind. "Sir, are you alright?" He turns around to see gorgeous young woman walking toward him. "Is there some way I can help you out?" she asks.
"Oh what a relief!" he exclaims. "Would you be so kind as to hold my c o c k and pullet, while I scratch my ass???"
That's the best I got. Good luck to you where ever you end up.
Edit: Friggin' filter. "C o c k" is a legit term.
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