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Kavol Valarius
Amarr ALIEN OPS Vires Per Iunctum
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Posted - 2011.04.25 18:15:00 -
[1]
So there i was in the middle of a water fight with my kids.
My son was too wet so he docked (Went inside)
My daughter's Weapon fit: 2 x Large Supersoakers. She also had sovereignty of the hose pipe
My fit: 2 x Small standard guns
After 20 mins or so, it was obvious i was both outgunned and outranged.
So what did i do? I did what any decent POD Pilot would do: I ran inside the station, grabbed my running trainers, reloaded my guns and quickly undocked.
By this time my daughter had drifted out of range of the station and was stood there with fully loaded guns looking very confident.
I ran straight for her employing the Zig-Zag method , It was clear that she had no tracking enhancers fitted and at close range it was easy for me to stay under her guns. I set orbit at approx 1 metre and opened fire. Shock seized her and she started to panic.
I then grabbed her and activated the Doomsday device (Put her head under the hose pipe).
Lolz were had.
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Proffesor Vaughn
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Posted - 2011.04.25 18:22:00 -
[2]
This is great. |
omgfreemoniez
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Posted - 2011.04.25 19:17:00 -
[3]
ahahaha thats cute
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Feligast
Minmatar GoonWaffe Goonswarm Federation
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Posted - 2011.04.25 19:32:00 -
[4]
You really need to fit a tank. Maybe 1x floaty toy, or even a damage specific hardener.
Nice job sieging the TCU on the hose pipe, that can be tricky when your fleet sizes are relatively even.
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Patient 2428190
DEGRREE'Fo'FREE Internet Business School
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Posted - 2011.04.25 23:03:00 -
[5]
Can't be EVE PvP you didn't even need to use the Falcon Alt.
Though I could not honestly think of an RL example of that. What a great thread. ...Then when you stopped to think about it. All you really said was Lalala. |
ThirdEyeBlenny
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Posted - 2011.04.25 23:05:00 -
[6]
Let me guess... this is cunning attempt at another 'drake is overpowered' thread.
9/10 for ingenuity
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Kavol Valarius
Amarr ALIEN OPS Vires Per Iunctum
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Posted - 2011.04.26 00:06:00 -
[7]
Originally by: ThirdEyeBlenny Let me guess... this is cunning attempt at another 'drake is overpowered' thread.
9/10 for ingenuity
Ahh you got me.
Lolz
Never forget your speed mod (Trainers)
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Rafael Freeman
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Posted - 2011.04.26 03:57:00 -
[8]
Edited by: Rafael Freeman on 26/04/2011 03:59:26
Originally by: Kavol Valarius
My son was...wet so he.. (Went inside)... My daughter's... hose pipe
Shock seized her and she started to panic.
I then grabbed her....and... activated....head).
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foksieloy
Minmatar Brutor Tribe
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Posted - 2011.04.26 06:08:00 -
[9]
Originally by: Patient 2428190 Can't be EVE PvP you didn't even need to use the Falcon Alt.
Wife baking brownies in the kitchen which distracts the kids. _______________________ The best thing in EvE is Barrage M. |
Dilligafmofo
Gallente Sandman Plc
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Posted - 2011.04.26 07:21:00 -
[10]
I find 2 x small arm bands is enough tank for anything up to 7 years old in such a scenario.
If they have friends waiting at the gate to blob once you have engaged always ensure your falcon alt is available ( next door neighbour armed with 14m hose).
btw, expert use of the doomsday old chap !!
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Cucumber Sammiches
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Posted - 2011.04.26 08:30:00 -
[11]
I hope you did not smack your kids in local afterwards!
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Evolution1979
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Posted - 2011.04.26 10:21:00 -
[12]
I actually applied eve tactics in RL to.
This one time, i was just minding my bussines, walking around in the lowsec park with my dog. When i saw this hot girl walking her dog, i quickly dispatched my dog to get some reinforcments, ass i knew this girl was way to hot for me to handle.
I went on to tackle here, while talking to her how nice her dog was and **** like that. She was mistrusting at first, but i complimented and befriended her.
Then out of the blue my dog gets back into the lowsec park. He was speeding up very fast and coming in agressive. He then grabbed her chihauha (spelling?) and scrammed it very hard, while laying damage onto it by means of humping it.
I then put my arms in the air, making it a triangle, this was the cyno i lit. Bammm there where 4 badass gangbangers, who hotdropped the hot girl fast. They ripped of her clothes and started doing massive damage onto her.(humping also) She went into sturcture very fast.
All the while, i could not do anything but talk to her (tackle) saying how nice she looked, while the gangbangers had their way with her, since i had my arms in a triangle shape, wich is activated for couple of minutes. So i told her she looked hot, with all holes filled up.
When her cherry popped, she was crying so much she forgot to gtfo. So i tackled her again, when i started talking to her again. I ransomed her pod, and she paid 25 euro for it and went on her way. The gangbangers jumped out of the lowsec park and my cyno counter was almost over.
When it was finished, i attended to my dobermann and saw he had trouble hitting the chihauha. I therefore decide to help him, grabbed the leash on the chihauha and made it very slow. (webs) My dobermann then made short work of the chihauha, humped it hard, and afterwards ate the chihauha pod.
All in all, we had good laughs and something to show on our killboard.
That was all, you are dismissed now
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Concubinia Scarlett
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Posted - 2011.04.26 11:59:00 -
[13]
Originally by: Evolution1979 I actually applied eve tactics in RL to.
This one time,.....
I was going to post something amusing in this thread, but that post kinda killed my enthusiasm
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Evolution1979
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Posted - 2011.04.26 12:02:00 -
[14]
Originally by: Concubinia Scarlett
Originally by: Evolution1979 I actually applied eve tactics in RL to.
This one time,.....
I was going to post something amusing in this thread, but that post kinda killed my enthusiasm
Wasnt funny? Should i delete it?
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Proffesor Vaughn
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Posted - 2011.04.26 13:09:00 -
[15]
Edited by: Proffesor Vaughn on 26/04/2011 13:09:39 Im probably feeding the troll but no it was not funny and yes you should delete it.
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RavenPaine
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Posted - 2011.04.26 20:52:00 -
[16]
Now you all must create an alliance, and fly to the neighboring systems.
Additional weapons for the roam: Cap Boosters: (Mountain Dew, Pepsi) Boosters: (Snickers Bar) Bombs: (Water Balloons) Remote Reps: (Ice Cream Truck)
Don't forget that Concord is real :P
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Vorekk
LowBall Heavy Industries
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Posted - 2011.04.28 07:22:00 -
[17]
I set orbit at approx 1 metre and opened fire.
lmao, nice little story man... thanks :) --- Join Lowball Heavy Industries. Small, focused fleets - lots of high intensity action, the EVE way. |
Kastsumi Kobayariel
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Posted - 2011.04.28 07:48:00 -
[18]
If this was real eve pvp tactics you'd have come back with 6 other people armed with clubs and beat her to death.
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Liotia
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Posted - 2011.04.28 08:48:00 -
[19]
Edited by: Liotia on 28/04/2011 08:49:02 ...to be followed with a little mining for ore with the wife.
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Beat General
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Posted - 2011.04.28 13:26:00 -
[20]
So in RL.... the second you scratch somebody... 20 police officers show up and shoot you until you die?
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Solstice Project
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Posted - 2011.04.28 16:08:00 -
[21]
*lol* Nice story :D
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Ohhai Grandis
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Posted - 2011.04.28 17:40:00 -
[22]
Lol @ the floaty toy tank
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Daphne Q
Our Own Pirate Society
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Posted - 2011.04.29 13:18:00 -
[23]
OP: Your story was creative, amusing, and entertaining. Thanks for posting, I enjoyed it.
OTOH, comments about a father and 6 others beating his daughter to death with clubs is not amusing at all. In fact, its way over the line. ---
Originally by: CCP Wrangler EVE isn't designed to just look like a cold, dark and harsh world, it's designed to be a cold, dark and harsh world.
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Sutskop
PILSGESCHWADER Monkey Circus
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Posted - 2011.04.29 13:44:00 -
[24]
Good read :) And: Nerf nanos?
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CaptainSyler
Minmatar
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Posted - 2011.04.29 15:50:00 -
[25]
get a cloaky ship and gatecamp :)
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Zak Zerachiel
Caldari Helljumpers En Garde
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Posted - 2011.05.01 02:02:00 -
[26]
Originally by: Patient 2428190 Can't be EVE PvP you didn't even need to use the Falcon Alt.
Though I could not honestly think of an RL example of that. What a great thread.
Falcon alt: Friend in the bushes with bear mace. Target is successfully "jammed" (blinded, thus cannot target) for... a while. ~~~ Looking for a new and better Corp? Join Hell Public for more info |
Squatdog
State Protectorate
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Posted - 2011.05.01 04:33:00 -
[27]
Floyd Mayweather has successfully employed nano-***ging in his last few bouts.
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Blastfizzle
R.A.G.E
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Posted - 2011.05.01 14:42:00 -
[28]
Personally, I would light a distraction cyno... but good job! ___ Capsuleer 'Hired Goon' has SOLVED LAG. Support his thread in the Assembly Hall! |
Varcaus
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Posted - 2011.05.02 03:08:00 -
[29]
Were was your cap ship buddies (truck with water tank and 4x hose)
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Malcolm Faust
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Posted - 2011.05.04 19:45:00 -
[30]
Where was your neutral rep?
cool story bro
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Dasola
Minmatar
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Posted - 2011.05.05 15:23:00 -
[31]
Wondering if titans doomsday would be equivalent of one of those forest fire helicopters that can drop couple tons of water on you in one go.
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Nilania Telshua
Amarr Hedion University
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Posted - 2011.05.05 17:34:00 -
[32]
Mothership: A schoolbus full of primary-school kids with tiny waterpistols.
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Nizran L'Crit
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Posted - 2011.05.06 15:29:00 -
[33]
Unbreakable tank = Mom with the sink hose spraying from behind the window in the kitchen.
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Nizran L'Crit
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Posted - 2011.05.06 15:31:00 -
[34]
Originally by: Rafael Freeman Edited by: Rafael Freeman on 26/04/2011 03:59:26
Originally by: Kavol Valarius
My son was...wet so he.. (Went inside)... My daughter's... hose pipe
Shock seized her and she started to panic.
I then grabbed her....and... activated....head).
and the quote about clubbing his daughter to death. Grow the **** up. That was uncalled for and just goes to show that no matter the content of a post here someone will go and make it completely obscene. Pigs.
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StaticEcho
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Posted - 2011.05.07 17:07:00 -
[35]
lolz classic
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Aznwithbeard
Minmatar OMGROFLSTOMP
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Posted - 2011.05.08 13:23:00 -
[36]
Originally by: Feligast You really need to fit a tank. Maybe 1x floaty toy, or even a damage specific hardener.
Wet suit/perma tank Guns don't kill people. onowait. |
Hailey Sonata
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Posted - 2011.05.09 11:02:00 -
[37]
haha good lulz to be had.
It's like that one time I did this with a friend of mine back in middle school, many years ago... He thought covering himself with a big black trash bag (tank of minnmatar origin, looking back on it) would protect him. But of course, no tank can protect against the doomsday weapon. (the water hose) It was actually quite comical.
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Alex Stone Katelo
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Posted - 2011.05.10 01:53:00 -
[38]
Originally by: Rafael Freeman Edited by: Rafael Freeman on 26/04/2011 03:59:26
Originally by: Kavol Valarius
My son was...wet so he.. (Went inside)... My daughter's... hose pipe
Shock seized her and she started to panic.
I then grabbed her....and... activated....head).
Rafael Freeman, you are an absolute a**e.
You are either 13 or a sad lonely 40 something pedo.
Get a life dips**t.
Nice thread OP
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Shiva Russell
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Posted - 2011.05.10 11:55:00 -
[39]
Originally by: Feligast You really need to fit a tank. Maybe 1x floaty toy, or even a damage specific hardener.
Nice job sieging the TCU on the hose pipe, that can be tricky when your fleet sizes are relatively even.
Hardener=Sponge
Best thing i've read for a while... thank you
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Shiva Russell
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Posted - 2011.05.10 11:59:00 -
[40]
Edited by: Shiva Russell on 10/05/2011 12:03:15 Edited by: Shiva Russell on 10/05/2011 12:01:38
Originally by: Aznwithbeard
Originally by: Feligast You really need to fit a tank. Maybe 1x floaty toy, or even a damage specific hardener.
Wet suit/perma tank
Actually ^^ this...lol
To the guys who suggested battering his kids to death or the 'peodo', it seems he actually has a life apart from eve and plays nice with his kids... A real man and father and deserves our praise rather than hurtful and imature remarks.
o7 (salutes)
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Kavol Valarius
Amarr Demonic Dawn
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Posted - 2011.05.15 21:21:00 -
[41]
Thanks (most people) for your addition to this little thread.
I lolled at alot of the ideas
Thx again
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Gypsio III
Dirty Filthy Perverts
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Posted - 2011.05.15 21:36:00 -
[42]
Originally by: Malcolm Faust Where was your neutral rep?
An enormous hairdrier?
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ELECTR0FREAK
Eye of God United Front Alliance
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Posted - 2011.05.15 23:44:00 -
[43]
Personally, I prefer to use a stealth bomber. (Camo and Water balloons.)
Discoverer of the Original Missile Damage Formula |
Rasta Rocketman
Sniggerdly Pandemic Legion
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Posted - 2011.05.16 16:24:00 -
[44]
Originally by: Feligast You really need to fit a tank. Maybe 1x floaty toy, or even a damage specific hardener.
Nice job sieging the TCU on the hose pipe, that can be tricky when your fleet sizes are relatively even.
umbrella = 99% resists _______________________________________________
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Sal 'acho
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Posted - 2011.05.19 13:13:00 -
[45]
You could try the nano approach (skateboard) but i'm pretty sure you would get pointed (hit a puddle) reducing your speed to nearly nothing.
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trade medic
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Posted - 2011.05.19 16:03:00 -
[46]
Apply bombing tactic ... Wait out in bushes with water balloons, daughter drifts away from hose, release bombs, come in and finish her off with small arms weapons! Great Post, giggled like a school girl and Im 54!
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Skallebank
Minmatar Deralicts
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Posted - 2011.05.20 11:14:00 -
[47]
Originally by: Cucumber Sammiches I hope you did not smack your kids in local afterwards!
lolz
vote institiute for csm. He will do sexy things to you. |
Corwin Broadside
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
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Posted - 2011.05.20 11:33:00 -
[48]
Great Post. Great replys.
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SHAD0W MASTER
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Posted - 2011.06.04 00:51:00 -
[49]
Ibis = Small child with $1.50 plastic water pistol.
Zealot = Young adult with $75 High powered Supersoaker GTX Mk V
Scimitar = Fast Kid in Track Shoes with 4 portable hair Dryers
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Darthrin Storm
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Posted - 2011.06.12 16:22:00 -
[50]
So were you in 0.0 or was it a wardec? Cuz I didn't hear you mention gateguns(sprinklers)
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Zangorus
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Posted - 2011.06.12 18:28:00 -
[51]
Makes me wanna have kids lol
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ELECTR0FREAK
Eye of God
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Posted - 2011.06.13 04:34:00 -
[52]
Edited by: ELECTR0FREAK on 13/06/2011 04:34:33
Originally by: Zangorus Makes me wanna have kids lol
While it seems like a good idea at first, you have to make it through years of emptying their pod goo, constantly feeding them cap boosters (and cleaning up the ones they've dropped), sitting through embarrassing tantrums in Jita local chat, and injecting them with countless skills before they have enough skillpoints to make worthwhile PVPers.
But hey, training your alts is an investment.
Discoverer of the Original Missile Damage Formula |
VKhaun Vex
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Posted - 2011.06.13 06:46:00 -
[53]
Some guy thought he was a pro pirate and tried to take my ship IRL. I fired my projectile weapon at him. Unfortunately he was outside his pod and had no clone on stand by. Somali Coast is a fun system. ^^
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Lutz Major
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Posted - 2011.06.13 07:16:00 -
[54]
Originally by: ELECTR0FREAK While it seems like a good idea at first, you have to make it through years of emptying their pod goo, constantly feeding them cap boosters (and cleaning up the ones they've dropped), sitting through embarrassing tantrums in Jita local chat, and injecting them with countless skills before they have enough skillpoints to make worthwhile PVPers.
But hey, training your alts is an investment.
true, true ... and I wish I could fit my clothes with some poo, pee and vomit hardeners :)
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Gloryhunter
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Posted - 2011.06.14 12:41:00 -
[55]
Shoulda had your wife wearing a cargo box lobbing water balloons at them
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Servitor 002
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Posted - 2011.06.14 14:31:00 -
[56]
Cov ops - The wife going out to buy the kids nerf guns while im at work.
Gank Squad - Said Nerf gun armed kids splattering me, the wall, door and passing traffic with nerf bullets when I arrived home :) (6 kids with auto nerf guns = a crap load of foam bullets)
Great post OP thanks for the laugh.
cheers
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ElJo123
Accompanied By Unicorns
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Posted - 2011.06.15 00:26:00 -
[57]
Originally by: Kavol Valarius
My daughter's Weapon fit: 2 x Large Supersoakers. She also had sovereignty of the hose pipe
Trouble with small alliances holding sov is that GODdot likes to drop by and rain on their parade.
yes this is a hidden nerf clouds whine post.
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Zoroa Aulx-Gao
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Posted - 2011.06.15 11:40:00 -
[58]
Originally by: Evolution1979 Edited by: Evolution1979 on 26/04/2011 13:14:26 Edit: Deleted as per request
Ok I just Eve Search'd your post, you got some problems bro.
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Enik3
Crimson Empire. Nulli Secunda
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Posted - 2011.06.15 14:05:00 -
[59]
Originally by: Zoroa Aulx-Gao
Originally by: Evolution1979 Edited by: Evolution1979 on 26/04/2011 13:14:26 Edit: Deleted as per request
Ok I just Eve Search'd your post, you got some problems bro.
Did the same -- "problems" is an understatement
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