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Agony Uncle: Let Pompous Share Your Pain

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Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:11:00 - [1] Greetings children It is I, Pompous, and I have returned to ease the burden of your EVE lives. In a munificent gesture of magnamanity, I am throwing open use of my patients couch to you, the unwashed masses. To that end, I am here and waiting to answer any EVE related problem you might have (Problem with your CEO? Don't know what to do with ninja salvagers? Not quite making the impact on the forums that you'd like?), and to help you along the path to happy EVE-dom. Take care and let's hear your dilemmas! --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Benri Konpaku	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:24:00 - [2] Hello Dr. Pompous! Here's my question: How do you fight censorship and oppression in EVE without having to organize massive account cancellations and bothersome things like that? Help! Sincerely, Censored Gallente guy. __________ "Welcome, to city 17. It's safer here." Support this. Bring your own crowbar and HEV suit.
Trader20	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:29:00 - [3] So wat kind of meds do u prescribe? Just leave it blank and I'll fill my own in
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:30:00 - [4] Originally by: Benri Konpaku Hello Dr. Pompous! Here's my question: How do you fight censorship and oppression in EVE without having to organize massive account cancellations and bothersome things like that? Help! Sincerely, Censored Gallente guy. Why hello Censored! Allow me to say that, for any "EVE Management" problems, simply rabbling on the forum enough is often enough to solve most quandries. However, for particularly contentious situations, making a themed forum signature is more than sufficient to convince the powers that be to rectify the problem - after all, you wouldn't have gone to all that trouble to make the sig if you were'nt truly committed! Hope this helps! --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:32:00 - [5] Originally by: Trader20 So wat kind of meds do u prescribe? Just leave it blank and I'll fill my own in Have you ever heard of "talking therapy"? By finding the root of your problems through dialogue, we can achieve what medication would only tangentially solve! PS I think you are a booster smuggler in EVE and think you should lay off the Frentix for a while --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Trader20	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:38:00 - [6] Edited by: Trader20 on 05/04/2010 20:38:01 Originally by: Captain Pompous Originally by: Trader20 So wat kind of meds do u prescribe? Just leave it blank and I'll fill my own in Have you ever heard of "talking therapy"? By finding the root of your problems through dialogue, we can achieve what medication would only tangentially solve! PS I think you are a booster smuggler in EVE and think you should lay off the Frentix for a while I'll stick to drugs, they're better, they work, and I can avoid talking to ppl like urself.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:39:00 - [7] Originally by: Trader20 I'll stick to drugs, they're better, they work, and I can avoid talking to ppl like urself. Ah yes indeed, young man, but it was you that walked through my door first...no? --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Trader20	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:50:00 - [8] Originally by: Captain Pompous Originally by: Trader20 I'll stick to drugs, they're better, they work, and I can avoid talking to ppl like urself. Ah yes indeed, young man, but it was you that walked through my door first...no? touchT.....now can I have more drugs?
Exploding Tukey	Posted - 2010.04.05 20:55:00 - [9] Dr Pompous, I keep taking advice from people on the forums and I want to stop being so trusting. How do I stop myself from taking advice from people I do not know? Thanks, Tu(r)key.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.05 21:00:00 - [10] Originally by: Exploding Tukey Dr Pompous, I keep taking advice from people on the forums and I want to stop being so trusting. How do I stop myself from taking advice from people I do not know? Thanks, Tu(r)key. You know, that's a really good question and it got me scratching the old Pompinator! I think I've narrowed this problem down to one of three root causes: Gullibility Persuasiveness of EVE Online Forum Posters Other Well, I know you're a very intelligent young lady (look at where you came for help!) so it can't be number one...plus, I don't think there is any "Other" in category three, so I reckon it must be number two! So, in summary, my professional judgement is that you should throw caution to the wind, don't try and close the stable door after the horse has bolted, and put your trust in us, the forum community! After all, we (collectively) know what's best! Any old blueprints, gratefully received! --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.

Zirse Minmatar Integrated Astromechanics Corp.	Posted - 2010.04.05 21:17:00 - [11] Hi there Cap'n. What should I do it for? Do it for the money? Do it for the glory? Do it for the love? Do it for the lulz? Do it for fraks sake?
Bongo Debbie Minmatar Trillionaire High-Rollers Suicidal Bassoon Orkesta	Posted - 2010.04.05 21:20:00 - [12] Dear Pompy, Someone has invited me over for tea on the condition that I bring my spanking paddles. Should I trust them? ----
Trader20	Posted - 2010.04.05 21:20:00 - [13] cap I got this rash and it burns when I pee, is that a sign of fear of commitment or herpes?
Cat o'Ninetails Rancer Defence League	Posted - 2010.04.05 21:26:00 - [14] hi captain pompous cat here i have an issue whereby i think i am falling away from my ideals. i like to be nice to ppl but sometimes ppl are not nice to me or they make me so mad i just want to rage on lol so how do i make ppl confirm to my standards so there will not be such animosity or the risk of cat rage lol? ty x
Zartrader	Posted - 2010.04.06 02:02:00 - [15] Dear Captain Pompous My..err...friend, who shall remain nameless to avoid embarrassment, has delusions of adequacy. Could you please explain to him why it's bad to go to low sec in a mission ship and still think 'it'll work this time, I'm sure of it' despite all evidence to the contrary. He also get's a bit...overexcited... when he sees a Titan, but he's already seeing a sex therapist about that. Thanking you in anticipation. Zarshag
Jerid Verges Gallente The Society of Innovation The Last Stand	Posted - 2010.04.06 04:36:00 - [16] Edited by: Jerid Verges on 06/04/2010 04:38:01 Dear Dr. Pompous, How can I stop being so cheap in Eve? If I had thrown up the money for 3 +4 Implants to Perception, Memory, and Intelligence I could have shaved about a week off my long training queue. And I always try to skim by on costs when I can even if I have the money to afford it. In fact, I even contemplated going into nullsec to buy a fitted ship in a player owned station just because it was a few Mill cheaper in the contracts. What do I do? -JV
Paknac Queltel Standards and Practices	Posted - 2010.04.06 05:53:00 - [17] Dear Pompous Recently, I've had disturbing dreams of organizing hundreds of people to gank the Jita 4-4 station. The station itself, not the people around it. Is this normal, and if not, what can I do about it? Sleepless in Jita - Paknac Queltel
Queue K'Umber	Posted - 2010.04.06 05:56:00 - [18] Captain Pompous, Will you ever be promoted to Major? It distresses me to some extent to see you mired at your current rank. Thank You, Queue K'Umber (of the Nottingham K'Umbers, not those social climbers from Northampton) Originally by: Cat o'Ninetails hi captain pompous cat here i have an issue whereby i think i am falling away from my ideals. i like to be nice to ppl but sometimes ppl are not nice to me or they make me so mad i just want to rage on lol so how do i make ppl confirm to my standards so there will not be such animosity or the risk of cat rage lol? ty x You have the makings of an violent dictator. Have you considered violence as an outlet for your desire to deprive others of their freedom of choice? Contrary to modern soft-headed well intentioned* psychobabble, violence solves a wide variety of things. I see potential in your anger. Do you have it in you to be the most hated and feared pirate in all of New Eden? *What is the proverbial road to hell paved with?
smoky26 Gallente Phoenix Industries Black Star Alliance	Posted - 2010.04.06 06:12:00 - [19] Captain Pompous Hi I have erectile dysfunction and Viagra no longer works what should I do? Im Naked
Aera Aiana	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:47:00 - [20] Originally by: Captain Pompous However, for particularly contentious situations, making a themed forum signature is more than sufficient to convince the powers that be to rectify the problem - after all, you wouldn't have gone to all that trouble to make the sig if you were'nt truly committed! Following your advice, Dr. Pompous!

Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:47:00 - [21] Originally by: Zirse Hi there Cap'n. What should I do it for? Do it for the money? Do it for the glory? Do it for the love? Do it for the lulz? Do it for fraks sake? Hi there Zirse! Might I enquire what 'it' might be? If you'd rather not divulge any further information on these here public forums, I'd certainly encourage you to do 'it' for the love (of the game) and the lulz (from your fellow capsuleers)! HTH!
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:50:00 - [22] Originally by: Bongo Debbie Dear Pompy, Someone has invited me over for tea on the condition that I bring my spanking paddles. Should I trust them? Dear Bongo (AKA Ms. Planks ) Absolutely! Getting out and about in the EVE universe is crucial to your maximum enjoyment of New Eden. Who knows what friendships and connections you might make when you take a chance, going out of an evening in your Ibis of fun! I wasn't too sure about the paddles - he initially sounded a bit weird to me! - but I think such an individual could be nothing less than fascinating. My advice to you is to strap yourself in and enjoy the ride of a lifetime! HTH
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:51:00 - [23] Originally by: Trader20 cap I got this rash and it burns when I pee, is that a sign of fear of commitment or herpes? Originally by: smoky 26 Captain Pompous Hi I have erectile dysfunction and Viagra no longer works what should I do? Im Naked Hi guys, Unfortunately I can only advise on EVE-related problems
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:54:00 - [24] Originally by: Cat o'Ninetails hi captain pompous cat here i have an issue whereby i think i am falling away from my ideals. i like to be nice to ppl but sometimes ppl are not nice to me or they make me so mad i just want to rage on lol so how do i make ppl confirm to my standards so there will not be such animosity or the risk of cat rage lol? ty x Cat rage lol Can I assume that you are referring to the Rancer Defence League? If that's the case, might I suggest that you organise a pow-wow with all of the people whom you fear are falling short of your standards. It is absolutely essential that this meeting is held in space, in armed ships, at Rancer I, Moon II at 1600 GMT tomorrow! HTH x
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 09:58:00 - [25] Originally by: Zartrader Dear Captain Pompous My..err...friend, who shall remain nameless to avoid embarrassment, has delusions of adequacy. Could you please explain to him why it's bad to go to low sec in a mission ship and still think 'it'll work this time, I'm sure of it' despite all evidence to the contrary. He also get's a bit...overexcited... when he sees a Titan, but he's already seeing a sex therapist about that. Thanking you in anticipation. Zarshag Dear Zarshag, You know, I think that, deep inside, your friend is an adventurous sort. You know the kind - he or she is that person who'll always run to the store in a hurricane just to get a pack of cigarettes, or who'll cross the lion enclosure just because it's a shorter route to the hot dog stall. So I think this person is to be applauded for their sense of risk-taking and "throwing-caution-to-the-wind" attitude! Might I suggest lots of ECCM modules and missioning in a Tengu so as to become unprobable? Not too sure about the Titan lol - maybe he should experiment on a small scale first, perhaps with an Apocalypse? HTH --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 10:03:00 - [26] Originally by: Jerid Verges Edited by: Jerid Verges on 06/04/2010 04:38:01 Dear Dr. Pompous, How can I stop being so cheap in Eve? If I had thrown up the money for 3 +4 Implants to Perception, Memory, and Intelligence I could have shaved about a week off my long training queue. And I always try to skim by on costs when I can even if I have the money to afford it. In fact, I even contemplated going into nullsec to buy a fitted ship in a player owned station just because it was a few Mill cheaper in the contracts. What do I do? -JV Dear Jerid, I think it's important to recognise that being cheap isn't a lifestyle, it's a frame of mind. Yes, you are now experiencing regrets about the lost training time that you have missed through your penny-pinching ways on Implant Purchase Day. However, I think the solution is closer at hand than you may think! You ae obviously set on saving as much money as possible, and that is to be commended. But you can turn this to your advantage, too! Might I suggest doing the following: 1. Train Trade skill to at least level one 2. Wait for skill training to complete 3. Set buy orders for said implants in missioning hubs 4. Wait for buy orders to be filled 5. ??? 6. Profit! (Well, faster training times!) Don't forget that buying things on contracts from nullsec stations can be a false economy - after all, you might not be able to dock! HTH --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 10:05:00 - [27] Originally by: Paknac Queltel Dear Pompous Recently, I've had disturbing dreams of organizing hundreds of people to gank the Jita 4-4 station. The station itself, not the people around it. Is this normal, and if not, what can I do about it? Sleepless in Jita Dear Paknac, If I understand it correctly, your deep desire to destroy the station at Jita 4-4 is actually a sublimation of your desire to destroy everyone in Jita and leave it a pristine system. A wilderness, if you will. So my prescription is short and simple: load up on Scorpions, fit large smartbombs, and sit outside the undock exit and benefit from insurance while you still can! HTH --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Armoured C Gallente Globaltech Industries The ENTITY.	Posted - 2010.04.06 10:12:00 - [28] why do i have the need to spam things dr pompous?
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 10:16:00 - [29] Originally by: Queue K'Umber Captain Pompous, Will you ever be promoted to Major? It distresses me to some extent to see you mired at your current rank. Thank You, Queue K'Umber (of the Nottingham K'Umbers, not those social climbers from Northampton) Dear Queue K'Umber of Nottinghamshire, My rank was bestowed upon me following a blinding act of tactical brilliance that was never to be repeated. I don't have to serve in the Navy when war befalls us, but at least I am allowed into the Officer's club! With regards to your question, I am quite happy where I am with my rank - any higher, people might think that I am too Pompous. Any lower...and they might think I'm not Pompous enough! HTH PS. Please refrain from dispensing unauthorised advice to my patients whilst in my office. Much appreciated --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.
Captain Pompous Is Right Even When He's Wrong So Deal With It	Posted - 2010.04.06 10:17:00 - [30] Originally by: Aera Aiana Originally by: Captain Pompous However, for particularly contentious situations, making a themed forum signature is more than sufficient to convince the powers that be to rectify the problem - after all, you wouldn't have gone to all that trouble to make the sig if you were'nt truly committed! Following your advice, Dr. Pompous! Happy to help, and good luck! --- Even though you might disagree with what I say, that doesn't automatically make me a troll.



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